Need some encouragement. Please.

[DogsAreLove]

I feel so annoying posting in this every other day. If I have to post here then I know my answer, end it, right? I think I just need encouragement and to be told that I'm right for wanting to end things with my boyfriend.

 

Long story short, I've been with my bf for about a year, I'm never invited out with his friends, yet he expects an invite out with mine. He will be with his friends in the area of my work, and not visit or ask me to drop by after my shift. Then he complains he never gets to see me, but his time with his friends is reserved only for "the guys" (meanwhile one of the guys' girlfriends is there 75% of the time).

 

When we go out with my friends, he's always tired or sick or something, and wants to leave early. I got annoyed by this Friday when he told me he wanted us to leave early because he wasn't feeling well, I ended up convincing him not to come if he wasn't feeling well because it's not fair I should spend less time with my friends I haven't seen in months.

 

Saturday after my shift at work, some customers who are regulars and friends of mine, invited me to sit with them (I work at a bar) and I said okay because I had no other plans. My bf was in the area with his friends and didn't invite me or anything yet he missed me so much and really wanted to see me. We have fought about this a lot. I brought this up to him the first time two months ago, then every couple of weeks since as he never invited me out and said he would "try". 3 weeks ago we almost broke up bc he was acting distant and still not inviting me out while he expected to always come with me with my friends and leave early. His distance was due to family issues, I forgave him and he said he'd invite me out with his friends.

 

Which brings us to Saturday. He asked me what I was up to and I told him I was hanging out at work with some people because no one wanted to hang out with me that night including my bf who misses me and is down the street. I admit I may have provoked him but he told me off! Called me spiteful, gave me a list of things he's done nice for me, and said I do things to him that I think are "poetic justice" that hurt him.

 

Anyway this is getting too long. The bottom line is I'm not really happy anymore and I'm thinking of ending it tomorrow. I told him we need to talk tomorrow and he agreed.

 

ALSO, tomorrow it's his "turn" to drive, but he asked me to drive instead because he has to drive for 2 hours to get to work and back and he's sick with a cold. (I have to drive two hours tomorrow getting to school and back and I've been sick for months with something more serious than a cold but my doctor sucks and is telling me to wait a few more months if it gets worse but that's a whole other story lol). I find this really selfish of him.

 

He's never going to change. He is a good guy, would never cheat on me or lie to me (As far as I'm concerned), but I just don't think we're really compatible and I'm not happy anymore... is that an okay enough reason to end it?

[SapphireNoir10]

Yes. He isnt meeting your needs or making you happy and there are clear double standards. I think it sounds like he agrees and probably is aware the talk will result in the demise of your partnership. If you dont do it, I can see him doing it.

[DogsAreLove]

Thank you thank you thank you for the response!!

 

If 100 more people can respond and tell me I'm right it would help even more!! lol I feel so ........pathetic... needing all this reassurance.... sigh

[Maroney555]

I agree with Sapphire. This relationship is not a good thing for you guys.

[DogsAreLove]

Thanks!!!!!!!!!!

 

I'm judging by the silence on this thread most people are thinking "what an idiot, of course they should break up, where's the next interesting thread?" otherwise I'd get some messages saying "NO! You should salvage it because of x, y, and z and you are dumb" ...right?!

[doyathink]

You need to do what you feel in your heart. Regret is a hard thing to live with.

[metrogirl]

Well I guess I can be the fourth person to tell you that you have to go with what makes you happy. Ultimately if he isn't making you happy, then you should end it so that a nice new boy will have a chance to make you happy.

[Kitten love]

I agree with the other lovely posters, your heart is just not in this relationship anymore. You broke up 2mths ago, got back together and nothing changed significantly, so I believe you have given the relationsip (and him!) every chance.

 

Please just do him a favour though, don't give him ANY hope that you might offer him another chance as you did last time. This will only prolong the healing period.

 

Good luck.

[DogsAreLove]

Thanks everyone.

 

Kittenlove just to clarify we never actually broke up, we almost did 3 weeks ago, but we didn't. It's the issues I had that I brought up 2 months ago which is when they began to bother me.

 

I'm talking to him on msn right now and he's acting like we never fought which makes this that much harder. He's cool to talk to when we're not talking about feelings or the relationship. Sigh!!!

[Kitten love]

My ex was like that too, some people have real problems opening up emotionally..

If you're completely unhappy and absolutely 100% sure he's incabale of change, you need to let him go.

[sweetnsour231]

wow! That was me my friend! He NEVER invited me anywhere, and came with me half the time.. I confronted him numerous times.. And he never had an answer for me.. So, i had learned to accept it, however i guess maybe my attitude has changed and he ended up breaking up with me.. To this day, my friends and I scratch our heads, like why wouldnt he ever invite me, even girlfriends of his whom I met through other friends, apparently the girls in his group were also questionning why he would never bring me arround, and apparently he made it seem like it was cause i didnt feel like it.. Anyways.. He will always be like that, i tried to test it out for 2 years. If you talk to him and things dont change, they probably wont. Its really sucks