Your BF and buying clothes.

[miie]

Do any girls here have a very hard time finding and buying clothes? And their bf/partner constantly gets angry at them because they do?

 

I always have trouble finding clothes i like. Some of the styles they've had in the shops lately have been odd. I dont think they would suit me personally.

 

My bf gets very angry, annoyed and bothered that i can't just buy something. This applies for underwear too.

 

I try it on, and either it doesn't feel good, doesn't fit right or i just dont like it when its on. It doesn't always look as it does on the model in the shop! I know i am picky, but i always have been and always have had trouble finding clothes that fit right.

 

I dont know how to handle the situation with my bf. He has become a lot more mean/angry about it, nit-picking everything i do.

 

Ive bought clothes because he said he liked them and they've looked good. Ive never worn them.

 

any advice?

[SayWhen]

Why not just go shopping by yourself if your boyfriend only gets agitated/negative when you shop together?

[Snowy]

Take another friend with you the next time.

[anu1560]

Ok. Most men will get annoyed by the way women shop. I have seen very few men who will not get bored and annoyed by women's way of shopping. You got to take your girl friends with you for shopping. It is boring for men to shop clothes for hours and hours. I can spend 9.00am to 9.00pm in the mall and still come out buying nothing. And I can go to the mall to buy nothing and come out with 4-5 bags full of clothes in just 3-4 hours. If I take a guy with me and I do that, he will be ready to kill me. Next time, go by yourself or take your girl friends. MEN AND SHOPPING really doesn't go well. Unless HE is really exceptional.

 

I never went shopping with any of my ex bf's after initial few times. Whenever I took them, they annoyed me as much as I annoyed them, since they have little patience with shopping clothes and I have loads of patience while shopping clothes.

[Binoo]

I shop alone for this very reason. I don't even take friends along if I know I'll be buying clothes because it takes me FOREVER to find what I want and I don't want to feel rushed or feel rude having someone wait around for me.

[miie]

Sorry, maybe i wasn't too clear on that part!

 

I dont go shopping with him. Only once and i ended up buying a dress that i feel is way to short and haven't worn it. I never asked him to come either.

 

This has been going on for much longer than since then, but he does it through email, in person, in texts. He gets quite angry about it and then starts picking at everything i do wrong.

 

Sometimes if i go shopping i can find so many good things and come home with a lot, but other times i can't find a thing! and that is what he focuses on.

[anu1560]

Your shopping time is your shopping time. I don't see why he would get mad at you if you go shopping by yourself. Doesn't matter how much you buy or how little you buy. Its your money and time you are spending. Not his. Unless he feels lonely while you are gone shopping. Or else I would consider his action to be really controlling behavior. Is he trying to make you not shop? Are you really a shopaholic that is making him angry?

[annie24]

1 - Don't go shopping with your boyfriend. It annoys most men I think.

 

2 - If you take anyone shopping, take a friend whose style you admire.

 

3 - if you have particular tastes, you should consider catalogs. Just measure yourself so you know what size to order. I do a lot of shopping from catalogs. Saves time. and it's typically free returns if it doesn't fit.

[miie]

Your shopping time is your shopping time. I don't see why he would get mad at you if you go shopping by yourself. Doesn't matter how much you buy or how little you buy. Its your money and time you are spending. Not his. Unless he feels lonely while you are gone shopping. Or else I would consider his action to be really controlling behavior. Is he trying to make you not shop? Are you really a shopaholic that is making him angry?

 

haha, no where near a shopaholic!

 

i dont know why he gets annoyed. I find it annoying that i can't find anything i like but i should. Not him. I dont like going to the mall for hours and hours and come back with nothing. i just dont like it when i try it on or doens't fit right. he can't understand that.

[_Asti_]

This seems so ridiculous. Why does he care so much? I just think its a very odd thing for him to be getting worked up over since it has nothing to do with him!

[miie]

1 - Don't go shopping with your boyfriend. It annoys most men I think.

 

2 - If you take anyone shopping, take a friend whose style you admire.

 

3 - if you have particular tastes, you should consider catalogs. Just measure yourself so you know what size to order. I do a lot of shopping from catalogs. Saves time. and it's typically free returns if it doesn't fit.

 

thanks.

 

But i dont go shopping with him.

 

I have trouble finding clothes because im tall. A might see a nice dress that looks really great on the model but when i put it on, its like a long shirt! I cant just pick omething off the rack and know it will look good.

 

He thinks from this i can't make up my mind.

 

I can easily take 10 things into the change room but not like any of it - whether its too small, too big, doens't look good or feel right. Im not that keen on tops that make your boobs look huge or exposed either. And while im not large, some tops make me look like that. Of course my bf likes it, but i dont.

[anu1560]

Just don't discuss about your shopping to him. I also cannot find my size in the mall many times. I wear them. I take them out. I wear them again and take them out again. Then go get another one and try them on. Some will fit in the waist but won't fit in the hips and bla bla bla. But don't share your shopping experience with your BF then. Men are not as picky as women are in terms of clothes, so they cannot relate with our kind of shopping. And its normal for women to try 10 things before they find something they like. Tell your guy that this is how women shop. And it is not just YOU. Its most women. May be you can ask him to go shopping with his sister or some other friend who is a woman for a day. He will know it is not just you. It is MOST WOMEN. He should be able to relax after this.

[miie]

This seems so ridiculous. Why does he care so much? I just think its a very odd thing for him to be getting worked up over since it has nothing to do with him!

 

Same. Thats why i dont understand it.

 

he doesn't seem to get that everything doesn't look great when i try it on. He may think so, but i dont. The clothes i might really like i could never afford.

 

he doesn't even understand how hard it can be to find a bra that fits well. he thinks i can just go in a pick one off the rack and buy it. It might be ok if you were really small.

