I finally did it....but i feel so alone.

[Phoenix_girl]

I am at a place where I am feeling alone, and not sure where to turn. It's been a while since I posted here last, and I guess I should start my tale at the beginning.

I met M on the internet and we started dating in July 2003. it wasnt long before I found out that I was in over my head. M was emotionally, mentally and sexually abusive. He was a charming manipulator. He would punish me by withdrawing his attention and affection.

A year after we started dating he decided he wanted a break, but still insisted on sex. In November 2005 he disappeared from my life completely. I had a miscarriage 2 months later.

I would post here about wanting him back, etc. It took me at least a year after he left me for me to come to terms with how he treated me, and 6 months to accept it. I realize he never loved me, he just used me.

In april 2008 he resurfaced. at first he seemed ok, but I was cautious and kept our contact to just online chatting. Sure enough he started telling me he had been watching me on facebook, starting talking about the sex we had had, and wanting a booty call (which he asked for after telling me he was engaged with a kid). He started pressuring me for nude photos and webcam shows. I'm ashamed to admit I let him bully me into the latter once. It was then that the fear set in and I cut off all contact with him.

But he didnt stop. Every few months he would contact me. He started emailing me asking where i was hiding. I blocked his emails and his facebook and MSN accounts, but he made new accounts.

In Jan 2010, after he made a new account to try and add me to facebook, i went to the police. The police advised me to send him an email telling him i want nothing to do with him and if he continued, i would go to the police. It took me a few days, and i was shaking the whole time, but i managed to send the email.

I didnt hear from him and I believed he had finally gotten the message. I was wrong. A few weeks ago he contacted me again - this time inviting me to join some sex site. I knew I had to go to the cops, but my friends were making me feel guilty. They told me i was overeacting, that i should just ignore him, close my accounts, etc. I didnt know what to do, but in the end i came to the decision that just ignoring him would only give him power. M knew how to manipulate me, and with his advances turning sexual, its only a matter of time before he starts preying on my insecurities.

last night I finally did it - I contacted the police and filed the report against my ex. They will contact him and advise him that he is facing criminal harassment charges.

I'm nervous about what his reaction might be but I am hopefull that I can finally put him behind me. I have not dated anyone since M, and I'm hoping ill be able to move forward and meet someone.

But I am feeling alone. As I said, my friends have not be supportive of my going to the police. For those who have gone through this, how did you deal with the loneliness. it's almost all consuming >.<.>

[misssmithviii]

You're going to be ok honey, and I think the difference between ignoring him and getting the police involved is minimal - so Idk what your friends were thinking. You're ignoring him, yet making sure that he understands the consequences.

 

I still say delete your accounts. In that way, you can avoid it altogether - he harasses you again, you contact the police yet again. There's no harm to you by doing that.

 

It'll be fine - just make sure you remember not ALL guys are like that, in fact you'll find the majority aren't, but many are bad in other ways. Just don't allow yourself to be manipulated. When you know you're being mistreated, leave. When you're being treated right, accept it and be thankful.

 

You have much of your life ahead of you still - best wishes and I'm sorry you had to endure this honey.

[catfeeder]

Any reason why you can't see your friends and just avoid him as a topic? You did the right thing, but it's really nobody else's business.