He's Back, and I am miserable

[alona125]

Ok, I posted before about the man I was seeing meeting up with this girl in Italy/Paris. I was so confused, and still am about his itinerary because he keeps saying she will be in Italy, then in Paris, but never one straight story.

 

Well, to sum it up, he came back and told me straight out that he was in Italy alone, and that he only met her in Paris for a day or two, and they just talked. He swears that he is not attracted to her sexually, and he was honest and said it is more emotional. (by the way, i am 21 and he is 32, so he may not feel I can give him what he needs emotionally)

 

I know he is lying for a # of reasons, but that is really not my issue right now.

 

He has been treating me different, acknowledging that what he did was wrong, but it seems as if he treats me with less respect now even considering what I just went through because of him. I have been miserable these past two weeks because of him.

 

My question to all of you is when he is saying he is not ready to commit, to ANYONE right now, and our relationship is all arguments, how do I just cut it off and keep it that way? I know a lot of you have been through this, but I need to know an effective way to just say goodbye, and leave it at that. I don't know why it is so hard for me.

 

Even though he is treating me bad, and I no longer see a future w us, I keep falling for his excuses and looking on how we used to be. Please help, I need to get out and I am being stubborn.

[fantasia2004]

If you really feel that this is not working and he refuses to give you a definite answer of where this is heading as far as your relationship goes.

 

Be direct and tell him how you feel. If it isw not working out say it and stick with it the decision and don't back down!

 

You will feel better once you get it off your chest.

[kuhl282000]

Hello

 

Sounds like a lie to me. Do you want to be with someone that makes you feel that you always have to worry about him being with someone else. That would be something that could end up driving you crazy.

 

Good Luck, I think you will need it with this guy.

 

 

Kuhl

 

8)

[birdgirl]

Tell all your friends and family how he's been treating you. They should encourage you to leave. The only reason I am not going back with mine is because I have so much support. It's hard.

[hurtbylove]

Tell all your friends and family how he's been treating you. They should encourage you to leave. The only reason I am not going back with mine is because I have so much support. It's hard.

 

I don't know how good of an idea it is to tell that to your friends and family.

 

It will burn all your bridges with him. It's really unfair to him if it turns out to not be the case that he is "cheating". Don't bring unnecessary people into this if possible.

 

Even if he is, then just end it. Don't make an enemy out of him.

[ImfeelingBlue]

Hey alona,

 

Here's my little 2 cents...I know what its like to keep going back to someone cause you love them..and it may be as if you love them more than yourself..sometimes though...if you aren't bein respected or you are unhappy, love yourself enough to say goodbye to hurt. If you feel there is nothing there, be real with yourself and keep tellin yourself that you simply cannot hang around anymore. You deserve so so much. Trust your heart as well as your mind even though they may conflict sometimes. I know it might hurt you even more to read this but maybe he isn't ready to commit because he isn't a one woman man at the moment..there are a lot of people out there ready for your love..Don't be selfish =0)..One day he might look back and realize a big dumb idiotic mistake for droppin a blessing like you.Just my opinion...Take Care and let me kno what happens. Love.

[ImfeelingBlue]

Time heals all wounds..Love.

[birdgirl]

Maybe it's not a good idea to tell your friends and family. That's what I did, and while that makes it almost impossible for me to get back with my ex, I have all the support I need as far as moving on. And I need to move on. We can not get back together, as he's NOT good for me. When my mind plays tricks on me and tells me that I want him back, all I have to do is talk to my mom or best friend and they remind me of why I need to move on. I couldn't do it on my own, but I NEED to do it, and my support system has been amazing at helping me see why I need to move on.

[alona125]

Thank-you all for your posts!

 

ImFeelingBlue, you are right to say that he is not ready to commit. He said he will be ready in the future, just not right now. He says he doesn't want to lose me, and he doesn't want us to argue anymore, so we have decided to not be committed, and see what happens. We are just taking it slow, and not being exclusive. Who knows, maybe he won't like the fact that I will be seeing other people while i am with him, and he will decide he wants to commit.

 

We will still see each other, just not in a committed relationship. This may be hard, but honestly it is a huge weight off me not having to really worry if he is with someone else or not when I am not with him. It still bothers me, just not as much. Who knows, it may be that neither of us are ready to be in a "committed relationship" yet, and we could be together in the near future. We need to stop arguing first and foremost, so that is what we are working on now.