anon_a_mouse Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Ladies, if you're dating a guy in his late 20s, things are going ok, and you both decide you're going to sleep together .. how would you reaction if the guy admits that he hasn't had much experience, and is near a novice (only having had sex 2 times) - would you be disappointed, shocked .. what kind of reaction would you have? (I would say this hypothetical but it's my situation!) and would you want to be told? (or just work this out anyway?) Link to comment
asthesparrow Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I personally would be really, incredibly excited to blow his mind. And yes - I would really appreciate being told. There's nothing sexier than showing someone your favourite moves Link to comment
Tyra Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I would wonder why he's only had sex twice....some things are better left unsaid until the trust is there. Link to comment
lana111 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 i would be pretty shocked, but i really wouldnt think any differently. i mean, i would, but not in a bad or a good way. its just that when you meet people you just assume certain things and i would not assume that with a 28 yr old guy. just like if you met someone and found out that they are a parent, but you had the idea/assumption in your head that they werent, you would look at them differently. does that make sense? i dont think id WANT to be told, but i wouldnt mind either way... Link to comment
preciousgirl82 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Look on the bright side, he may have less experience but hopefully that also means he's less likely to have any diseases. Turn him out...have fun and learn together. Sex is an ongoing learning experience and he may appreciate you teaching him a thing or two. Im sure you'll enjoy the process too! Link to comment
Stay_home Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I don't see why this would be an issue, now you can train him the way you want him to be trained. Link to comment
nikkinoodles Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Being a virgin, I would be relieved that I wasnt too inexperienced for him. we could learn together. Though I heard once before that all first times are awkward with someone new, you just learn together. Link to comment
LightbulbSun Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I know this was aimed at the ladies, but as a male virgin your age who has never done anything with a girl, I'd like to offer my advice: Don't let it bother you. In fact, don't even tell her the first time. If you're confident, and willing to learn, she will not recognize that you're inexperienced...and if she does, SHE will be the one to bring it up, in which case you can tell her. Hope this helps. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Why do you even need to tell her anything? It is none of her business. Even sexperts may not know how to please and may mess up the first time they sleep with a new person. Don't be ashamed of your lack of experience and therefore feel the need to explain yourself. Promiscuous men don't feel the need to explain themselves and are not ashamed of having had their penis everywhere to possibly pick up diseases so why should you feel the need to explain yourself. All you will get is either women turning up their nose at you thinking they are superior for having banged a lot more men...or you will get women who will have a patronizing superior egocentric attitude by thinking they can now be your sex ed teacher rather than a true equal partner. Link to comment
anon_a_mouse Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 Look on the bright side, he may have less experience but hopefully that also means he's less likely to have any diseases. Turn him out...have fun and learn together. Sex is an ongoing learning experience and he may appreciate you teaching him a thing or two. Im sure you'll enjoy the process too! I should point out that I'm the guy, not the girl! just to clear up any confusion there Link to comment
anon_a_mouse Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 Why do you even need to tell her anything? It is none of her business. Even sexperts may not know how to please and may mess up the first time they sleep with a new person. Don't be ashamed of your lack of experience and therefore feel the need to explain yourself. Promiscuous men don't feel the need to explain themselves and are not ashamed of having had their penis everywhere to possibly pick up diseases so why should you feel the need to explain yourself. All you will get is either women turning up their nose at you thinking they are superior for having banged a lot more men...or you will get women who will have a patronizing superior egocentric attitude by thinking they can now be your sex ed teacher rather than a true equal partner. Interesting, but I don't think this person would turn their nose up at me, nor would they get big-headed... though I wouldn't mind being treated like a pupil. Link to comment
anon_a_mouse Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 I know this was aimed at the ladies, but as a male virgin your age who has never done anything with a girl, I'd like to offer my advice: Don't let it bother you. In fact, don't even tell her the first time. If you're confident, and willing to learn, she will not recognize that you're inexperienced...and if she does, SHE will be the one to bring it up, in which case you can tell her. Hope this helps. Yea, if I wasn't to say anything - she might recognize anyway - or sense a lack of confidence .. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 There is never an instance in life when you should announce that you don't know what you're doing, or that you're worried that you don't know what you're doing. Just let nature do its work. If the chemistry is there, any initial awkwardness or fumbling will disappear quickly, in my opinion. People figure it out when they're sixteen, so I think you can probably figure it out, too. Amount of experience doesn't mean much. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Yea, if I wasn't to say anything - she might recognize anyway - or sense a lack of confidence .. So what if she thinks something? Either she will be mature enough to let you know how she likes things, or not. If the relationship is solid then I think she would certainly be willing to work on anything that needs improvement, as long as you are not defensive about it and open to suggestion. It doesn't have to be a big deal unless you make it one. Link to comment
