Longest time gone, before talking - state yours.

[GenoGeno]

I was just wondering somethings, as the days go on I can't help but think I'd like to talk to her again at some point but I've pretty much cut that down to a slim chance by deleting her from facebook, myspace and everything. Although I still have her number and she has mine. I miss her and wanna talk to her at some point and let her know I don't hate her.

 

 

What was the longest you've gone before you talked to your ex? and did they contact you or did you contact them?

I think mine has been 3 weeks...and now it's at another 3 weeks but I won't be talking to her this time. So I haven't gotten any contact yet, but with my previous ex it was 7 months and then she contacted me. We're friends now.

 

Did you delete them from everything? facebook, myspace ext.

I now have, so this is why i ask this question.

 

Did you leave the no contact on a bad note?

I guess, because she called me immature because I deleted her from everything and I never responded.

 

When you did reach contact finally, did it go well?

with my previous ex, yes.

[moonbug]

Nope, never went well, all I could notice was how much she is over me and how much I am more in love with her than ever before.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Here are my answers.

[xxsarah-2010xx]

Longest time gone, before talking - state yours.

I guess I've avoiding talking to my fiance for literally a few minutes. We always work it out fairly quickly.

 

 

What was the longest you've gone before you talked to your ex? and did they contact you or did you contact them?

I've been with my fiance for four years now so that's hard to remember. An ex I had when I was about 18, I broke up with him, over the phone - I know that was awful! - there was no contact for about 6 months and even then that was by accident meeting in the pub!

 

Did you delete them from everything? facebook, myspace ext.

There's no trace of any of my ex's whatsoever on my phone or anywhere. The closest is being friends with the brother of the ex I explained in the answer above.

 

Did you leave the no contact on a bad note?

Well yeah, in all cases really.

 

When you did reach contact finally, did it go well?

Well, he did want to get back together, he finally admitted that he did love me, it was too late by then!

[Live-N-Learn]

What was the longest you've gone before you talked to your ex? and did they contact you or did you contact them?

10 weeks of NC, she text me 3 times I only responded once because I felt I had to. Kept it short and non emotional basically telling her I did not need her concern.

 

Did you delete them from everything? facebook, myspace ext.

Yes after 7 weeks of NC

 

Did you leave the no contact on a bad note?

No, sent her a very nice text letting her know we needed some time apart and that maybe we could reconnect in the future.

When you did reach contact finally, did it go well?

Yes, and we are still talking and hanging out.

[DeepestBlue]

What was the longest you've gone before you talked to your ex? and did they contact you or did you contact them?

Today is day 1 of NC.

 

Did you delete them from everything? facebook, myspace ext.

I deleted him off MSN but not facebook because he asked me not to. I've made the decision not to go onto that account again as a result, that way he can't know what's going on in my life until I'm ready to let him know- he can only access the past memories. I also realized I need to get out more and be active/proactive about my life, so going on facebook all the time isn't terribly helpful- any reason to avoid it is a good thing in my books.

 

Did you leave the no contact on a bad note?

No. I left telling him (largely based on advice I collected from this forum) that I really enjoyed the relationship, that I cared about him a lot, that I was sorry for all the bad stuff I did like insulting him and taking him for granted. He apologized too for not communicating his unhappiness sooner so that we might've been able to fix things, and he said he was sorry for hurting me. I told him I don't hate or resent him, and put it in writing before I left- he said the same. He understands why I've gone NC, even if he isn't happy about it.

 

When you did reach contact finally, did it go well?

Don't know yet, since I've only just begun. Fingers crossed. I told him not to contact me directly unless he's interested in getting back together. He knows I can reach him any time if I "just want to be friends"- but I know I'm not willing to settle.

[jimmajam]

What was the longest you've gone before you talked to your ex? and did they contact you or did you contact them?

Seven long ass months of nothing, not even attempts on either side. I broke it with a birthday card and she sent me a reply.

 

Did you delete them from everything? facebook, myspace ext.

I took her off messengers, but didn't block her. I couldn't' take seeing her online and her not talking to me. I hate facebook and she never created one. We both had myspace, but never used it ... she either deleted me or deleted her page. Not real sure, but it doesn't matter since we never used it.

