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Everything posted by 30yrold

  1. You broke up with your new boyfriend and begged me to talk. You told me you loved me and that you made mistakes. We made progress. Real progress. Things just can't magically go back to how they were, you still need to work on yourself and figure out what you want. You love me, but aren't ready to be with me or anyone, so why should I stick around. You know damn well we can't really be friends and watch each other date and perhaps fall in love with someone else. You need time, and I can't wait for you, I'm sorry. It is best for both of us at this point, to let go. I know it will be difficult for you, and I know you will think I don't care about you, but that is not the case. I would love to marry you and have a family with you and your sons, but you aren't ready, and need time to grow.
  2. I'm going to give this a shot. Dear Ex, I have asked you to stop contacting me as we are unable to find a balance between our lives that allows us to be friends. It's no one fault, just choices and circumstances. But for the love of GOD stop contacting me!!! I asked you nicely a few times, and now I am getting angry and can't move forward. I have not replied to the last seven messages you have sent in the last three days. I am sure you are desperate to talk to me since your boyfriend is completely emotionally unavailable for you, and only wants to see you on weekends (for sex, I'm sure). Begging me to talk to you and calling me Baby is pathetic and manipulative and needs to STOP NOW. You want to know how you can "fix it" like you said you wished you could do? Dump your boyfriend. Be ALONE for six months. Grow up, find some independence, find some self confidence that you don't need to be with someone so you can offer more than instrumental motivations in a relationship. Then, and only then, contact me. We will talk about how difficult it was, but how you feel much stronger and are happy with yourself. Otherwise, go complain to your boyfriend about how much you miss me, and see how he feels about it. Heated, R
  3. It has to get to that point for you to see how strong you can really be
  4. I corrected this quote because it moved me, and I wanted others to see it too.
  5. Just block her so you can't see her, and she can't see you. It's easy enough. I wouldn't put a month, or any set time period. Wait until you are over it, and feelings aren't raw anymore. Sometimes its a few weeks, sometimes a few months, sometimes longer!
  6. Then you've done your part, and now is the difficult part. Patience. You have to let her go and work on yourself, make yourself happy. Do things you enjoy, spend time with good people, exercise. All of that will benefit you regardless of the outcome with her. If there was love between you, and she sees you differently, there is a chance. But you can't count on it, and you have to let go. It is much easier said than put in practice though, This I can relate to first hand.
  7. Sure its a rebound, but sometimes rebounds work out, so don't focus on that. You will have to SHOW her how you feel, not just tell her. And since the other guy is around, that will be difficult if not impossible. You will have to let her decide what she wants, and right now it isn't you. If the other guy treats her well, and gets along with her kid, then the only thing you have is history with her. Which is building between her and the new bf right now. You laid everything out, now you have to respect her enough to make the decision for herself, and not force it. Give things time, but don't wait around for her.
  8. She sounds very confused. I think most people will tell you to lay out all of your feelings and then walk away and let her decide if she wants to get back together with you. The hard part is that she will have to realize that new guy isn't who she wants, and while they are still in the initial honeymoon phase, this is unlikely. Our situations are similar, although I know that my former gf needs time ALONE to figure things out before I would even think of reconciling with her. Unfortunately, our situations are tough because we were the dumpers, and basically did take them for granted. If she wasn't dating someone, you could take things slow, and SHOW her that you care, but you will most likely not get that chance with another guy in the picture. I know I'm not much help, but just thought I'd add my perspective.
  9. That is HER job, and she needs some time to think things over ALONE to figure out what that means to her. Jumping from man to man is just a way to avoid facing her own feelings.
  10. I think you are letting yourself be used, and he is getting the best of both worlds. There is no way he is going to break up with the new girl if you are giving it up, knowing full well he is attached to someone else. Why would he? I suggest following your plan of no contact, and healing up. If he attempts to contact you, ask if he is still dating someone. If the answer is yes, stop responding to him.
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