need help badly

[helpless maybe]

Hey all - I've always been able to handle things fairly well with girls, but an xfiancee of mine has really thrown my game for a loop. In short, we went out from about 1999 - late 2001. In that time we had a child, and have since shared custodey each week. ive had a few girlfriends, and she's had a few boyfriends. Most recenty she dated a guy for about 1 year. Nice guy, but about 6 months ago they had broke up , and she immediatley called me to say that she loved me, and that she always knew that i was the one for her. aT the time i was single, so i gave it another chance. But 1 week into it, she was having second thoughts about what she wanted. she would say she wanted to be single blah blah blah.... hang with friends blah blah... so we mutually decided that when she was ready to "settle down", we would try to work it out. 2 weeks later she was back with her x, and living together. Fine with me, i was fine with that. now 6 months later( last week) her boyfriend asked her to marry him, she said no, and they have broken up and he's moved out. now since last week when he moved out i notice my phone conversations with her, usually professional, getting more friendly than usual. Also, a few days ago i went over there to pick up my child, and we were kinda flirting with each other(EXAMPLE = I asked to see her new breast enhancment, not implants, and she showed me! That did me in right there). NOW finally to my issue. I got wasted the other night with friends at the bar, and ofcourse i wanted so bad to call her and spill my guts about wanting her so bad. But i didnt. I figured she would call me to chat/flirt, but she hasnt. What the hell should i do? In the past when she's single i always let her know how i feel about her, and seems like she uses that to her advantage( knowing ill always take her back). now again today she's single, and i get this feeling that i should try to let her know again. OR SHOULD I?(it didnt do me any good in the past). I'm afriad that if i dont let her know , she might move onto another boyfriend, and i wouldve been left behind. But on the other hand, im sure she knows how i feel about her. what do i do to get her back? or what should i do period? I cant believe that after almost 3 years i still think about her constantly!!! PLZZZZZZZZ HELP!

[paul475]

This is the kind of relationship I avoid like the plague because I have a tendency to become addicted to just about anything. It's like someone dangling candy in front of a diabetic who is jonesing for sugar. It's cruel, but it is effective.

 

If I'm correct, she could well be up for a transfer of custody back to you in order to enable this "growth," she needs to settle down. If you present it correctly, she could walk right into it. She needs to be REALLY alone and undistracted by a child and anyone other than herself because that's where the problem actually lies for her. It's what's best for everyone concerned in this case.

 

If she doesn't go for it, she's most likely gaming you. If it goes on for much longer, it's just a sick and despicable game because it means she's using a precious child to keep you on the hook while she searches for, "the better deal." Piss on that noise. A child needs stability and raising one at your age grows character.

 

Quit sprinkling faery dust on her memory and learn to look INSIDE a woman before you let yourself get carried away in your own fantasies.

It will save you time, heartache and a ton of money.