x back in picture maybe

[lifeissocruel]

hey guys, i am just want some adivce or something

 

my x gf and i have been dateing for 4 years, we broke up once before because i was confused and wanted to expirnces something.

 

my x and i broke up in march cause she was confused and had questions.

needing to find herself, we spent soo much time fighting over nothing and she was working too much and was tired all the time and it got frushtrating.

 

we end up talking again and become friends again.

her x doesnt like this and she doesnt really care because we are just friends.

 

shes been having problems with her boyfriend since then.

shes says he accuses her cheatin on him with me and we havnt seen each other in months.

shes been a wreck cause the guy doesnt trust her cause of his passed relationships.

 

her bf and her fight over this contuneusly. she sad cause her bf wont trust her and that she is diffrent from his x's.

he goes through all her stuff to see what shes been up.

 

so this continues awhile and she comes to say good bye to me cause i am leaving for the military. he doesnt like that and he says i dont want you to ever see him again. which my x doesnt like cause we are best friends and weve been through alot together.

 

 

we end up talking on the net and her wanting to see me again and tells me since her mind is set that she still loves me and alot of her feelings come out.

 

she says she would like to see me again before i go so we end up going to the movies the fallowing day and afterwards we go to the park and talked for a few hours.

we held each other and she broke down again and said she made a mistake and shes sorry that she hurt me. i told her thati did the samething to her before. but she wouldnt hear any of it.

she said i love you still and of course i replied back.

 

we end up going back home and talked somemore and kissed each other.

 

i dunno what to think and i am sorry if its long. i do love this girl and we both agreed we cant get together yet. but what do you think i should do?

was it right for me to kiss her? i dunno i just want to know what yall think.

[evepm]

Dear lifeissocruel:

 

Her boyfriend is an idiot. He shouldn't be going threw he things and if he has trust issues, she needs to get rid of him.

 

I can see that your situation is a bit complicated. You guys were together for a long time and obviously both your feelings never went away. Staying friends never allowed either one of you to really sort things out. I don't think that it was wrong to kiss her since you both seemed to want it but, I think that maybe you should try to implement no contact for a little while to give both of real time to sort threw your feelings and to make sure that it's not just a case of what's familiar to both of you. Give her and yourself sometime and both of you will be able to see the situation with more clarity. Best of luck to you.

 

Evepm

[lady00]

why can't u guys get together yet? why can't she leave her bf?

[lifeissocruel]

well she is confused, and we are going to be takeing a break i will write her from basic but only cause i promised.

 

so we get a 5 month break and we said we would talk again. she said she hopes nothing changes between us and if things keep going the way they were well end up back with each other.

[lady00]

Hmm...ok. Just don't let her string you along for too long. I mean, don't pressure her to leave her bf but at the same time don't hang around waiting forever. You need to find a balance. That said, things seem like they'll go your way. Good luck!

[TrueHeart]

I agree with not letting her string you along. Also, I too came from an emotional and mentally abusive relationship where my XBF didn't trust me, so he'd ransack my things, sabotage my computer, and go through my phone's call list. It was extremely annoying and I felt like I had to look over my shoulder all the time.. he sounds very possessive (her bf) and she needs to really leave while she has a chance. Sounds like things just aren't healthy there, and she needs to leave him first.

 

It takes 2 to tango. If you meant kissing her, don't feel bad for it... she kissed you back, right? If she chose to let you do that, that should also say what her devotion to her BF is. Its a skewed view, but it makes sense. You both love eachother, but she has a few loose ends to tie up if she truly wants to pursue you both as an item, actively.

 

She needs to ditch the loser, because I can tell you from experience, she's definitely NOT happy.. but SHE needs to make that call, not you.