Sick and tired of it all!

[betrthanurex]

For as long as I have known, I run away from my problem.

 

I moved half way accross the city last year in a misguided attempt to start a new life.

 

Unfortunately, my grandmother got ill and I decided to move back home with my grandparents where I had been raised my entire life.

 

Now, my grandmother is in a nursing home, and my grandfather is in and out of the hospital.

 

Living alone with my grandfather in his large, four bedroom house has been challenging, my amazing boyfriend has kind of moved in.

 

Now - my aunt wants to have a "talk" with me. I fear she is going to bring up money, my boyfriend living with us, taking care of my grandfather.

 

This is all fine, but why just me? If it is regarding JUST my grandfather then why can't we have 'family meetings'.

 

I'm worried she is going to bring up rent, paying Grandfather money, smoking pot, etc.

 

I am a good kid, so is my boyfriend. We're 23-25. We have steady jobs and are motivated and seek for more. We are planning on buying a house in a year and getting married.

 

My aunt tries to micromanage the family and is never happy with anything that she didn't do herself. I just got to work, and she started texting me about this little "talk" she wants us to have and now I am so... upset about this I can't seem to concentrate on my job.

 

Any insight?

[avman]

I guess until your aunt talks to you it's hard to know what she'll say. Wait and see what she's got to say first before making too many assumptions.

[lostnscared]

Well not to be mean, but honestly I CAN see why she wants to have a talk with you. I'm sure you two are good kids but it's your grandfathers home. Moving a bf into HIS home, smoking pot in HIS home, and not providing financial assistance(esp. if it is needed) is somewhat of an issue. It's sort of like: their house, their rules, live by it or move out. You cannot be too angry with your aunt if she doesn't agree with the current arrangement. Before you moved him in, did you actually sit down and TALK with your grandfather, aunt and other family members to see if it was okay? Are they okay with you smoking pot in their home? Do they NEED financial assistance since you are living there for FREE? These are all questions that probably should have been addressed and discussed once you moved back in and allowed your bf to move in. The truth is that you CAN move out and live in your own place, smoke pot, and have your bf living with you too if you don't like the rules. So if she does have this "talk" with you, then she is very valid (IMO) in addressing these issues. But at this point you don't even KNOW what the talk is going to be about. So before you jump to conclusions just wait and hear her out.

[betrthanurex]

Yeah I get all that.

 

My aunt smokes pot too, fyi.

 

It's a huge house and is paid off, no financial assistance is needed though I do give my grandfather a few hundred every month and buy groceries for myself every week. I try to do as much as possible, cleaning, laundry since there is no one else to do it. my aunt lives further away and does not visit that much.

 

i'm 23, i take care of the house, have a job, take care of the animals at our house (2 dogs and a cat), as well as try to keep my grandfather on a healthy schedule since he has been in and out of the hospital recently.

 

I totally get what you said 'lostnscared'.

 

But, trying to do as much as I do do every day - I've struggled for a while trying to balance all of the responsibility at home, while maintaining my job and extra stuff, part time work, school etc.

Anyways, its not like the stuff she "may" bring up has totally eluded me... they are issues I think about every day - wanting to do more..

 

I'm just at a point where I feel like the things I do do, go unnoticed by all. It's just a difficult family situation. Sorry.