[_Asti_]

Why does he know about this? Do you go home and complain and pour it all out to him about everything you tried on, what worked, what didn't?

Just keep it to yourself. Dont tell him you went shopping. Dont tell him about any of it.

Hes clearly frustrated and annoyed, so just leave him out.

[miie]

Just don't discuss about your shopping to him. I also cannot find my size in the mall many times. I wear them. I take them out. I wear them again and take them out again. Then go get another one and try them on. Some will fit in the waist but won't fit in the hips and bla bla bla. But don't share your shopping experience with your BF then. Men are not as picky as women are in terms of clothes, so they cannot relate with our kind of shopping. So they find it annoying.

 

Funny thing is, i rarely talk about it to him. i might say i went shopping when he asks me what i did. he'll ask me if i bought anything, if i say no then he gets all 'why can't you just buy something its not that hard'. (thats the clean version!)

 

i never go into details about shopping and when i search for clothes.

 

sometimes we'll pop into this clothing store - for men and women, when we are out to tea, they are next door. he'll go in to look at his stuff but wander to the womens side. he'll pick out stuff for me. some of it i do like but when i see the price tag, i put it back. I can't afford to spend $140 on a t-shirt!

[FathomFear]

I was kind of shocked when you said that you don't shop with him but he gets upset with you over email/text when you spend time shopping. Unless it's cutting into valuable time elsewhere, which I doubt, it's really none of his business and he shouldn't try to micromanage your time. This is a red flag, IMO. Sounds like controlling behavior.

[miie]

Why does he know about this? Do you go home and complain and pour it all out to him about everything you tried on, what worked, what didn't?

Just keep it to yourself. Dont tell him you went shopping. Dont tell him about any of it.

Hes clearly frustrated and annoyed, so just leave him out.

 

I dont know, i never go into details. it might come up that i went shopping if he asks me what i did that day and usually i'll say 'but i couldn't find anything' and thats it!

[_Asti_]

Well maybe stop saying you couldn't find anything.

Or if he asks say you don't feel like discussing it with him because of his reaction and behaviours, and draw the line and change the way you go about talking to him about this.

Maybe he'll stop asking, and you'll stop telling.

[miie]

I was kind of shocked when you said that you don't shop with him but he gets upset with you over email/text when you spend time shopping. Unless it's cutting into valuable time elsewhere, which I doubt, it's really none of his business and he shouldn't try to micromanage your time. This is a red flag, IMO. Sounds like controlling behavior.

 

its certainly not cutting into any other time. i get the feeling he thinks its because i cant make up my mind or make a choice.

 

and its not that at all. I just dont like the clothes on sale or when i try them on. He doesn't get that i would like to feel comfortable wearing them.

[miie]

Well maybe stop saying you couldn't find anything.

Or if he asks say you don't feel like discussing it with him because of his reaction and behaviours, and draw the line and change the way you go about talking to him about this.

Maybe he'll stop asking, and you'll stop telling.

 

i'll try that thanks. i think he'll just assume tho.

 

many times i'll be flicking through a magazine and he'll be nosey and point to a piece of clothing he likes. But if i point to something i like - he will criticize it, turn his nose up at it. He does that with So many things i choose that i find my self second guessing everything these days.

[anu1560]

 

many times i'll be flicking through a magazine and he'll be nosey and point to a piece of clothing he likes. But if i point to something i like - he will criticize it, turn his nose up at it. He does that with So many things i choose that i find my self second guessing everything these days.

 

He is CONTROLLING. Period. Tell him that you are going to wear them and not him. So you get to decide what you want to wear.

 

I had one bf like this who would tell me what clothes I should wear, how I should wear, how I should talk and bla bla bla. Anything less than that and he would criticize me. It didn't last long. I got tired of him.

[agent1607307371]

i'll try that thanks. i think he'll just assume tho.

 

many times i'll be flicking through a magazine and he'll be nosey and point to a piece of clothing he likes. But if i point to something i like - he will criticize it, turn his nose up at it. He does that with So many things i choose that i find my self second guessing everything these days.

 

You need to tell him to worry about his own clothes and that you are old enough to dress yourself.

 

I don't want to say "OMG! He's controlling", but clothing is something that partners use to try and control with. Is it only with clothing or does he pick at other things? Is there anything else that could be causing his obsession with your shopping style?

[Yodabell]

I choose my own clothes and go clothes shopping on my own or with girlfriends. Nothing wrong with being picky - we are all different shapes and sizes and things that look good on the hanger or in a picture sometimes just don't look right on.

 

My boyfriend's come clothes shopping with me once or twice (when we both needed to get a couple of things), and he will give his opinion if I ask him. Or he will comment that something looks great, or maybe that something doesn't look so good if I'm unsure. But he wouldn't get annoyed or angry if I bought something that he didn't like that much!

[Yodabell]

its certainly not cutting into any other time. i get the feeling he thinks its because i cant make up my mind or make a choice.

 

and its not that at all. I just dont like the clothes on sale or when i try them on. He doesn't get that i would like to feel comfortable wearing them.

 

Maybe point out to him that you are making a decision in these situations - your choice is that you don't like the clothes and you would prefer to spend your money on clothes that look good on you.

 

It seems very odd that he is so bothered by your clothes shopping when he's not even there!

[annie24]

I was kind of shocked when you said that you don't shop with him but he gets upset with you over email/text when you spend time shopping. Unless it's cutting into valuable time elsewhere, which I doubt, it's really none of his business and he shouldn't try to micromanage your time. This is a red flag, IMO. Sounds like controlling behavior.

 

totally agreed, very weird.

 

have you ever been to a tall girl store?

 

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