8888 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I was away skiing with a friend for a wknd and i hurt my knee pretty bad on the 2nd day. I chose not to tell my gf so she wouldn't worry about it. There was nothing to worry about and i felt like I could take one for the team and go up the third dAY and go see a doctor after the wknd. I also didnt want to hear that I shouldn't continue skiing and then if I would, shed feel like I don't listen to her etc... Anyway when I got back it got back to her from my friends gf cuz he accidently mentioned it to her. She got mad at because I didn't tell her. I kept telling I just didn't want to tell you cuz there was nothing to worry about and I was afraid shed worry for nothing. Thats all. No big deal ( to me ). Dont you think that a normal person would be more interested in knowing what happened, or how im feeling, or " you still should have told me, but its ok, let get you home and ice that right away''. No. She stayed mad. I had to carry my stuff inside limping, she didnt even offer to help me with my luggage. She acted like a child. I was so mad cuz this wasn't the welcome back i was expecting. Am I crazy for being a little turned off by this?? Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Honestly, I would understand why she would be upset. If my bf hurt himself, I would like to know about it. Regardless of whether or not he thinks it's a big deal or not. Personally, if he's hurt, I'd be concerned. It may not be a big deal to you, but what if the tables were turned? If you found out she hurt herself, and you found out from someone else rather than her, wouldn't it bother you as well? Link to comment
8888 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 Yeah that's fine. I could understand that it bothered her. But if it was me and she told me that she didn't want me to be worried but everything is ok, I would forget about why I'm bothered and just focus on what i can do to help. Which includes helping with the picking up of luggage. No? Link to comment
DN Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 She seems very inconsistent - on the one hand she wants to know because she is concerned about you and then doesn't help. So it seems her 'concern' for your well-being isn't real - it is just that she is mad because she was not informed. Link to comment
8888 Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 She seems very inconsistent - on the one hand she wants to know because she is concerned about you and then doesn't help. So it seems her 'concern' for your well-being isn't real - it is just that she is mad because she was not informed. That's exactly what I was thinking. Link to comment
misssmithviii Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Sounds to me she's mad that you didn't include her in something. If my bf hurt himself and (by some whim) didn't tell me, I'd probably say something along the lines of, "Wow babe. Get your ___ inside and throw ice on it. Hope you learned your lesson now that you're limping haha." Jokingly. But that's me. Link to comment
DaveTrump Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 You're in a relationship: Any knocks, grazes, cuts; tell your Woman first. Her reaction is way out of line though. You need to set it straight or she'll just be flying off the handle all the time. Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 She acted like a child, but I don't think she doesn't care about you. She probably does, but is childish. I got mad at my bf for not telling me he got the CM virus, but I went over there and took care of him right after. Link to comment
Snny Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 ^^^^ I agree. She completely overreacted. Ok, you got hurt, took care of it and was planning to tell her until some person had to go run their mouth. It wasn't that person's business to begin with. But no, she had to B you out for it before you just got back and before you could explain everything? Hell no. She is not your wife dude and needs to know her place. It's not like you had to be taken to the ER or something totally serious... it's just a doctor appointment. GET THE HELL OVER IT, SISTER- Stuff happens on a ski trip! She needs to chill, have a few sips of vodka, whatever, before acting like a drama queen. And like pink said... she should stop her B'ing and get over there and take care of you. Give you a little massage or some soup or something. Yelling and screaming and blaming does not help the problem. Link to comment
geekgirl4 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I can understand her point of view. If my partner had gotten hurt or was sick in any way, I would want to know right away. In turn, if I was hurt in any way, my partner would be one of the first people to know. IMO, keeping your partner informed when something important happens shows you care enough to share the information with her. I'm not going to call my old roommate from 6 years ago about how I scraped my car. I'm not going to let my neighbor know that I got a promotion at work. I tell them to the people close/important to me because sharing in these parts of life is what keeps the relationship steady. I have to agree that she went over the top in her reaction. She should have helped out with your bags and get you settled and comfortable. That was pretty selfish and immature. I would definitely talk to her about it but just keep in mind how she felt when she, as your partner, was out of the loop you got hurt. Link to comment
velvette Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I don't think she was over the top. if it's not such a big deal to you, then you can carry your own luggage. especially if you can ski with that injury. ;P it's not like she was spraying salt into your wounds! she was just treating you the way you were pretty much "asking" to be treated; as if nothing happened. did it also get back to her *why* you didn't want to tell her (fear of nagging)? Link to comment
wildchild1 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 It sound as if she is being childish. If she was so concerned, she has a funny way of showing it. Link to comment
geekgirl4 Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 she was just treating you the way you were pretty much "asking" to be treated; as if nothing happened. did it also get back to her *why* you didn't want to tell her (fear of nagging)? This is a pretty good point to keep in mind... Link to comment
Snny Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 I can understand her point of view. If my partner had gotten hurt or was sick in any way, I would want to know right away. In turn, if I was hurt in any way, my partner would be one of the first people to know. Being sick is one thing, especially if the person is contagious and you been around your partner. But a ski injury... meh. Maybe I'm insensitive but I have lived near a ski resort for a couple of years to know that injuries are frequent. It's one of those, "Ok I got hurt, but I saw a doc to treat it and am not seriously injured." Even if he was seriously injured, the girlfriend can't do anything about it. He hurt his knee and surgery was NOT needed. No need to over dramatize a temporary injury because it only make things WORSE, not better. The one fact people are missing is that this guy didn't even get a CHANCE to explain it to his girlfriend yet because he was trying to treat his injuries before telling her, and someone else told her before he could. That's why I said she overreacted. Plain and simple. Link to comment
raziel1687 Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 Maybe she feels that, if you are going to keep stuff like that to yourself and not tell her. Then what else are you keeping to yourself that you aren't telling her? That may make her lose her trust with you. Link to comment
DN Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 I think if someone is going to lose trust with you over something like this then their trust is way too fragile for a relationship to survive. Link to comment
imoutfront Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 I agree with what others have said. You were wrong to not mention it to her, and I can understand why that would upset her. But once she DID know, she should've taken care of you (or at least offered). Her refusing to help you was a childish tantrum. Link to comment
lady00 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Have you discussed it since? What result? Link to comment
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