i am so tired

[bishop]

okay well, i need to talk about my problems and get some perspective.

 

It really all started maybe 2.5 years ago. I was in my last year of school, and the stress of university was getting to me. I was having ahard time sleeping. I was always so tired and so zapped for energy. After school i thought my insomnia would end, but it continued. I am a really good job, and alot of responsibility, but my mind is always so clouded. I take sleeping medication every night, and it is destroying my memory. It got pretty bad laster year, i tired to take my own life, but without success. This has just totally destroyed my quality of life. I have been thinking about qutting my job and taking a year off to recouperate, but without my job I really do not have anything. I just do not know what to do, I want to live and recover but I fear I may never.

 

i just need some advice and a friendly ear. I feel so alone. If i can recover from then I could live out my dreams. I just wish and pray this will pass. I am at my breaking point again.

[Trinity1607306450]

Hi Bishop. Welcome. I'm not a doctor but you sure sound depressed.

You didn't mention in your post whether you are under a doctors care.

Three years ago I took 9 weeks off on a paid leave of absense due

to stress/depression/suicidal tendencies, and while initially the break

was good, eventually the monotony got to me and I started to sleep

around the clock. Taking time off didn't ease my depression, it made it worse. But what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another. Do you have a good relationship with your employers? Would they be supportive if you were able to tell them how you feel? Do you have family or a significant other who are able to also support you? You need compassion and reassurance, and it's good to see you reaching out here, but try to do the same out in the real world, too. I believe that a problem shared is a problem cut in half. Don't give up on life. Do what you need to do to make things more manageable and just take it a day at a time.

I hope this helped some. Hang in there and God Bless.

[bishop]

thank you trinity. My boss is a great guy, he treats me more like an equal than a subordinate. I have made up my mind to talk to him tomorrow, he knows about my problem and still puts alot of faith in me, perhaps more than i deserve. My family, well they are another story, but they have pleaded with me several times to quit my job because of stress. I have the financial means and support to take a long break, but I just can not overcome my pride and take off. my job is the only stable thing in my life, I have such great opportunity at work, but opportunities leads to stress. sometimes i wish i was a farmer, living a simple life. I have just been fighting this for so long, and i really need to get over this at whatever costs. if i let this go on for much longer it will totally destroy me. Thank you for your reply, it is good to talk about my problems as I tend to swallow everything inside. Sometime i get so angry that god would give me the talent and take away my ability. Sometimes I wish i was my ignorant to the real world and could abstain from thinking about consequences.

[cookies]

hey bishop

 

I can truly relate to this feeling, depression, feeling lonely, sadness...and stress from work...because i went thru that last year. I had the best job anyone could ask for in the world, i worked at a multimedia and video production company but was making an income of near poverty level, and couldnt hardly suffice my day to day responsibilities from my wages..which was stressful. I sacrificed myself, because at one point i enjoyed it, but later realized that it wasnt worth it,...so i QUIT ...

 

Ive felt such a relief off my shoulders and chest every since, and in the meantime, altho i still get lonely, sad and feel depressed,...ive made a decision to dedicate myself to put my talent to use. I love the arts, and im establishing myself as an entrepeneur, gettin my business plan together, business license & EIN, and doing everything necessary to succeed an an artist (painting and musically) working out of my home studio(s)...(that i will finish building).

 

This is a sense of freedom, and being in charge,...altho i dont have the funds taht a wealthy person may have, and can make this happen in a matter of days..it will take me a year or two,...but i have that determination, and belief in myself and my talent.

 

You mentioned your talent earlier, i dont know what ur talent is,..but if you are not happy or satisfied at ur current job, i suggest that if you leave..do it with a plan to excel in an area that you are happy with, and use ur talent to exel you...That may be why ur not happy, because you are not using your GOD given talent to its fullest capacity. God doesnt give us talent, to let it go to waste...we are the ones that waste it ourselves. I havent painted an oil portrait for over 16 years (im 36), and when i did a recent picture of a well known celebrity, and looked at some other artists work on the interenet..i was amazed at how much BETTER i was than some artists i ran accross, and they get paid to do what they love doing...and i am not even at my full capacity at the moment...but i will be when i brush up on my skills, and the success potential will be limitless...

 

I write long responses, and im sorry 4 those that have to read this,..but if you want to talk further, please send me a private message. You will and CAN overcome the depression. Meds are sometimes necessary, and other times, its a matter of us making decisions that impact on our current state of mind, or situation we are dealing with...

 

good luck, and i look forward to hearing from you...I think you have alot of potential, u just hafta have the right persons in your corner to help you shake that creativity within...

 

 

 

cookies

[anthonyyyyyyyyyy]

If you can afford it, take time out. Travel. I was in your situation, stressed out by office job, not sleeping, depressed. So, I grit my teeth, saved for a year, and quit the job to travel for a while. You can travel very cheaply in SE Asia and meet tons of travellers, or do casual work somewhere like Australia, if you can get the visa.

 

Maybe it's escapism, if so, so what? Escape for a while. What's the rush anyway? It did me good to have jobs for a while (bricklayer, cleaner, etc) that I could switch off at 5pm and not think about until the next day, plus met tons of people, made great friends, discovered new hobbies, got back in shape. And... the bags under my eyes have gone

[jimbucktwo1776]

This is not meant to be mean. This is meant to help you - tough love I suppose.

 

 

QUIT COMPLAINING AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

 

 

I have a solution for being tired!!!!!!

 

First-Stop taking sleeping medicine-STOP TONIGHT.

 

Second-Start running. It will rejuvinate your life and enrich your lifestyle. If you aren't a runner, start for 15 minutes a day, morning or night, as you run more and more, expand it to at least an hour each day, morning or night, or half hour each.

 

This is REALLY tough to start doing. Especially when motivation is low-but if you want to change your life, and what's going on inside your head, you need to start somewhere, and this is the easiest way to do so. When you are sitting at home feeling bad, get up, shut up, and start running.

 

You will feel better about yourself, you will notice a change in your life. I can promise you that. If you are going to be spending your time being tired, you might as well make it real exhaustion. Then you will be able to sleep.

 

Also, do you eat healthy? Enough vitamins and minerals? EXTREMELY Important too.

 

Your well being is a scale-upon which you need to balance physical health, mental health, and emotional health. When emotions are running low, bulk up on the other stuff to get you by, and visca versa. It will change your life.

 

Run every day.

 

 

 

Jimbucktwo1776