 

Did you leave the no contact on a bad note?

Nope. I contacted her, she took weeks to reply, so I responded friendly and that was it.

When you did reach contact finally, did it go well?

It went okay, but I am pretty sure nothing has changed in her mind. I sent a birthday card, she replied, being kind of cute and offered up a lot of information about what she had been up to without asking. I replied and haven't heard anything.

[completebroken]

What was the longest you've gone before you talked to your ex? and did they contact you or did you contact them?

Two years. I contacted them initially with a "Happy Birthday" and they didn't respond for another 4 months then she initiated serious contact. This isn't my most recent ex but the one before her.

 

Did you delete them from everything? facebook, myspace ext.

Not with this one. With current did.

 

Did you leave the no contact on a bad note?

No. We had agreed to go NC

When you did reach contact finally, did it go well?

The initial conversation was incredible. We both found out the other had just had a bad breakup and when talk turned serious it cooled down. We are in LNC at the moment but there is promise. She explained why the breakup had happened and we both sincerely apologized for our parts in it. Now digesting that and working on ourselves. We agreed not to jump into anything yet because the temptation is to erase the pain with a past fling but if we want it to work we both need time.

 

 

__________________

[Scotty123]

Longest time gone, before talking - state yours.

 

 

What was the longest you've gone before you talked to your ex? and did they contact you or did you contact them?

 

Well so far it's been 7 days ! No contact by either of us

 

 

Did you delete them from everything? facebook, myspace ext.

I deleted her from myspace the day she broke up with me, but I never used it anyway. I deleted my profile from the site we used to speak on a week ago when I got home from meeting with her. I haven't yet deleted her from msn but have decided that I will not sign on unless I can go online and not be upset that she doesn't speak to me. So I may not be on msn for quite some time lol

 

Did you leave the no contact on a bad note?

No I won't say it was on a bad note as such. She said it was great to see me looking so good and it was great that I took the plane journey to go and see her etc. She asked me to stay in touch and not to be a stranger, but I told her I found that hard and that I would have to be a stranger for a while. There has been no contact since then.

 

When you did reach contact finally, did it go well?

I haven't reached out to her and have no plans to unless I can cope with getting no reply. I think that may take me at least 6 mths before I'm in that place !!

[Batya33]

What was the longest you've gone before you talked to your ex? and did they contact you or did you contact them?[/b]

 

Before talking by phone it was over 6 years.

Did you delete them from everything? facebook, myspace ext.[/b]

Back then there was only e-mail. No deleting.

 

Did you leave the no contact on a bad note?

No

 

When you did reach contact finally, did it go well?

It was just to plan a get together dinner, which ended up being just a friendly dinner. But, 1.5 years later we met again, got back together and got married in 2008.

[GenoGeno]

What was the longest you've gone before you talked to your ex? and did they contact you or did you contact them?[/b]

 

Before talking by phone it was over 6 years.

Did you delete them from everything? facebook, myspace ext.[/b]

Back then there was only e-mail. No deleting.

 

Did you leave the no contact on a bad note?

No

 

When you did reach contact finally, did it go well?

It was just to plan a get together dinner, which ended up being just a friendly dinner. But, 1.5 years later we met again, got back together and got married in 2008.

 

6 years hey, wow. That's a great story. Must of felt great.

[uncomfynumb]

GenoGeno,

 

Asking these questions will only serve to keep you stuck. There are other fish in the sea and I think it is time to start focusing on your fishing skills...

 

Throw this one back...

[GenoGeno]

Uncomfynumb i understand what you're saying but you know the type of person that you just really want to keep in your life because you know if you two can get past what is happening now...you'd be the best of friends? I guess you really have to know the connection but at some point I would like to just be friends with her and the thing is...I think she would too. Right now it just needs to sit and thaw out for a pretty long time.

[Batya33]

6 years hey, wow. That's a great story. Must of felt great.

