dconway8484 Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 So I've recently been in touch with an ex-girlfriend of mine, who broke up with me almost three years ago. We were together for about two and a half years. It really wasn't meant to be at the time, as I had yet to deal with a lot of personal issues, was moving away to go to graduate school, and in the process of not taking care of myself neglected her. She left me for someone else, and looking back on it, regardless of how it happened it was best for both of us (definitely for me and my own self-improvement) at the time. I recently broke up with my girlfriend of a year and half, and in the process of reflection I decided to call her and ask her for her address so I could send something of hers that I had kept out of spite. Well, we talked for a bit, but she was with friends so I told her she could just e-mail me her address and I'd send it off. She asked if we could catch up some more and I said sure. Well we have been e-mailing back and forth a bit, an example of which she said how much her parents always liked me and were happy to hear from me (I told her to tell them merry christmas), and she is being very friendly, but no indication that she is interested. I found out she still has the same boyfriend so i backed off a bit but I noticed that through our correspondence some of my feelings have come back for her (which I thought were gone). I don't want to cause any drama for her by meeting up, which she said she wanted to, and if she is happy with her bf and is going to marry him than I would happily offer my congratulations, etc. I have changed a lot since we dated, and if I ever had a second chance with her I think it would be great as I think we connected on a very personal level despite how young we were, but I'm not pinning my hopes on it. Anyways, what would you do? I would really like to be friends with her, at the very least, but I'm not sure I want to inject myself into this situation. Do you think I only have feelings coming back because my relationship ended? I'm really not sure how I feel, so any advice would be appreciated. Link to comment
lana111 Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 ohhhhhhh. this is a hard one. there is nothing wrong with being friendly again... except that you really may have feelings for her and what if she doesnt feel the same (plus the whole bf thing haha). remain in contact for now. dont go there unless she does or ends up single. i mean, timing really plays a big part on good relationships turning into more, but you dont want to be the guy who pushed for someone in a relationship. good luck! Link to comment
dconway8484 Posted January 18, 2011 Author Share Posted January 18, 2011 The e-mails I sent were all very friendly although in the last one I did tell her that I wanted to meet up with her but I didn't want to cause any drama for her. And I told her that her facebook profile pic was cute. Even if nothing happens out of this, I'll be cool with it. Guess I just really want to see her to determine whether I have any feelings for her or if I'm just putting her on a pedastal because I went through a breakup. Link to comment
getupkid82 Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 i know exactly where you're coming from. feel free to read any of my threads. i'm in a similar type situation at the minute. my ex has a fella. it is nice to hang out with her again as i'm sure it would be for you. did you ever really get over your ex or was your previous relationship a rebound? for me in my case i know i never really got over her. take it slow and hang out if you want. you really never know what she's feeling or will feel when you two get together. good luck. Link to comment
dconway8484 Posted January 19, 2011 Author Share Posted January 19, 2011 Actually I thought I was entirely over her. I waited about 6 months, had a two month fling, waited another 6 months and met a girl that I was with for a year and a half, who I loved, but we weren't good for each other. Didn't really have any feelings for her whatsoever during my last relationship. But now since the break-up and talking with her I've been thinking about her again. Not sure if I will end up hanging out with her, probably going to move again after grad school and I kind of already let my feelings be known. Oh well, in her hands now. Link to comment
dconway8484 Posted January 19, 2011 Author Share Posted January 19, 2011 I should also have mentioned that we were in a LDR for pretty much our entire relationship after the first 6 months. Not super far away, but enough to make it hard. I would appreciate any additional advice! Link to comment
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