feeling numb

[sisterlynch]

Do any of you feel numb, like an absense of emotions? I feel really scattered in my thinking! Like I am not sure how I really feel about anything. Do others of you feel this way too?

[foxyval1607306450]

No, but I wish I did.

[Gilgamesh]

Well i dont necessarily feel numb, but have no control over my emotions, my mood swings are so dramatic it scares me, one moment in tears and seconds later, angry. one moment I have faith and hope, another i feel like ending my life.

 

I really need to distance myself from this country, i plan to fly to the USA, get in my car and drive from Fla to California and see some sights, just need to do this to get my eX out of my system, I am having way to hard a time healing my heart and moving on. I know that when Iam over there, this country and my eX will feel more distant.

 

I still love her, and still hold faith that we will resolve our problems in the future, but ask me this 5 minutes from now, and that answer could be all the oopposite.

 

feeling numb is not a good thing though, from what i understand you need to go through all this emotional crap to heal, damn hope i heal real soon because right now iam practically useless as a funtioning human being.

[sonja]

Geez, I can't agree more Gilgamesh. I have this feeling of hopelessnes as though the world has come to a standstill for me. I feel no emotion at all except unbearable pain. I cannot get over my ex although I try to. I have been told by friends and others that no man is worth this, and that I should try and move on. My question is, where do I move on? Is there a place where I can hide myself and this pain will not find me there?

So all I am left with is this empty feeling. I do my daily job, go on with my routine like a machine, yet deep inside I am bleeding.

sonja

[tmills0011607306452]

Well, me? I still feel as bad as I have for a while. I have healed a little, but have taken many steps to make myself a better person. (Working out, getting a tan for once! ect...) It's very difficult. Especially since when she has noticed those changes in me and now is starting to realize that indeed I am the person I always said I was.

 

Now she has been calling me daily, wishing me a good day, and to take care of myself. Now the caring tone in her voice has returned to my ear. I always hear phone messages, but never return her calls unless she calls my work.

 

Now her demeanor has changed. I know now that she misses me now. I have also found out that she has never seen anyone after the break up. I know I may get flamed, but I have been thinking with my head and heart at the same time. I persue my passions and hobbies, but at the same time, I have learned that I do not need her. But that I do love her dearly. I believe I am going to take another stab at it, but take it slow..... But now I feel numb because of it. I'm doing this biased. I'm forcing myself to burry some feeling, while I am doing it. And believe it or not, I am following the e-book "This Side of Good-bye" to the "T"

 

I'll have an update this tuesday, I have agreed to meet her then. She wanted to meet this weekend, but I told her I was busy. She asked what for? I told her nothing, and That I would meet up with her tuesday. She agreed eagerly. One thing is for sure.... If things do work out, I will not move in with her for a long time.

[sisterlynch]

tmills, I think you are right that feeling numb is part of the process of getting over something. I think that the emotions of the war stired in me some of the other losses that I have been feeling over the last few years. The more losses we pass through, the easier it gets to heal, but I used to think that the end of the process would be happiness, which I have felt, up until the war started.

 

Then it was some of the happiness that maybe a military solution would cause those people some of the freedom which we take too much for granted here in this country.

 

Maybe some of the separation anxiety of Gilgamesh will be solved when you come back here and are surrounded by Americans who are feeling the same as you are.

 

I know that a lot of you probably disagree with me on the war in Iraq, thinking it unnecessary and unfounded. I was shuffling through those emotions too, however now that hopefully there will be a resolution to the crisis, as we move closer to Bagdahd, the people of Iraq really will be free!

 

Won't that be a triumph! That we have actually freed a foreign nation from the rule of a tirant! We have the freedom to chose and say no! But do they have the same freedoms in their country, how does that bring the people down over the years if they lack the basic freedom to do anything!

 

They don't even know if there ruler is alive or dead, quite frankly. And yet they still go into their bunkers each night and return each day like animals hoping to remain free but knowing they'll be better off if they are caught and taken captive.

 

We need to hear more of the Iraqi people living in this country who hope that their friends and family will be free to come here if they choose.

 

So this is probably why I am feeling numb. It is a feeling devoid of happiness and sadness. But I am hopeful and know that a resolution will come in the future.

 

Hey! By the way, thank you for all the thoughtful responses! I really appreciated hearing from everyone on the topic! Peace!

[Gilgamesh]

> Sonja

I wish there was a place where people like us could like all get together have some pizza, talk about our problems maybe cry a bit in each others shoulders. I feel so alone here, I am in a 3rd world predominatly "macho" mentality so very very few men here relate to my emotions, they have this espression "un clavo saca otro clavo" translated means you can use another nail to remove the old. or in other words, just get another girl! and now that I have been over two months with this, they just look at me like I am some kind of freak. so I am really a fish out of water. But the main reason I am leaving is I just need change the scenario, have a mission a goal, something to get my mind off of her and look forward.

 

Tmills >

 

I wish my eX was trying to make that kind of contact with me, the only positive indication I have gotten from her was that maybe we could be friends! as if I did something to be her enemy! so strange. one day the love of her life, the next I cant stand you, then well maybe friends, oh well I guess its an improvement. Right now though, Iam in no condition to forgive her, first because she is still in denial of the scale of what she has done and has not asked for forgiveness so I cant forgive her, and I have not healed, so even if she was to ask, i wouldnt be able to. so time is the only solution, time away from each other. She is a very sensitive person more so than I, but she has also numbed herself, she has protected herself from the pain of what she has done by denial, but she will wake up, like your eX, she will see what she is about to lose, hopefully I will be able to forgive her. I have to have faith that love will prevail.

 

> Sisterlynch

 

I do agree with you on the war, although again I am a Gringo over here and there is a different point of view over here by many.

 

Many here dont see the US as liberators, they see the US as an Empire that just looking out for its own interests. and to some extent I do agree to that also. But I also agree that Saddam has to be removed and I do agree that this war will save many hundreds of thousands of lives in the long run.

 

You see in this country, The US supported a dictator that killed and tortured thousands, but the US didnt care about that as long as he was anti comunist, Somaza , and other dictators have all been supported by the US over the years, these Dictators were worse than any communist there was no freedom. So some US policies are not very humanitarian.

 

We all want us to be the good guys, I thing for the most part we are. The US has spilt their blood defending the freedoms of many countries, but we are no saints. Its up to us the people to make sure we remain the good guys by keeping our Government from going beyond what is responsable.

The US cannot afford to continue supporting whackos around the globe because at a particular moment they are on our sides, Bin Ladden, Saddam , Noriega, Trujillo, Somoza and many many more dictators and fanatics have been supported by the US Gov. and its all come back to bite us in the end. If we are to continue being the good guys, we need to support people that are good.

 

When this war is over, we need to show the world, that we did this for the people there, we need to rebuild that country, establish a responsable Gov there, then leave ASAP.

 

well this part of the post really doesnt have anything to do with the emotional pain of a break up, but sure got my mind off of it for a few minutes.

[Huligan]

i did ...mean...feeling numb

this morning....uufhh

because had about 1 litre of vodka yesterday evening