My Fiance and Facebook is Driving me CRAZY!! Please Help

[ut804]

well.. all i can say is that I check up on ex's profiles and see what girls they become friends with is because I'm jealous and still have some feelings for the guy. when I don't have any feelings for a guy, I couldn't care less who he becomes friends with. it would be weird and not make any sense to click on random girl's profiles just out of curiosity. that does not make sense.

 

just keep an eye out. if she continues to visit his site and check out every girl then she MUST have feelings for the guy. no excuses.

[soporcogitavi]

Ok, I just want to clarify, she does not check every single girl he becomes friends with, my belief, is that if she sees it one the news feed she checks, I know I have seen her to do this with other friends as well, example when her cousin became friends with a guy she checked that out, and she'll often check pictures and updates of people she never speaks with. I think maybe she's just obssesed with facebook a little, do you not think that may be possible?

 

Also, im not trying to defend anything her, but just wanted to add she does not go everyday, from this recent time, she had check pics, next day his profile, then nothing for 2 days, the checked a girl he became friends with, then nothing again for 2 days, then again she checked another girl he became friends with.

 

The one thing that doesnt make sense is that she dated this guy over 1 year ago, and only saw him 3 times, is it possible you can still have feelings for someone, they dont speak or chat

[ut804]

how do you know they don't speak or chat? a private chat would not show up in your browser history (I don't think).

 

they no longer see each other so it's different than seeing who a friend becomes friends with. it's not like she's checking to see if she could know this girl and to add her as a friend.

 

yes, you can still have feelings for someone a year later (or more). I became friends with a crush on facebook. didn't see him for a few years and I still check his site and have feelings for him. then there's my ex from 7 years ago. i still have some feelings for him and will check up on him and what he's doing.

 

then I have an ex from last year. he's on my facebook but I don't have any feelings for him. And I never check his site or who he becomes friends with because I don't care.

 

I guess everyone is different, all I'm saying is that when I check out an ex's page a few times and check to see some girls he becomes friends with is ONLY because i still have feelings for him. If I don't have feelings for an ex, I don't visit his page and certainly do not give a crap about who he becomes friends with.

 

so.. it's your call. like i said, just keep an eye out. if she continues to check his site and female friends then i would really believe she still has feelings for him. if she stops this behavior then it's fine. i mean it's not cheating so i wouldn't break up with her over it, but i would think she still has a little feelings for him.

[soporcogitavi]

how do you know they don't speak or chat? a private chat would not show up in your browser history (I don't think).

 

yes, you can still have feelings for someone a year later (or more). I became friends with a crush on facebook. didn't see him for a few years and I still check his site and have feelings for him. then there's my ex from 7 years ago. i still have some feelings for him and will check up on him and what he's doing.

 

then I have an ex from last year. he's on my facebook but I don't have any feelings for him. And I never check his site or who he becomes friends with because I don't care.

 

.

 

Well I know they dont chat because when she tells me they dont chat, I believe her.

 

But from what you're telling me here, and please dont take this the wrong way, it seems you had feelings for more then one person at a time, while you were in a relationship with someone. How is that possible?

[ut804]

you can have feelings for more than one person, of course it is possible. (look at how many people cheat).

 

it's just not so much that she looks at his site, it's the checking to see who he becomes friends with that i think is a little weird, and the fact that you said something about he being different than all her exes.

 

but just let it be for now, just look to see if it continues or if anything else happens.

[hers]

B/c you say she checks the pages of other people and who they're friends with too, that's not alarming at all. It could just be that she's really into facebook. I'm the same way...i look at EVERYTHING on facebook. Ooh, this says we have 12 mutual friends? Who is this? I'm gonna check them out. Oh their profile pic has them at their wedding. I'm gonna look through their wedding pics. Oh they also have a baby. I'm gonna look at their baby pics.

 

There are people I know ALL about but have never met them once in my life. Creepy? Sure. But that's social networking for you.

[ut804]

i mean you said it yourself in your original post. If this is making you uncomfortable then she should cut down on looking at it. you wouldn't be asking for much. im not saying delete him, but she shouldn't be looking at his site a few times a week and checking to see what girls he becomes friends with. she shouldn't care what he does or who he becomes friends with. he's in the past and she just needs to stop staring at his pics and friends.

[soporcogitavi]

That's not something I can control, or make sure she does or doesn't do, how am I supposed to know everytime she looks, and I don't want to feel I have to check up on her. Her thinking is that she would look at anyones pics. I would personally delete and ex or girl I dated because its not necessary for me to have contact, but that's me and I know she's more open to stuff like that then I am.

[hers]

Dont check up on her. B/c then youre going to have a resentment built toward her if she keeps doing what she's doing.