Any suggestions?

[jenna-is-here]

Well I'm 5mos NC out from the b/u of a 5 yr live in r/s. Overall, I'm ok only miss my ex at times but focus on keeping busy. Have even dated a bit.

 

This week is my 40th bday and for some reason, the feelings of us being together have been rushing back. I reallly miss him and think it may have something to do w my birthday. I don't want to relapse. I know in my head I don't even want to be with him.

 

So my question is, does the "miss" get worse around your birthday? And how do you counter that?

[lia86]

I think it gets worse with any significant event that feels like they should be there. I had a bunch of family in town this weekend and it was really stressful. I am so used to having him around to kind of "buffer" that sort of thing for me, to take the edge off. But this time I had no one and it felt exceptionally lonely.

 

I've heard holidays, birthdays and Sundays are the worst, and that's definitely been the case for me.

 

How do you counter it? The best advice I have is to just take it the same way we've been taking the rest of this whole excruciatingly painful chapter of our lives. Just feel it out, try to stay busy and know it will eventually pass...

[jenna-is-here]

Thank you for your reply Lia. I totally understand the family thing! I am dreading Christmas this year. Yeah, I talked to some of my girlfriends about the bday. They said they went through the same things. I just keep thinking of what we did last year (the restaurant we went to, etc.). Oh well, a new year, new friends, new places! I cant wait till Thur b/c it will be behind me! Thank you again.

[lia86]

Right?? I just realized after this weekend that I am going to have to go through every yearly occurrence again without him for the whole next year... but eff it, b/c last year we had a sh*tty Thanksgiving, a sh*tty Christmas, a sh*tty New Years and a sh*tty Valentine's Day. Seriously, it blows my mind every day how we can miss people we were so unhappy with...

 

Think of it this way. What if this was your last year to live? We don't ever really know what's going to happen. Sure, Thanksgiving is going to be rough, but if you knew it was your last one..