Used to be a swinger, does that change?

[Marisa33]

My best friends new bf used to be a swinger, she is still keen on staying with him...i sorta don't understand her. So i got to thinking, can someone ever go back to being with just one person? He asked her if she was interested in being that way ever, an she said absolutley not. He said his last two gf's were swingers with him. I just don't get it, i do'nt think he's going to change. Do you think he was just saying this to her to sound cool? Eww gosh just thinking about it gross's me out.

[In the Dark]

She has to ask him really.

Can only go by his word.

[Jd1983]

Perhaps, he just wanted to be upfront and honest with her.

 

Only time can tell what happens from this point forward.

[BellaDonna]

new bf

 

He asked her if she was interested in being that way ever, an she said absolutley not. He said his last two gf's were swingers with him

 

 

IMO, if he is asking her if she would be up for that, THIS early in their relationship, it shows it was not a phase and it is still the sort of thing he'd want to do now and does not want sexual exclusivity. If she has no interest in it they are probably sexually imcompatible and it would only be a matter of time before it turns pear-shaped.

 

If she doesn't want to share a penis she should run.

[buddha55]

I don't agree with belladonna...

 

just like my partner might be into "golden showers" and I am not doesn't mean I wouldn't ever try it to make him happy... and it doesn't mean he wouldn't stop to appease me...

 

works both ways.

[WockaWocka]

IMO, if he is asking her if she would be up for that, THIS early in their relationship, it shows it was not a phase and it is still the sort of thing he'd want to do now and does not want sexual exclusivity. If she has no interest in it they are probably sexually incompatible and it would only be a matter of time before it turns pear-shaped.

 

I completely agree with this. If he's hooked on the lifestyle he may not be willing to be in a monogamous relationship and this will ultimately be a point of tension.

 

However, swinging is something normally done as a couple, so if she won't go along with it then he can't really participate. (My understanding is that single women are sometimes welcome at swingers parties but not single men.)

 

But if being a swinger is just his way of being a philanderer with his gf's permission then it probably won't stop just because he lacks permission.

 

Since she's your friend, I think it's ok to raise the concern once or twice, but after that you will probably have to drop it in order to continue the friendship. Unfortunately some people only learn from experience.

[hrtlsngl7]

IMO, if he is asking her if she would be up for that, THIS early in their relationship, it shows it was not a phase and it is still the sort of thing he'd want to do now and does not want sexual exclusivity. If she has no interest in it they are probably sexually imcompatible and it would only be a matter of time before it turns pear-shaped.

 

If she doesn't want to share a penis she should run.

 

LOL, his penis has already been share ALOT!!!

[LightbulbSun]

Yeah, I would be inclined to agree with BellaDonna. That "invitation" was not made in vain. He really wants her to swing with him.

[buddha55]

yeah maybe he does... but it doesn't mean he will do it without her.

[Marisa33]

so me an her talked today an she said he hasn't said anything about it since the initial conversation which leads her to believe he may have just been saying it to sound cool, but either way i guess only time will tell with him. so far he seems pretty together, other than that