he told me that he misses me

[im sandra dee]

I recently became involved with a man and today when we were talking on the phone he told me that he misses me. We don't see each other every day or talk every day and we're not exclusive. I have no idea if he has been meeting or seeing other women but I assume that he has because we are not exclusive. I am beginning to like him beyond physical attraction. He is street-smart and he never says a thing to me that causes me stress. He is always offering good advice and I really admire him for who he is rather than what he has. He has been wonderful to me in so many ways.

 

When he told me that he misses me I did not reciprocate. I just said that it was unexpected but nice to hear and I told him that I think he is really nice. The truth is, I am beginning to like him beyond physical attraction and I want to tell him but I'm afraid to tell him because I have a fear of rejection. I'm not really interested in seeing anyone else at this point and I would like things to get more serious with us. How should I handle this? What should I do? We have been having sex and I'm not sure that it's a good idea to continue as is given that I now have some feelings for him. What should I do?

[DN]

If you like someone and see a future it is a mistake not to reciprocate statements like that if you do feel the same way.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

The words "I miss you" are very vague, clichéd words that can mean almost anything. It could mean he misses your company or just that he misses having sex with you. If you are starting to develop feelings for him then maybe it is time to talk to him about where he sees this going...this way you will find out if his words "I miss you" are really about you as a person or about a booty call.

[im sandra dee]

The words "I miss you" are very vague, clichéd words that can mean almost anything. It could mean he misses your company or just that he misses having sex with you. If you are starting to develop feelings for him then maybe it is time to talk to him about where he sees this going...this way you will find out if his words "I miss you" are really about you as a person or about a booty call.

 

crazyaboutdogs, I tried to ask him how he misses me to see if it's the sex that he misses and he replied that he misses my company... still I'm not sure what he meant... I am beginning to develop feelings for him not because we are having sex... I try to remain as detached as possible (if that's even possible for a woman given that sex leads to attachment due to brain chemistry differences between women and men after having sex or so I've read)... I am developing feelings for him because when I listen to things that he says I am impressed with how smart he is and I feel a genuine respect for him and he is more to me than a booty call... though I'll admit that I wanted just sex in the beginning... but now I've seen another side of him and I like him and would like to know how he feels about me... maybe I should just ask him that... what do you think?

[HeartGoesOn]

If you were not already having sex with him, I would say that his feelings are genuine. But, I also believe that if you're are the point of being intimate with someone,which says that you're comfortable with them, there should be nothing that you can't ask that person.

 

Why not bring this up with him in order to see where you stand?

[NoGimmicks]

When you say that you "tried to ask him" and then say that you are still unsure of his intentions/feelings, does that mean that he didn't give you a straight answer? Did you straight out ask him or just sort of beat around the bush?

 

You need to bluntly ask him. If he is interested in you outside of a sexual relationship, then he should have no problem answering your questions. In fact, if he's interested, he might be very excited to hear that you feel the same.

 

However, if he does not answer your questions or explains that he does not feel the same, you should most definitely move on and stop sleeping with him.

 

From my own experience, it's just too difficult to have sex with someone who does not reciprocate your feelings, but it's better to address the matter and find out what the deal is than float around in limbo land.

 

I wish you the best of luck!

[im sandra dee]

After he told me that he misses me, my first thought was that he misses me and that he wasn't saying that he misses sex with me... but then my second thought was maybe he is talking about sex... so that's when I tried to ask him by kind of asking in a flirty way what it is that he misses... and I thought he'd catch on and respond with something sexual... and he didn't... he said that he misses my company... he seemed quite sincere... I won't say that he didn't give a straight answer... he gave a straight answer but I can't interpret it... and all the while I was thinking this is something that I need answered in person not over the phone... I have plans with him tomorrow night and I plan to bring up the subject... I will tell him that I've developed feelings for him and I don't think that I can continue a sexual relationship with him without knowing how he feels about me... and that I don't expect he will develop feelings for me if we continue to have sex.

[im sandra dee]

I don't things are working out with this man that I'm involved with. I like him and he says that he likes me but he is not saying that he wants more than what we've got -- basically a "friends with benefits" arrangement (a term we never use but what else can you call it? we're not dating).

 

I did what I had to do. I told him how I feel and I told him that I don't think that I can continue a sexual relationship with him now that I like him. I enjoy having sex with him so we had sex again last night and this morning. But I think going forward, I can not do this anymore and probably shouldn't see him anymore either, I think. Hmmm. This is kind of tough. Now I like him and now I've got to give him up. It sucks.

 

In a few days he is leaving the country for a vacation and will be away for nearly two weeks. I am going to use this time to attempt to move on without him.