been nearly a month since we spoke. still trying to sort contact with the children!

[Leon91]

well..yet again im back in that boat again.

last saw my ex on my birthday three weeks ago. we havent spoken since, as shes either changed her number or has switched her phone off and stopped using facebook/msn and the like.

 

i do love my ex, dearly! she is the love of my life

but i have had to realise its never going to work aslong as she carrys on dissapearing for weeks and changing her number and whatever.

 

to aid my cause in getting contact with my children i have chosen to rent a lager house

to have the rooms free to be able to give a room each..

so thats step one.

 

step two was:

anger management

counciling

parenting classes

and also regular alcohol/drug tests ( i dont do drugs, never have either but its just part of the test )

 

i also explained to the social that i accepted our relationship was over 100%

and that i would not contact my ex at all.. and they ordered her do the same!

now. this is all good, except, its just childish

we are both 19, i did explain that even though i had no intention of relationships with my ex that it would make life a lot easier to have civil contact regarding the children

day to day progress/doctors appointments and the like.

instead of me knowing nothing and us both acting as though each other doesnt exist!

but they didnt care about that.

 

the social and my solicitor have all said they are extremly impressed that i have seeken

anger management and counciling and parenting classes off my own back and not waiting for them

 

so apart from maybe getting somewhere with the social i have:

 

met someone new... not in a relationship. as it wouldnt be fair to lie to another girl about feelings i have not yet got towards her. as she likes me alot more than i like her.

shes a sweet caring and loyal person and a very good friend. so im not rushing anything yet!

 

i guess im hoping for:

 

1. to be able to have unsupervised contact with the children

2. to have a civil and amicable friendship with my ex , as parents.

3. to maybe start a relationship one day.. if/when i finally get over my ex.

 

well.. thats where i stand now..what yall think of the situation now?

a step in the right direction?

what else can i do to better my chances of sorting it all out?

[catfeeder]

Focus on your social worker and lawyer's advice for earning contact with your kids. Put all else on the back burner and allow things to work themselves out over time. If you push for anything outside the scope of what you're allowed or what is recommended, you'll sink yourself and send yourself back to square one.

 

The problem with being 19 is that 19 year-olds rarely demonstrate patience and self control. Go THERE first. The rest will come in time if you allow time to do its job.