Tips for breaking the ice

[Celadon]

Hi there,

 

I'm interested in hearing some tips for breaking the ice with total strangers, in situations where people could easily just not talk to each other. Some instances include: in line (at theatre, grocery store), on an airplane, standing on the street corner.

 

I think these are all good opportunities to connect with people, but I feel inhibited because I'm not certain what the steps to "success" are... and I don't want to make the situation awkward.

 

Ideas, anyone?

 

I'll throw one out: It's probably best to make eye contact before speaking, otherwise you'll catch the other person by surprise.

[drydupfob]

pretend that there is no ice and just act normal, i dont think there should be stratagies into talking to people. Dont think just do.

[hurtbylove]

That's easy enough, common ice breakers at the grocery store.

 

Look at what they are buying and maybe talk about one of the items. Hopefully not condoms or pads/tampons hopefully.

 

At an airport/ bus stop, ask about their destination and what they are going to do there. Then you can ask where they are from and it opens up from there.

 

Street corner.. why would someone be standing there, I think it's harder. They could be waiting for someone. If a guy approached a girl on the street it could be difficult since streets are perceived as "danger area" especially at night. Usually someone walking on the street knows where they are going.

 

If they are tourists and look lost and you know something, help 'em out.

 

Most of the time people will be surprised. Strangers don't talk to each other. Of course this is dependent on the culture, what city you are in, type of person they are. But most of the time it is a shock.

[CarterJonas]

Hi katie,

 

I've always thought that the only place to meet prople of the opposite sex was at bars or nightclubs, after having one or two drinks to help the confidence

 

Anyway it is possible to meet new prople when queing for something as you say.

 

Being friendly, confident (act it if you are not) and being humorous go a long way in achieving this.

 

The first thing to do is make sure you have their attention...eye contact, and that you seem approachable....smile. If you don't then it probably isn't worth bothering.

 

Then ask them something about the situation you are in. i.e if you are standing in a que for a cinema (multiplex), ask them if this is the que for the film you are seeing.

 

Other ways would be to to compliment someone, I like your top... or even ask them for the time (hiding your wrist watch of course), or even to ask them what time the film or performance starts.

 

just a few ideas

[ComputerGuy]

When I'm talking to people I don't know whether it be someone I'm attracted to or I just feel like talking and someone happens to be there, I just say like "Hey how's it going", and based on there response say something like "It's a bit like that isn't it, I know the feeling" or "Yeah, good to hear" or whatever, I just keep it light, casual and informal. If conversation picks up, then it's easy to just go where the convo does, if not, I said hi, and if I see them on the street again will probably give another informal hi as I go past. so at least I've met someone new. Anyway, good luck

[Celadon]

Thanks for the ideas, everyone! They make a lot of sense, especially commenting on the situation or whatever is logically brought that person to that place. And I appreciate the reminder that sometimes genuine friendliness is all it takes to open the door.

 

Just today, I chatted with someone in a music CD store, because I couldn't find what I was looking for and he happened to be standing there. I have to say, it just felt good to share a smile and a little chat with another person.

 

Thanks again!

[ComputerGuy]

Good to hear

[Purple Monkey]

It's all too easy to break the ice, for me it's been about timing.

 

Man it's tough.

 

I'd just avoid trying to talk to a girl that's surrounded by her friends altogether, that's just asking for trouble. Even if the girl is interested at all, her friends could influence her (maybe by one of them being jealous, or just plain nasty).

 

Talk to girls who are alone I guess, because at least you'll be getting THEIR opinions and not have them influenced by peer pressure. It's hard considerring girls seem to travel EVERYWHERE together, and some seem to be joined at the hip.

 

I always try and keep it so that if there's 2 of us (me and a friend) we only talk to/flirt with 2 other girls. I hate excluding people like that. If it's just me, I only bother talking to someone else who is alone. It feels less intimidating for both parties I guess. 2 on 1 situations for me have never felt comfortable, and many of my friends have also said this.

[dishthefish]

u say hi ..ur name ..introduce urself properly n take her name most of the time.........

"How was your day?"

 

"You look really nice, where did you get (item in question)?"

 

"How was work?"

 

If you are in their home comment on an ornament or a piece of furniture.

 

"Have you seen any good movies recently? How did you like it/them?"

 

"What kind of music do you listen to?"

 

Ask if they saw a interesting TV program.

 

"What sports do you play or like? How long have you played (sport in question)?"

 

"What did you do this weekend (week)?"

 

"Have you been to (a local restaurant)?"

 

"What kind of food do you like?"

 

"Where are you from?"

 

"Where did you go to school/college?"

 

"Have you read any good books lately? Was it/them interesting?"

 

"What do you normally do for fun?"

 

"Do you like (an interest of yours)?"

 

These will get the conversation going and you will find out what the other person is interested in. Then you'll know if you have anything in common.

 

welll...evry one is free to im meee

[1899]

I know at the grocery store, sometimes if the line is too long and I have something like Ice cream, ill look at the person behind me and say, Looks like im going to need to get another ice cream before i even get out the door! That makes people laugh.

[jurupa]

When I talk to strangers I use whats going on in the environment around me and the other person. This usually does the trick on breaking the ice or start a conversation.

[Celadon]

I know at the grocery store, sometimes if the line is too long and I have something like Ice cream, ill look at the person behind me and say, Looks like im going to need to get another ice cream before i even get out the door! That makes people laugh.

 

That IS pretty funny!

 

I seem to ask a lot of questions, because I've felt it's the most reliable way to start a conversation. But I'd love to start a conversation with just talking. Sometimes I've felt like what I say just goes out there, hangs in the air and plops on the ground. The other person doesn't continue it; that's when it's embarrassing!

[mamamaria]

hey i agree with drydupfob?...there arent really strategies, try and stop worrying would be my only advice..be yourself, if you say something stupid the chances are youll never see them again anyway, or they'll think its funny. 'dont think, just do'

-marie

[Noggy27]

humour is the best ice breaker in my opinion. Even if its daft made up on the spot jovial comments Like "hey! I wouldnt get in that taxi mate. It's got a tampon advert stuck on it" or something daft like that. Even though what you say may not be that funny people will still realise you are trying to have what the Scottish call "friendly banter" with them. They will almost guaranteed smile, and if they don't well then maybe their dog died or something. Don't worry about it. Be careful what you joke about though. Just keep it light and pointless.

[Santa]

"How much does a polar bear weigh?" "Well it's enough to break the ice!" - S4il

[Celadon]

Even though what you say may not be that funny people will still realise you are trying to have what the Scottish call "friendly banter" with them.

 

Good point, Noggy. I like the idea of friendly banter. Sounds like it's the intention that counts, not how perfectly you do it.