A rough week

[Nappyloxs]

I was really doing pretty well until this week.

 

I broke NC earlier this week. No response (I didn't expect one). I had stress at work to and it was difficult to concentrate. I did get some great news on a possible new job.

 

But she has been in the back of my mind all week.

 

This weekend I went out with the guys. I actually had pretty fun nights. Talked to a few women, but didn't pursue it as I know I am not really ready for dating.

 

At the end of both nights though, I just miss my ex. I miss the relationship.

 

I know I have a co-dependency problem, I am really trying to tackle.

 

I realize that for I have a problem with finding validation through women and relationships. This was even before the relationship.

 

I know I am doing 100% better than the last breakup. I really see how bad my ex. treated me, disrespected me, and that I deserve so much better than that.

 

Although, I was not perfect I did not deserve the constant threats of breakup, the flirting with other guys in my face, the constant unrealistic expectations of what a boyfriend should be.

 

I bumped into a random guy I met one night when ex., her roommate, and I were out together. I spoke with him for a bit. But it kind of just reminded me of how sometimes ex. and I could have good times out (although that night we did ended up in an argument as usual).

 

I may have a casual date this week with someone I met online. I am not putting too much stock into it. I am not even really going to treat it as a date if it happens.

 

I really need to get back to focusing on me every single day, every single hour, and every single minute.

 

I accept that I miss her and love her (even at her worst). I realize that there will be great days and bad days through this process. But it does not have to stop me from living my life to its fullest.

[tingkong]

 

I know I am doing 100% better than the last breakup. I really see how bad my ex. treated me, disrespected me, and that I deserve so much better than that.

 

Although, I was not perfect I did not deserve the constant threats of breakup

 

.

 

I hated being treated like that. Its so crappy and it hurts so much. I wouldn't say that its abuse but it def. isn't a nice thing to do and its an effective way to manipulate someone close to you.

[bart]

I really need to get back to focusing on me every single day, every single hour, and every single minute.

 

I accept that I miss her and love her (even at her worst). I realize that there will be great days and bad days through this process. But it does not have to stop me from living my life to its fullest.

 

Even though you didn't expect a response, her not contacting you back probably contributed to your rough week.

 

It's good that you're going out with friends, just keep yourself busy! You realize what you deserve from a girlfriend now, and know that your ex didn't treat you very well.

 

You will have good days and bad, it's normal, as you stated. Some days you'll think of your ex a lot, some days..not at all. It's definitely a long, and tedious process..but with time, you'll get there. I agree that you should start focusing solely on yourself right now, it will help.

 

I just wanted to say I've always loved reading your posts, I'm not sure if it's your writing style or what, but either way..they've always cheered me up! I hope you have an easier week this week.

[Nappyloxs]

Thanks guys.

 

Bart. I try to write both just to express my feelings and also to help others. I am glad I am able to help.