32 and no marriage, no kid, no house, no garden

[sad-soul]

I am feeling very low. I am single, 31 years old female. I am feeling very low in myself as I am still no married, I still have no baby. Most of my friends are married or have children or are engaged?

 

I have a relatioship with one guy, but becuase he is much older than me I cannot commit myself to him forever. he treats me right, he loves me but I feel that the age difference would be a problem for me later.

 

I feel like there is something wrong with me? I do go out but I am not so open to meeting new guys as I am scared of getting hurt. i got badly hurt in my last relationship 3 years ago.

 

I really want the love of my life, I want kids, a house and a garden. At the same time, I love being free, love to travel, to do things but most of my friends are settled and this is what brings me down?

 

Please help

[guynextdoor]

If you want all of that then the first thing you should do is get out of the relationship with the older guy you are with now. Its not fair to string him along.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

If you want all of that then the first thing you should do is get out of the relationship with the older guy you are with now. Its not fair to string him along.

 

I agree. I am not sure why you are continuing with the relationship if you see no future in it.

[Esteller]

its true let him go. in the mean time things take patients. sometimes we get impatient but in time you will find that right person but you cant keep thinking about it becuase it wont benefit you . it would just keep your mind boggling. keep your head up ok. you have to find things that you like to do that helps you feel better as well. focusing on yourself makes time go by and next thing you know you find someone. things have a weird way of working but they do. never give up.

[lana111]

im 28 and single. no sign of any family in the future. i say to people who feel like you, would you rather have all that and it not be right, or wait longer for the real deal? i know id rather never get married and start a family, than to do it when its not 100% right and have it fail.

 

i agree with others. if you want a marriage and a family... and you know thats not happening with this guy... break up so you can find that great person. being singles not that bad

[Mauxly]

Wow, 28,31 and freaking out?

I'm 40, sligthly freaked. But still, most of my girlfriends met thier husbands after they turned 33 and most of them got knocked up after 35.

 

Relax! Have fun! You are still plenty young, this is your time to enjoy yourself. Don't rush into a marriage, or you'll find yourself divorced and a single parent at the age of 45!!

[lana111]

im not freaking out!

 

im very happy with my life

[tattoobunnie]

You've got the 32 and single blues. I've had that...and you know what...it means, take a good long look at yourself. List out what you wanna do in life, and go do them!

 

Travel! See friends from other areas. Take up new hobbies. If you want a house, figure out what you need to do to get one. Change jobs for more money? Open up a mutual funds account, and start saving? Can you buy tons of plants, and similate a garden?

 

Find travel deals at link removed

 

Quit moping! It's not your friend! Just because your friends are married, doesn't mean 32 is the end of the world! Make new friends! Go to meet-ups. It works.

 

I get the blues when my life seems like nothing's going on...which means, it's time to make it count. Go volunteer. Get out of yourself. Go contribute to the world.

[Unreasonable]

They have a right to be worried. The older you get, the smaller your potential mate pool will get, especially for females. It's inevitable. Not impossible by any means, but eventually it will get exponentially harder. The fact that she won't commit to this old dude because she doesn't feel like she's in his age bracket is proof of this. Poor old guy.

 

Not trying to sound insensitive, but the 32 year olds biological clock is ticking assuming she wants her kid's Down Syndrome and other maternal age risks to stay relatively low. Not saying that's the end of the world or anything, but it's a factor.

 

Not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but if you want to have kids you need to dump this old guy right away assuming you can't live with the age difference.

[savignon]

I know tons of people who have gotten married and had (healthy!) babies in their 30s and even early 40s. When I compare myself to my parents who were married, had kids, a house and everything all by the age of 24, I considered myself way behind. My own personal reality though is that I'm similar to my friends/coworkers who found love in late 20s/early-mid-late 30s and had happy healthy kids when it was right.

I agree that the first step is to get out of the unfulfilling and dead-end relationship you are in so that you can seek out and be available for the one you want.

[lostnscared]

They have a right to be worried. The older you get, the smaller your potential mate pool will get, especially for females. It's inevitable. Not impossible by any means, but eventually it will get exponentially harder. The fact that she won't commit to this old dude because she doesn't feel like she's in his age bracket is proof of this. Poor old guy.

 

Not trying to sound insensitive, but the 32 year olds biological clock is ticking assuming she wants her kid's Down Syndrome and other maternal age risks to stay relatively low. Not saying that's the end of the world or anything, but it's a factor.

 

Not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but if you want to have kids you need to dump this old guy right away assuming you can't live with the age difference.

 

Wow...

 

I agree with you somewhat--it gets very difficult the older a woman gets to conceive, to get married, and so forth. But that doesn't mean that it's impossible, and matter of fact nowadays there are plenty of women that get married and have kids in their mid to late thirties.

 

Personally I think the OP shouldn't be too concerned about not achieving those things at her age. If she were 38 or even 39 I'd say that she can feel the way she feels, but being that she is still relatively young, she still has plenty of time. She needs to get out of that dead end relationship.