Naitsirhc Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 I am 19 years old in college and I find a girl in my lecture class attractive. I would want speak to her about it except i'm a noob when it comes to dating, and I don't know if I have the right of way to speak to the girl after class OR when we are waiting to get in class. To be honest I am 5'7, a bit skinny, and I have no life. I just go to class then go home, play video games do HW, that's what I do in my life, so i'm not interesting at all. I was hoping of having girlfriends when I get a stable job, and a good income after college. But maybe I can finally speak to girls? I don't know.. what to converse about? I have only approached a girl ONCE in highschool, and after I did I couldn't keep it cool and I let the girl leave because I just didn't know what to say. As I said, I have no life, and am not interesting. Also, I like to think I am a shy person since I have no experience with female companionship and I've looked around the internet to see what the biological reason for this was. I searched: "Shy brain" on link removed and there is an actual evolutionary reason for shy people. I definitely have a "shy brain" when it comes to approaching girls, as I am more observant, and think a lot about what things could go wrong. Anyway, I really want to learn to flirt with girls because I feel if I can't in college then, I will never be able to since my career choice will not have me in situations with a lot of women(Computer Science). Also I constantly think any girls are out of my league, since I cannot picture myself with them. I know I have a biological reason for being the way I am, but how do I combat this to be the way I want to be? Link to comment
jenny_mcs Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Oh sweetie, of course you have the "right of way" to chat with any of your classmates before or after class. Why don't you try to walk out with her or near her one day and then break the ice by saying something about the class or an upcoming assignment? This is totally normal. Link to comment
Naitsirhc Posted February 9, 2011 Author Share Posted February 9, 2011 Haha, I can already picture that not going well. I feel after class everyone is in a hurry out the class, but say if I do ask her about the assignment what do I say after to keep the conversation? Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Haha, I can already picture that not going well. I feel after class everyone is in a hurry out the class, but say if I do ask her about the assignment what do I say after to keep the conversation? ask if she wants to study with you some time. exchange phone numbers. Link to comment
jenny_mcs Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Haha, I can already picture that not going well. I feel after class everyone is in a hurry out the class, but say if I do ask her about the assignment what do I say after to keep the conversation? This is the kind of negative attitude that is going to keep you isolated. It is the most normal thing in the world for students leaving a class to talk about the class or upcoming assignments. Since you said in your initial post that usually after class you go straight home to play video games and do homework. You should practice talking to other people in general- not just girls you think are attractive. Practice talking to other people- then talking to a pretty girl won't seem like an impossible task. Link to comment
AliceInLaw Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 I'm in the same boat only with a guy from one of my classes. 1) Don't feel down about yourself, confidence is the sexiest thing! 2) Just talk to her, talk about an assignment, the lecture, a project, if she'd like to get together to study. Even if she declines it's excellent practice 3) Talk about where you two are from, how you grew up, traveling, fav bands, shows, movies, extracurriculars, current events, funny sites like link removed or link removed 4) Smile, be friendly, BREATHE, and remember, she's just one girl Good luck! Link to comment
rkitchen2112 Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 I'm kinda in the same boat as you. I'm 17 and there's this girl I like at work and I tried to get her number through a random Facebook message and I think I'm creeping her out. My main question is how do I approch her next time I work? Link to comment
Naitsirhc Posted February 10, 2011 Author Share Posted February 10, 2011 Hey peeps, so just today after a class of mine finished, I encountered the girl waiting on the bus stop, I didn't know she was there but she saw me apparently and asked me "Hey, are you in my sociology class"? I told her "yeah" and I can't really remember details but we started talking about our majors and what we thought about the lecture, where we're from. I started out awkward at first since I was nervous as heck in my head. But, as the conversation kept going I started getting more comfortable with her, and everything I said came out pretty natural. I also couldn't help smile a lot during the conversation. I even managed to give her a semi-hug as in a joke about the cold weather. It all seemed coincidental because I made this thread about this girl the night before I actually speak to her, and she actually approached me! There wasn't much flirting, I think. However, I feel we got to know each other better, and I can actually have her as one of the few friends I have at this school. So maybe my brain isn't so shy after all? Anyway, I have the lecture class with her tomorrow and I should probably try to sit next her, right? We can't really speak during lecture, though. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 yay!!! i am super happy for you. i hope you continue this friendliness with her. Link to comment
velvette Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 if you can't speak during lecture, pass notes! that's always adorable. doodle funny stuff, if you're artistically inclined. that always gets them. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Right of way? She's a person. You're a person.... There is a lot to like about skinny guys who play video games. Link to comment
livingstan84 Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Right of way? She's a person. You're a person.... There is a lot to like about skinny guys who play video games. I totally agree. I think nerdy guys just get a bad rap because a lot of times that goes hand in hand with a lack of confidence. But if the confidence there, there's lots to like! Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I totally agree. I think nerdy guys just get a bad rap because a lot of times that goes hand in hand with a lack of confidence. But if the confidence there, there's lots to like! They really do just lose all confidence about it. I understand the stigma. Sometimes I think it's easier being a girl nerd because being a girl makes it 'hot' (just how girls with glasses has become a huge fetish). And then sometimes I think it's worse because I'm a girl and it's not as acceptable. I only date geeky guys. Geeky isn't a look, or a style, it's not a personality. Geeks don't have to be bad at dancing or athletically awkward. But they become that way because thy think that if they are geeky, they have to encompass the entire geek stereotype to be accepted by, at least, their fellow geek. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.