loneliness since my husband left; friends are hard to find

[phasegirl]

I'm not sure why I'm feeling this way, but I've been battling loneliness for a long time. I came out of a 10 year relationship where my ex husband left me for another woman, and my social life has been going downhill since.

 

 

It's been very difficult to make new friends - not necessarily because I don't meet anyone, but because the quality of the relationships are not "real friendship" level. Most people decide to spend their free time with their families or they are into the dating scene. This is understable, but severely restricts me in finding new people.

 

Then this weekend comes, and I see that my ex husband mailed me a check (money that he owes me in a court case) and it is signed, "Mr. and Mrs. xxx" (meaning that he married the woman he left me for).

 

I've been so depressed it's not even funny. I am so tired of being alone.

 

In any case, I have a good friend who happens to live far from me, but we connect through facebook. We always chat on the facebook and play games together, etc.

 

So this morning, I wake up and see how she is loved by those in her community and how her friends on facebook invite her out and are even considering throwing a big birthday party for her. Meanwhile I'm home with no one to consider or remember me.

Yesterday evening, I waited for her to chat with me, and even though she was online, she didn't appear on chat. I realized then that I am more of an online pixel than a real friend.

 

 

To make a long story short, I was so filled with emotion that I unfriended her. I know it sounds mean, but my thing is that if something is going to cause me angst - meaning my having to see how much fun everyone is having while I have to sit home and rot, then i might as well not have it around.

 

I know my actions sound so wrong, but what else can I do to help me get over these very negative feelings?

[Someday_Soon]

Don't do anything rash and try your best to hide your bitter feelings unless someone asks you about them. Insecurity typically drives potential friends away once they pick up on it. At least you have been married before which is more than many people can say. Sometimes facebook seems like more a competition than it does a forum for socializing.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Yes, most women seem to either be in a relationship or making it their life mission to find a relationship so it is hard to find friends who are happily single and sincere about friendships. It was pretty tacky of your ex to send you the check with it signed Mr. and Mrs...but then again he cheated on you so he doesn't exactly have the compassionate/appropriate behaviour gene. Hang in there. Try to get out and join some groups...you may not meet long lasting friendships but at least you will be out there doing things and having a diversion.