How often do you talk/communicate in a long distance relationship?

[Allyo]

How often do you talk to your significant other (assuming you are in a long distance relationship)? I'm hoping to get a little bit of perspective on how other people deal with the distance and how often they talk.

 

I ask this since I am about one week into my first long-distance relationship. The truth is, I don't really feel that happy or satisfied so far.

 

I am with a guy who previously broke up with me for not wanting to have a long distance relationship, although he came back around and we made up. We have never spent more than 2-3 days a week together, and we've been together since January. And while we have never been the type of couple that communicates or sees each other every day, I have always felt satisfied in the sense that we maintained our independence and outside friendships. It seemed that the quality of time we spent together was a lot more important than the quantity.

 

It has been a week and two days since he left. The week before he left went perfectly. We both had a good time together, saw each other more than usual, and we left on a very good note.

 

The first three days after he left he called me. It made me feel good to see that he was making an effort to stay in touch. But yet the rest of this week he hasn't called me at all! I sent him one message (offline) through messenger to which he didn't respond and then called him once on Wednesday. We talked briefly since I was heading out at the time. He said he would call me "later," and I am still waiting on that call.

 

Now I know today is only Saturday, but I feel frustrated that he hasn't called. It is the first time in almost a year that he has seen his family and friends from back home, yet I feel like it wouldn't be that hard to write an e-mail or make a short phone call.

 

Should I feel offended about this?

[RougeKali823]

Everyday via phone (breaks for work and class) and we see each other once a month. It helps to have a long term goal of living together. You are right to feel a little left bothered by his failing to call so just call him and tell him how you feel. I am the same way at times. When my boyfriend leaves I call right away but as I start to miss him being in person I start calling less rather than sharing how sad I am.

[anggrace]

I would be a little diaspointed, yes. But only because he said he would call and he didn't. He shouldn't say it if he's not going to. But some people just say it out of habit without realising you take it to heart and look forward to it.

 

When I was Ld, we talked every two to three days. But I could see why you might be feeling a little insecure being that he once broke up with you due to not wanting to be in an ldr. I wouldn't sweat it, but I would let him know next time you talk to him to not tell you he's going to call if he's not. But then again, Im sure he'll have some "reason" why he didn't. Maybe the twoof you should discuss what amount of contact you both feel comfortable with. At the same time, try to remain a little loose about it.

[Allyo]

Maybe the twoof you should discuss what amount of contact you both feel comfortable with. At the same time, try to remain a little loose about it.

 

This was the first thing that came to my mind... that we should have an open discussion about just how much to talk and when. But I guess I am afraid of bringing it up since our relationship has always been very organic. I don't want it to feel like a routine or for him to feel like he needs to call me out of obligation. If he wants to call me I would prefer that it come from him, because he wants to and misses me, not because he has to.

[OptomisticGirl]

We talk everyday. The bulk of it is via email and usually between him getting off work and me going to work we will chat on Skype for an hour as well as my 30 min lunch break. There isn't a day we don't talk, at least via emial.

[anggrace]

This was the first thing that came to my mind... that we should have an open discussion about just how much to talk and when. But I guess I am afraid of bringing it up since our relationship has always been very organic. I don't want it to feel like a routine or for him to feel like he needs to call me out of obligation. If he wants to call me I would prefer that it come from him, because he wants to and misses me, not because he has to.

 

I see what your saying. I think you can do it in a way that will keep it "organic", where you're not scheduling when the phone calls will be. Maybe just have light conversation and find out what he's comfortable with or what would make him happy as far as amount of communication. Start with that and then tell him how you feel about it. Just see where the conversation goes. Don't force it, just bring it up and let it happen. These are good things to know in a relationship.