when does it end and why does he not care

[sweetione]

i think i am losing my mind... today is my birthday....thought he would call me or send a card or text message or something but he didn't. i had called him earlier but didnt' leave a message or anything. It has been over 6 weeks for nc. We never fought ever, i just loved him, but for whatever reason, he decided he wanted to date and that he didn't love me as he use to so here i am, just broken down, not knowing how to keep pretending. Anyone understand this??? giving someone your love, and they just throw it to the curb with no after thought?

 

I am not knowing how to proceed. I am trying to take care of me, but none it makes me happy. i just want to hide away until the pain goes away, does it ever go away?????

[wickedbusa]

The pain goes away, I promise. For some, it goes away quickly, and for others, it may take years. There is no saying why people do the irrational things they do. I know how hard it must be for you to comprehend how you can give so much to someone, only to have them let you down and tell you that they do not want you anymore. I know, I have been there and it is a terrible feeling. You must understand one thing, you cannot expect anything from him anymore. Do not live your life expecting to hear from him, it will only hold you back from healing from this emotional wound. There will be someone else who will love you for who you are and will never make you feel the pain you are feeling right now. Someone who will return the love you give them unconditionally. Try to keep busy as much as you can and look to your friends to give you strength when you most need it. Do not call him or attempt to make any kind of contact. It will be great to hear his voice again, but the moment you hang up, you will feel even more terrible than before you called. Focus on making yourself happy, join a gym, or even go out and enjoy your hobbies. Try not to decipher what has happened anymore. There is no explanation for what happened. Unfortunately, we cannot control what other people do, you can only control yourself. Good luck and please PM me if you need a friend. We are all here for you.

[stolenshadow]

You felt that pain because sadly you were still expecting him to change his mind, you can't control that. If he couldn't see all the good things that you were giving him it's not your fault, and now you know he's not the one try to forget him and look for that person that is going to phone you even when it's not your birthday.

And, I know I'm a day late but: Happy Birthday!

 

At wickedbusa something you said got stuck in my head

There will be someone else (...) who will return the love you give them unconditionally

 

That was beautiful! I so much would like to believe it, that it can be possible for all of us; Believing there's a person that's not only going to take and leave us wondering if we gave enough.

A very nice thought.

[Scout]

Did he never give you any reason at all for the breakup? If that's what's driving you nuts, why don't you call him and say, look, I need to move on from this, but it's very difficult because I feel like I have no answers. If you had any shred of caring for me, could you please explain in all honesty why you decided to leave this relationship? I can accept whatever you tell me, as long as it's the truth.

 

I know most people will say no way, don't do this...but darn it, people owe us an explanation at least when they break things off for no reason!

[Zipp]

Girl, it will get better. I'm in a similar situation, in so far as the pain, it's been almost a month & some days are better than others. My ex decided he wanted to date, and he is, with no trouble. So yeah I know just what it feels like to have the one u love treat your love like it doesn't matter much. If you have something to distract you take advantage of it. I have been doing hundreds of crunches a day, reading book after book and it has been helping me some. But it's important that whatever you choose to distract you is just for you, take care of yourself right now. Sometimes people are selfish but don't ever mistake their hang ups for your flaws. Oh and Happy Birthday.

[Scout]

Sometimes people are selfish but don't ever mistake their hang ups for your flaws.

 

True words of wisdom. Something so many of us should be repeating like a mantra every single day.

[wickedbusa]

Stolenshadow,

 

Thank you for the kind words. If the words I speak here affect just one person, then the words from my heart have done their job. Nothing in this world is impossible, you just have to believe with your heart and soul that one day, you will meet someone who will make your life more that what you ever imagined it to be. I believe it, and everyday that passes, I know that I am one day closer to the day when I will be able to share a life full of happiness with that one person who will love me as much as I love her.