I fancy him, i think he fancies me - but he's married.

[nutbrownhare]

Ive quit my job. You were all right. He was an * * * * * * * . * * * * ing wanker tried to make me have sex with him. And called me a * * * * * for not putting out. I hate myself.

 

Im sorry to have upset anyone. What i stupid * * * * .

 

 

Don't beat yourself up over this. Really, really, you need to love yourself twice as much after this!

 

You haven't done anything - but this will sure as hell make you think twice if this situation ever crops up again. If we're lucky, we learn from others' mistakes, but sometimes we have to experience things first hand if we're really going to take them on board. Most of us, at some point, have lusted after someone who wasn't available; that's not a problem - it's what we do about it that could be.

 

Rather than hating yourself, give yourself a pat on the back for NOT putting out and allowing yourself to be used. Give yourself another pat on the back for having learned one of life's lessons. Now, take your time and find someone who can really love you and respect you - and don't sell yourself short.

 

(((HUGS)))

[lavenderdove]

Don't you see the contradiction in this? You want to save yourself for marriage, but you're lusting after a married man?

 

I think you are VERY confused, and are hugely missing the point... you end your post by saying you want to 'give him what his wife doesn't'... you have NO IDEA what she does and doesn't give him... and most married men are perfectly happy with their wives, just selfish and looking for some sexual variety or the thrill of a little nookie on the side. It's naive of you to think if his wife 'kept him satisfied' he wouldn't flirt with other women... most men who do this are in it for the emotional thrill and ego boost of having multiple women hot for them, and it has nothing to do with his sex life with his wife or any other woman.

 

And sorry to say sweetheart, but most men in their 40s aren't going to give it to you every day... most likely they're on Viagra a lot of the time just to be able to do it, and most of them don't 'do it' with their beautiful eyes, they just don't have the stamina of younger men. they're out specifically cruising for younger women to prove they've still got what it takes to ATTRACT a younger woman, but they may be a dud in bed. It's more about the ego than the sex when it comes to older men chasing younger women.

 

And it really sounds like you get off on the 'power' of taking a man away from his wife... that's more to do with YOUR ego and the thought that you're 'better' than his wife to be able to steal him from her.

 

I think you're very confused, and need some therapy to explore why this scenario with married men is so appealing to you. Odds of a successful long term relationship developing from an affair are VERY small so you're basically getting all stirred up for nothing.

[lavenderdove]

>>I dont have to worry about who he's calling, texting, going out with, because i know.

 

But you don't know because a guy who is married who is willing to lie and cheat on his wife will do the same to you. He may be pursuing multiple women, and cheating on and with all of them.

 

I'm sorry he disappointed you, but i think it goes with the territory... a man who is willing to lie to and cheat on his wife is not a good person, no matter how you slice it. And if he's in his 40s flirting with 20 year olds, he's also willing to use young naive women for his amusement and sexual gratification... another sign he is not a nice person.

 

Perhaps what you need to do is to learn the difference between charm and good character. Some of the most charming people on the planet are con men and sociopaths you know how to manipulate people in order to use them. I think your married guy was charming because he was trying to set you up for a sexual liaison, and when you didn't agree, he dropped the charm because it hadn't worked to manipulate with you. So his charm was just a tool he used to try to get you into bed. Most womanizers are like that, and you've learned the hard way, that charm and good looks don't mean that he's a good guy.

 

A good guy wouldn't chase you if he was married, and he would treat you with respect. He would be single, ask you on dates, not demand or force sex, be interested iin you as a person, treat you kindly etc. So you need to make sure that you understand what is important in a person and relationship, and 'beautiful eyes' and a good job don't make him a good guy or candidate for you if he is a lying, cheating, married man. His character is IMMEDIATELY suspect if he is married and flirting with lots of women.

 

So don't hate yourself, just recognize that you need to raise the bar on a guy's character. Married guys who scope out single women are not poor innocent victims of a bad marriage, they are dogs looking to take advantage of single women for sex and excitement, while lying and cheating on their wifes and families. You won't find happiness in a married man, just a lying dog who uses other people and doesn't care about the possibility of breaking someone else's heart, whether that is yours or his wife's or his childrens.

 

Married men who cheat tend to prey on very romantic women who have fantasies about love conquering all and their own love being more powerful and important than anything else in the world, and that there is only one true love for them that should overcome all obstacles. The problem is that those fantasies aren't true most of the time, and married men who cheat are just manipulating these romantic women because those fantasies make them vulnerable to believing a married man's lies that he will leave his wife (when he has no intention to do so).

 

So you need to start taking a much more critical look at any man you date to see if he has good character along with beautiful eyes etc., because he's just not worth having if he's a liar and a cheater and a user. And if he will lie to his wife, he will lie to you, guaranteed, because he is a liar and willing to hurt people to meet his selfish needs.

[superfox]

WOAH!!! ^

TMI literally

Grow up.

[lemonline]

Can this * * * * ing thread be * * * * ing deleted? this is a * * * * ing joke. I have put personal information on here and i wish it to be removed. I have never known a website where you cannot remove you OWN * * * * ing post. I was desperate and thought this would help. I have stupidly put information on here which relates to a court incedent and i am terrified of being tracked down. Please remove this thread.