 

We e-mailed occasionally during that time period - probably two-three times a year although there was at least a year or more that went by with no emails. The emails were not personal - sometimes caught each other up on things that were going on with work or family/mutual friends but it was usually one or two emails and that was it till the next time. We emailed a few times about meeting for dinner, once, but it didn't happen until that 6 year mark.

 

The second time we saw each other - 1.5 years after the first - it was supposed to be a friendly catch up dinner. Sparks flew and the rest is history (we got back together, officially, about a month later).

[Minx2012]

What was the longest you've gone before you talked to your ex? and did they contact you or did you contact them?

 

I let 7 years slide...of absolutely no contact. At the age of 21, he made it clear that he really didn't value me more than just a booty call ( despite being each other's first loves and high school sweethearts at the age of 17. We were virgins together when we did it ). Anyway, yeah, 7 whole years of no contact.

 

Did you delete them from everything?

 

At the time we broke up at the age of 21, there wasn't Facebook yet. But I did delete him off my MSN messenger, hotmail contact list etc. I also told all mutual friends and my sibs to NOT tell him a single thing about me. I carried on with my life..went on to get wonderful University degrees, traveled around the world, worked abroad ( still working abroad ), met and lived my life as a single gal and had the best time ever

 

My ex and I finally reconnected when he added me on FB. At the time, I didn't even think much of his add friend request bc I was sooo over him. It was like , " Oh hey, it's you again " type of thing. Nothing spectacular or heart fluttering. He's now married with a baby...and we are on totally different levels / stages in our lives. But I don't feel bitter and I often wonder what the hell I saw in him. Hahaha!

 

Did you leave the no contact on a bad note?

 

Yes, it was an AWFUL " break up ". We had broken up officially at the ages of 19 years old, but kept at the on-off, booty call for 2 years, until the age of 21. From age 19 - 21, he would hide me and not tell any of his friends that he was still messing around with me. I knew, but I swallowed my pride bc I loved him and wanted him back so bad. He messed me up pretty good. For his 21st birthday, he invited me to a club. I was shocked. I thought, " Wow, he must be turning around and realising that he does love me....this might be the night he announces that I am back together with him ". Umm...NO. That was the night that he decided to show off some blonde girl ( who is now his wife ) as his NEW girlfriend to everyone there. My mouth dropped. I walked out of the club, beyond hurt ...and I never looked back

 

When you did reach contact finally, did it go well?

 

He contacted me after 7 years, on FB. He found me on there by stalking people's pages I guess. It went well, bc I was so over him. I just thought of him as some random guy that I went to highschool with. No bitter feelings, nothing. Just " Hey, how are things? Cool? Good! ".

 

ADDITIONAL QUESTION THAT I ADDED : HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW ABOUT YOUR EX ?

 

Honestly....not to be mean, but I think that he's kinda like a big loser. The immaturity is still there. Despite being married or having a baby, my newsfeed on FB is bombarded with immature rants filled with swear words on ridiculous topics like basketball players or random celebrities. He recently just finished some degree at some semi-college school on child care or early childhood education or whatever...but yet, he continues to blast the institution with swear words and comment on his classmates that he calls " stupid " or " fat with belly flab and muffin tops ". I actually wonder what the hell I saw in him, until I remember, " Oh god, shucks..we were kids in highschool back then. So much has changed! ".

 

There's absolutely no depth to his personality and I usually marvel at HOW MUCH I have changed and grown. I am BEYOND thankful that I didn't end up with him, because with the successful career that I have, there is no way that I want to support someone like that. Also, I find that I am much more adventurous, worldly and " bigger " than he is ( in terms of dreams and wanting to go beyond the whole " cookie cutter suburban, family, 2.5 kids dream " that N. America seems to be stuck in ). While I travel to far off places to watch the migration of the Serengeti in Tanzania....or white water rafting in deep valleys and gypsy villages in rural Turkey somewhere...or sitting by the Nile, listening to Nubian villagers sing a traditional song, with my beloved boyfriend of 3.5 years ( who is just as successful, adventurous and passionate as I am about LIFE AND THE BIG WORLD )....my ex is sitting at home, with his baby, flicking through the tv channels and getting all worked up by basketball players who make dumb decisions.