Ex is overstepping the line

[calisurfer]

Okay long story short. My ex dumped me, cheated on me and moved in with his gf. This happened right around x-mas. We were together for over 1.5 years and FYI I'm gay so sorry if it freaks anyone out. I was shocked and I'm getting over it. Last week he sent me a txt asking if we could meet up and we'll spend the night together. I didn't reply. He called and left a v-mail, I sent him a txt saying to leave me alone and it's not appropriate for him to be calling me while he has a gf. I also saved that txt where he asked me to be his bottie call. Since then, five days ago I've been NC with him.

 

Fast forward to today. A little history before hand. We are both skydivers and worked at a windtunnel (freefall simulator). We worked together till he got fired over a year ago. I still work there. Well today he got a hold of me at work, yes he called my work and got a hold of me over the phone. He asked if I would be okay with him and his gf coming here to fly while I was working. I basically said I'm at work and I'll be professional and okay about it. What can I do. His reply was 'I dont want you to be okay. I want you to say something to me.' He was very emotional when he said this to me. Guys and girls I just want this guy out of my life. I don't want this drama in my life.

He's been very cruel to me during the break up and dont want him in my life.

 

What the hell is going on in his mind? Why would he bring his gf to the place his ex bf works at. All this a little over a month after the break up. I was shocked and a bit hurt, but after thinking about it I'm laughing right now. Deep down I'm starting to view him as a joke. But still pretty damn cruel to show up and flaunt your new relationship to your ex whom you dumped a month ago. Any advice? Any ideas why he would do this.

[petite]

He isn't satisfied with her. Keep with NC, don't talk to him and if they come to your work be professional, and just keep it professional. Does his girlfriend know you work there and that you're ex's? I doubt she would be comfortable with flying there while knowing her boyfriend's ex works there.

[Battle Wounds]

Wow, he sounds like an * * * * * * * .

 

I am guessing he is bisexual then? Does the gf know this?

 

I guess there's not much you can do, the courtesy call was nice before he showed up with her "un-announced"...but really, couldn't they go somewhere else for a date?

 

It sounds like maybe he is trying to get a reaction out of you, which is stupid, since he left you. Now he's having doubts about his current relationship and wants your validation.

 

He sounds selfish. Keep doing what you are doing- don't reply to his calls or texts, he is self-serving.

[calisurfer]

She knows I'm his ex, she also knows I work there. I really don't understand how she could be comfortable going there, but that's her problem. As to whats going on in her mind I really dont know. I guess she's as f-ed up as he is. All my girl friends, not gf, would never get near a guy who just dumped his ex. Let alone one who was in a same sex relationship for over a year. His sexual orientation really doesn't concern me anymore. Bi or gay, I just think he's confused. I just think it's f-ed up to show up and flaunt your new relationship and gf to your ex. That's just cruel, insensitive and selfish.

 

As to the courtesy call. It was an easy and non confrontational way to end NC in a diplomatic way. My uncle was a diplomat and always said "diplomacy is the art letting other people achieve your ends.' I'm back on NC. I didn't reach out him, he initiated breaking NC. NC after this little stunt of his will be much easier. I cant wait for Feb to roll around. Going to Bali on a surf trip with some friends for two weeks. Need a breather from all this and him.

[uhohlala]

He asked if I would be okay with him and his gf coming here to fly while I was working. I basically said I'm at work and I'll be professional and okay about it. What can I do. His reply was 'I dont want you to be okay. I want you to say something to me.' He was very emotional when he said this to me.

 

Seems pretty clear that he's not actually thinking of bringing his gf to your workplace. He admitted that he asked you that to get a rise out of you.

 

This guy's relationship status and his sexual orientation are irrelevant to the problem: he's a narcissist. He wants to keep you in orbit around him. It's not about love, it's not about being satisfied or unsatisfied with his current partner. He's a bottomless pit of discontent, always seeking to hook others and get them caught up in melodrama that centers on him and feeds his ego.