amandamarie Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 You know what OP? I use to worry about this too because I was a little older than most of the girls I knew when I lost my virginity. The truth is, if it is a person who really cares about you and the relationship, it will not matter one bit. Don't stress yourself out over this because it isn't worth it. I think in circumstances like this though it is best to wait and break the news, and best to wait and have sex, when you have established a foundation of trust between the two people...mainly for your own comfort. I would not have a problem with this at all (and I am 29 btw). Link to comment
anon_a_mouse Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 .. Amount of experience doesn't mean much. That's good to know Link to comment
anon_a_mouse Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 ..I think in circumstances like this though it is best to wait and break the news, and best to wait and have sex, when you have established a foundation of trust between the two people...mainly for your own comfort. I would not have a problem with this at all (and I am 29 btw). Do you mean break the news after you've first had sex? Link to comment
Scott12 Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Ladies, if you're dating a guy in his late 20s, things are going ok, and you both decide you're going to sleep together .. how would you reaction if the guy admits that he hasn't had much experience, and is near a novice (only having had sex 2 times) - would you be disappointed, shocked .. what kind of reaction would you have? (I would say this hypothetical but it's my situation!) and would you want to be told? (or just work this out anyway?) I'd say it depends on what your intentions are. Are you just looking to get laid, or are you wanting a serious relationship? If you're just looking to get laid or looking for some experience, I wouldn't say anything because it possibly could scare them off. If you're wanting a serious relationship, I'd tell them, because then you will have an indication of their intentions toward you judging by their reaction. Scott Link to comment
amandamarie Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Do you mean break the news after you've first had sex? No that isn't what I mean at all. I meant maybe wait to have sex until you feel comfortable breaking the news. I just think you would be a lot more relaxed and comfortable that way and enjoy the experience more. I just know that worked well for me, because at that point I had trust with the person and new they would be patient and understanding with me. However, I also tend to agree with what Scott12 said...it does kind of depend as well on whether you want a real relationship with the person or are just looking for fun. Link to comment
sweetpea03 Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 I meant maybe wait to have sex until you feel comfortable breaking the news. I just think you would be a lot more relaxed and comfortable that way and enjoy the experience more. I just know that worked well for me, because at that point I had trust with the person and new they would be patient and understanding with me. However, I also tend to agree with what Scott12 said...it does kind of depend as well on whether you want a real relationship with the person or are just looking for fun. I agree with this... I'm one to wait to have sex, so if he was looking for a real relationship and also told me he didn't have much experience, then I'd be happy. I'd be glad he didn't sleep around and trusted me enough to tell me about his past. Link to comment
Starrgrl Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Honestly, I'd be turned off. I mean late 20's and that inexperienced?? (unless he's religious) it's just alittle wt f. Link to comment
anon_a_mouse Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 Honestly, I'd be turned off. I mean late 20's and that inexperienced?? (unless he's religious) it's just alittle wt f. Hehe, my original post might have been unclear (or poorly written) as it seems like I've come accross as a girl describing dating a guy, but I am the guy instead! .. and this is evidenced by your post and alby10's post. So yeah - there are reasons for being so inexperienced, not religious, but without getting into that in this thread - anyone has to live with where they are in the present and go forward from there ... and yes - this person I'm seeing might no longer have interest in me ... but I highly doubt this .. some people will be happy to ask questions and understand why.... it's ok to have had a confidence issues in the past but in the present you've overcome them.. anyone who isn't willing to even ask questions why being writing me off, I'm not interested in dating anyway. Link to comment
iwishiknew Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 I'm 32 and still a virgin..I know it would be a major turn off for a lot of girls. Link to comment
anon_a_mouse Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 I'm 32 and still a virgin..I know it would be a major turn off for a lot of girls. Do you know that for a fact? maybe some would but some wouldn't.. Link to comment
sweetpea03 Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 I'm 32 and still a virgin..I know it would be a major turn off for a lot of girls. Not all girls... I would not find it a turn off. Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.