My mom had an affair and she doesnt know i know wat do i do.

[L0stS0uL]

Ok well my parents had a divorce and yea it broke my heart but im gettin over it. But recently my dad told me that my mom had an affair with another man. This man got me a job before i knew about him and my mom. when i heard about this i completely didnt wanna work there, but my dad said that its a good job just do it and the money will b good. Now i know about my mom and this man but i dont know how to confront her about it or even talk to her about it. Shes lied to me when i tried to bring it up she just tells me oo noooo im not bothering with guys for awhile or w/e. Now i cant trust her and im honestly losing feelings for her as my mother. But she doesnt even know i know wat she did. I went to court and now i have joint custidy with them 3 days at each house, but idk now i know about them its not really wat i want. Idk wat to do, i just need some advice of how i should talk to my mom about it. B/c whenever i think about bringing it up i just cant b/c im scared b/c i love her and i dont want her to break her heaert like she broke mine. But i need to talk to her about it and i really need to get through this. So please give me sum advice on this... thanks soo much!!!

[Celadon]

Yeah, this seems like something you and your mom need to really honestly talk about, so you can clear the air.

 

Is it easy to get time alone together, without distractions? If not, then you'll have to arrange for a time to talk. Make sure it's not when she's really tired, though.

 

I'd start by just telling her how much you love her and nothing will ever change that. Then tell her something's been bugging you and you want to hear what she has to say about it. Invite her to tell you the truth. Don't start by blaming her or anything. If you want to know things, ask them (how did it start? how do you feel about it now?)

 

Be honest about how you feel (hurt, disappointed, mad etc.) and if you think you want some time to think about what she said, let her know that, so she knows where you're at.

 

Finally, I'd tell her at the end of your talk that you love her. It's a little weird, because it's sort of like you have to be the adult ... but sometimes life is like that. I hope this helps some.

[brokenpogostick]

you deserve to know the truth because her actions caused your family to split up and you to be tossed from home to home. it's only fair that he be adult enough to face the issues she created.

[charity66]

First you must realize that there are always 2 stories to every situation. If you do not feel free to talk openly with your mother, go out and buy her a card...just a simple I love you card...and write her a heartfelt letter. Tell her what your dad has told you. Tell her that you are not trying to start any trouble, just that this is making your life uncomfortable and knowing, no matter how bad it is...is better than guessing at the worst things. Explain that you are old enough to know what happened and you need to have closure on the subject so you can go on without this stress. Plus you are working for this man that your dad said this happened with so that puts you in an akward situation. If it is true, maybe your mother can talk with the other man and you can be moved to another area at work where you won't ever run into this person. If in the future, you feel it is just too much stress on you...there will be another job in your future, especially if you give your all where you are at now.

I wish you the best and please talk with you mother. It is the longest lasting relationship you will have in your life and I'm sure that you are missing the closness you once had. But as you said, she doesn't even know what is wrong and that is not fair to either of you. If you she knew someone had told you, I'm sure she will be glad to set the record straight for you. Leave the card on her pillow before bedtime ...sometimes it is easier to talk then when all is calm.

Best wishes and I hope you find peace soon.

[jaiva]

If you can't confront her face to face then write her a letter. Tell her how you feel and what you know and how you feel about what you know. I don't think it'll break her heart but its good to be able to trust your parents. This is something the can cause a serious break in the relationship between you and your mother and that's not the best thing to have I know from experience. Just be open and honest.

Jaiva

[mandi84]

Hey, my parents just separated a few months ago, and I found out that my dad had been having an affair for years with his business partner. It was very difficult for me to even be in the same room as him. I decided to write him a letter that said, not just that i knew about his affair, but also how it made me feel. How he was not the man i thought he was etc... I think a letter is the best way, that way you dont have to worry about forgetting certain things you want to say. It made me feel a a lot better when I expressed how I was feeling to him. It is going to take some time to heal, but you will. Good luck, and take care.

~Mandi