InaDaze87 Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 Im in a situation right now as I type this that is critical. My gf and I broke up over 2 months ago. She still has my heart and I know she still cares for me as well to the point where we could get back together later(don't know how long later is away tho). However we are broken up. The problem is I havent seen her since labor day nor have I been sexually active since then but an old ex just popped back up about a month ago and we are this (holds thumb and index finger inch apart) close to having sex because of all this sexual tension between us and our SO's (her SO is lives away as well) are not here for that type of thing. We dont have any harboring feelings for one another just horny and lonely I guess!!! Anyway has anybody ever been in this situation and if so what did you do??? Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 If shes seeing someone its a no go area. Im confused, so you've split up with you recent ex, so your single? and a past ex wants to have sex with you and shes in a relationship? Link to comment
ForumGuy Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 If you can live with yourselves afterward....and you can keep it between yourselves....I say go for it. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 Im not here to make a moral judgment as to what you should do. As an adult you can make the determination if you want to give into the sexual tension or not. I think that you should be cognizant of the fact that she does have a bf so just keep that in mind when you make your decision. Link to comment
InaDaze87 Posted December 2, 2010 Author Share Posted December 2, 2010 If shes seeing someone its a no go area. Im confused, so you've split up with you recent ex, so your single? and a past ex wants to have sex with you and shes in a relationship? Yes technically speaking I am single and split with my ex although my heart is still with her and we care about each other dearly. We were together 2 years and never an issue with infidelity, never even once cross my mind or hers(at least that's what she said). As far as my past ex...well she has been seeing this guy for 2 years but he's not ready to make it official with them. Sooo technically she is single as well...they just do everything a couple would do (dates, weekend getaways, i love u's the whole nine). And she love's this guy the way I still love my ex! Link to comment
22n32 Posted December 2, 2010 Share Posted December 2, 2010 Yes technically speaking I am single and split with my ex although my heart is still with her and we care about each other dearly. We were together 2 years and never an issue with infidelity, never even once cross my mind or hers(at least that's what she said). As far as my past ex...well she has been seeing this guy for 2 years but he's not ready to make it official with them. Sooo technically she is single as well...they just do everything a couple would do (dates, weekend getaways, i love u's the whole nine). And she love's this guy the way I still love my ex! Official or not sounds like there a couple. So she would be cheating if she were to do anything with u! Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted December 3, 2010 Share Posted December 3, 2010 I would say that you should go no contact with this particular ex so that you don't give in to the sexual tension. She has a boyfriend and she is still with him no matter what the status is...so she is off limits. What exactly is the understanding with the one you are still in love with? Who broke up with whom and why? Link to comment
InaDaze87 Posted December 3, 2010 Author Share Posted December 3, 2010 I would say that you should go no contact with this particular ex so that you don't give in to the sexual tension. She has a boyfriend and she is still with him no matter what the status is...so she is off limits. What exactly is the understanding with the one you are still in love with? Who broke up with whom and why? This is a link to a previous thread I started. It pretty much explains our break up in a short description since she and I have finally been able to have a normal convo as to what all went on for the breakup to happen with out all the blaming and finger pointing. This convo took place just last week over thanksgiving break because she finally had time from law school to address the issues... ......... Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted December 3, 2010 Share Posted December 3, 2010 Okay, so you are a free agent as the woman you love doesn't want a relationship with you. Jumping into bed with an ex who has a boyfriend is probably going to make your emotions worse, not better. So you have an orgasm with this ex..what then...another romp, then another one, then another one...then over Christmas she has a few romps with her boyfriend then comes back to you and has a few more romps with you...then a few romps with her boyfriend...then maybe a few romps with the pizza deliver guy. Do you really want to have sex with someone who is willing to cheat on her boyfriend. If she has fed you a line that they are not official, then I would hazard a guess that she has probably had sex with other men as well. Do you really want to take the chance with your health? Link to comment
InaDaze87 Posted December 3, 2010 Author Share Posted December 3, 2010 I completely understand where you are coming from here. That's another reason I'm torn. I know even though she says they arent official that they are. Not that I think she is lying about it, I just know if they do all those things together that they are really together no matter what he or she says. She was my high school sweet heart and we dated for 4 years and broke up in college mainly cause I loved her but couldn't see a future with her anymore. More less we grew apart!! But she isnt or wasnt that type of girl when we were together. As far as my recent gf/ex..that's completely up in the air. And it's her decision as to where our relationship goes from here. I do know that she would be hurt and upset about me being with someone else sexually or emotionally even though she wouldn't admit it...just like I would be hurt if she were to do the same. Although I have expressed all of my feelings and emotions to her on many separate occasions. Link to comment
Nerdyjock Posted December 3, 2010 Share Posted December 3, 2010 Obviously you have some part of you which feels it is wrong or you wouldn't be asking. Just think about the pros and the cons. Would doing it have negative consequences for you? If so, would they be worse than the good you get out of it? I obviously have moral opinions on the issue but you aren't asking for those - and I am not one to give biased advice 24/7. You are the one who has to live with your choices, not us, so it really just boils down to weighing the pros and the cons. One more tidbit, just because sexual tension exists doesn't mean it has to be pursued. I wanted a candy bar at the gas station today but I couldn't afford it, so I just did without. Humans are fortunate to be gifted with wisdom - we can premeditate consequences better than any other animal on the planet. Use your wisdom to figure it out Link to comment
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