Need Help and Advice on how to proceed

[can1328]

Friends, I want to thank you in advance for helping me with this:

 

My girlfriend and I have been dating close to a year now, we have had a very nice relationship, happy, active, etc. We spend a lot of time together maybe too much some might say but when we have discussed this with each other we decide that we enjoy our time together so why change that?

 

Everything has been going fine but with small speedbumps in the road on my part. I started my career and also bought two investment properties. This really has almost controlled my life. I'm very busy with this and there is problems everyday of the week. My stress level is through the roof a lot of times. A lot of our conversation has to do with these houses and what has been going on with them.

 

I also have a problem when I get stressed or angry I raise my voice to her, and I behave in an immature way. I always see this after the fact but during the time its happeneing I cant help it.

 

To make a long story short, we got in an argument sunday and I said something I shouldn't have, she reacted, and I reacted. I left her house and went home. I woke up the next morning and contacted her like I do ever morning and found out that she was still angry and didn't want to talk. I let her go throughout the day.

 

That night I tried to contact her to talk and she told me she had enough and its time we take a break and break up.

 

At this time I'm devistated. I've given her all of her space like she asked and I just want to show her that she scared me straight. I have looked into Anger Management classes becasue I need to control my stress and anger.

 

I'm really just looking to find a way to let her know that she has scared me straight, she is the one I want, that makes me happy, that does everything for me. I'm just not that good at expressing my feelings. What do I do?

[30yrold]

Realize that she deserves better treatment from a mate, and make the changes you feel you need to make. This will take time. You may not be able to win her back, but at least you can make changer in yourself for the better. You put your properties ahead of her, and treated her poorly. Reassess what is important to you in life, and position yourself to achieve these goals. Sometimes we do things that we think are good for ourselves and our mates, but lose sight of what is really important in the mean time.

 

Maybe write her a letter expressing your regret and acknowledging your faults. Tell her your intentions to make changes, and that you will need time to do this. Also, make sure you tell her how you feel about her! She probably feels like second place to some houses right now. Don't hold back your emotions, let them all out. Send her the letter and see if she responds.

 

If she doesn't, then continue with your self improvement plan. If she does, take things slow, and continue with your self improvement plan.

[hyperion9384]

I take a different viewpoint than others here. I believe that although you recognize that you didn't choose the right path, you still came back to the relationship becasue you love her and you value the bond you share with her. I look at this as very one-sided when she is so stubborn not to look at all of the facts after you've come to the realization that you made a mistake and that you are sincere in your efforts to seek forgiveness.

 

I personally feel that any woman that can just step away and be cold like this without looking at the larger picture isn't worthy of such a great relationship. You sound like you were seeking shelter from a lot of pressure and that you didn't empathize with her and she didn'tthink enough of the love that she had to be forgiving and open. Life is too chort to chase people who can't recognize that forgiveness is divine and needed. Drop contact with her suddenly. Don't contact her and you'll see a stark reminder that she needs you. She needs love to be grounded to the relationship. Be strong enough to go a week with no contact....she'll see hat you recognized her need for space and the seriousness that you didn't contct her under duress. If she still responds coldly then she doesn't deserve your love in the first place. Be strong...

 

T.

[sadchick83]

I am a woman who on more than one occasion have told my ex yelling at me was a deal breaker. He never swore, or called me bad names, but the raising of his voice drove me crazy. I don't think you have totally ruined the relationship...did you call her the "c" word? Did you verbally insult her? Or, did you just yell? Please let us know what immature means???

 

I could probably forgive yelling, but if you mixed that in with personal insults, maybe not. Just let her cool off a bit.

 

And hey ....Donald Trump was always nice to his ladies, get a property manager buddy!!