speak Posted August 9, 2010 Share Posted August 9, 2010 So, Last year (june 2009) I met this guy that I became friends with. We attended the same high school, but didn't really talk much until two years later after adding each other on an online social website. we ended up doing everything together. The Mall, out to eat, at eachothers house, his family's house, parties. Everything! All throughout though, he was a very possessive friend. He would get mad if I didn't want to spend my day with him, like If I wanted to be alone and have a day for myself. If we ever argued, he would bring up my family issues and such. Two days after my Dad's death, I didn't want to stay the night and he started sending me hateful text messages. Like, "Forget about my family." "You are a (blanking) loser." "You are an infected puss pocket." and just being completely insensitive. Earlier that day he was like, "Why are you listening to this music." I was like, "It's my music for grief." he said, "Whatever." And when he text me along with the other hateful messages that night, he said, "I thought my day was going to be a lot better. You ruined my day." So, why after two months of not speaking, am I missing him? Maybe my loneliness? I have thought about contacting him, but am very unsure. Thoughts? Link to comment
odile Posted August 9, 2010 Share Posted August 9, 2010 Stockholm Syndrome? Really, this "friend" sounds terrible! It really sounds like not contacting him remains your best option. Link to comment
-Sanguine- Posted August 9, 2010 Share Posted August 9, 2010 He sounds like not much of a friend.. I'd stay away. Link to comment
bearskittie Posted August 9, 2010 Share Posted August 9, 2010 DO NOT contact him he is not your friend if he can say these things to you and you are better off avoiding him blocking him and never talking to him again. Link to comment
livelarge Posted August 9, 2010 Share Posted August 9, 2010 You say that all throughout he was "a possessive friend". Where there no good times at all? Why else would you have stuck around so long? There's something to discover within yourself if you can remain friends with somebody like that. And he's not worth even missing him. Link to comment
speak Posted August 9, 2010 Author Share Posted August 9, 2010 You say that all throughout he was "a possessive friend". Where there no good times at all? Why else would you have stuck around so long? There's something to discover within yourself if you can remain friends with somebody like that. And he's not worth even missing him. I guess I stuck around because I never had many friends growing up, and he was someone that I did hang out with a lot. We had our fun moments but when I say possessive, yeah, he was when I chose to hang with another or spend alone time by myself. I guess just going through a rough time now, I am focusing more on our fun times. But I guess going through a down time now is only preparing me for better times and better people. Link to comment
speak Posted August 9, 2010 Author Share Posted August 9, 2010 Stockholm Syndrome? Really, this "friend" sounds terrible! It really sounds like not contacting him remains your best option. Yeah, I guess there is a bit of a Stockholm syndrome there. I will not contact him. I think sometimes, I need people to remind me that he is not good friend material. Link to comment
speak Posted August 9, 2010 Author Share Posted August 9, 2010 Also, my cousin lives a state away and has never met him. But she says he sounds like someone she would really dislike. She told me, "He is someone that I would have been associated with just once and ONLY once." She tells me that he sounds like someone that doesn't like themselves very much so he finds someone that may seem like they need him and he tears them down. My sister once said, "I don't know why you continue to put yourself in situations with him." Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted August 9, 2010 Share Posted August 9, 2010 He's far from a 'friend." A true friend would never abuse you in this way. Link to comment
speak Posted August 9, 2010 Author Share Posted August 9, 2010 He's far from a 'friend." A true friend would never abuse you in this way. So you really would call it abuse? I never looked at it that way until now. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted August 9, 2010 Share Posted August 9, 2010 So you really would call it abuse? I never looked at it that way until now. Absolutely! It's called "verbal abuse." Link to comment
speak Posted August 9, 2010 Author Share Posted August 9, 2010 Absolutely! It's called "verbal abuse." True. But, why would someone who says such rude, insensitive things also say at times, "I love you as a friend." Is it a way to keep someone around so that they can continue to bash you and make themselves feel better. And most of all...Why would someone say such insane things to me after my Dad died? Its so crazy? Is there a reason why some people act this way? Link to comment
catfeeder Posted August 9, 2010 Share Posted August 9, 2010 You loneliness is your intelligence telling you that you're ready to find new friends. Just because you miss the good times with the sick and abusive dude, that doesn't mean that the worst in him is worth any of it. Push yourself forward to find new interests and hobbies, and your desire for friendships will play itself out eventually. My heart goes out to you for the loss of your father. Think of him riding your shoulder and make him proud. Don't tolerate mistreatment from ANYone. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.