Do women see advantages in virgins?

[livingdeadguy]

I've searched around this forum and found a lot of threads (possibly/probably dated) that I myself could have written (23 year old virgin-no kissing or girlfriend, etc). Most of it boils down to people asking what should they do as a __ year old virgin (with or without dating/girl experience). Everyone seems to be airing on the side of "it's perfectly fine/normal" and there is some blame on society. But the common answer I'm seeing is you are not alone (hence the forum name) and to get out and do stuff-fake if you have to.

 

That being said, I debated on how exactly to ask this question and what to really say that would garner the best answers. So, like the thread title; do women see advantages in virgins? The obvious would be that you know they have no STD, but I'm looking for reasons (if any) beyond that.

 

Please do not list disadvantages.

 

Thanks.

 

(is it wrong that American Pie: The Naked Mile is running on loop in my head? )

[bearskittie]

us women would probably find it fun to experiment on you with new things and teach you new ways to do things lol

[Crazyaboutdogs]

It shouldn't be about teaching anyone anything...virginity should not be about a teaching-mentor role. It is just sex..not brain surgery.

[LightbulbSun]

us women would probably find it fun to experiment on you with new things and teach you new ways to do things lol

 

God bless women like you!

[Brigadoon]

What I'm thinking is this. I have the most bizarre fear of pomegranates. I know it's a bit odd so I don't bring it up when I first meet a guy I like because hey, it's a bit unusual so I kinda wait until I know him a bit better until that one comes out. Usually they laugh, look a bit mystified and then think it's kind of cute in an odd way.

Same thing with your situation. Just wait 'til you get to know a girl, don't let yourself get fazed and then when the time comes just be honest.

I know I'd actually be really honoured at the thought of being there for someones first time being so intimate. I actually think that it would make it really special for both partners to be honest.

And if you're worried about not being very good at it the first time again just relax, we don't actually think what we see in porn films is real and I know that my favourite sexual partner was an ex I was extremely close to emotionally even taking into consideration one previous to him who was an absolute sexual genius.

[Shnoodle]

I'd rather date a man who was a virgin over a man who has slept with lots of women any day of the week. Though it is glorified in our media, I doubt I'm the only woman who finds male promiscuity unattractive.

[DrKitten]

It shouldn't be about teaching anyone anything...virginity should not be about a teaching-mentor role. It is just sex..not brain surgery.

 

That's kind of up to the individuals involved, isn't it? If a virgin is willing to learn and a non-virgin is willing to teach, who's to say that's not how it should be? Sure it's not brain surgery, but doing anything new for the first time can often be improved with some guidance.

[stay_positive]

I think it's cute. I mean, it proves that you are somewhat ok with it. By that I mean you didn't go out an find a hooker. So that's a major plus. I also find it a real turn-off when a guy has slept with a lot of girls. I don't think it's a negative thing but actually a good thing.

[pinkelephant]

hahaha @ Not brain surgery. ya, it really isn't, but it's kind of exciting. I like it, it feels a little dirtier...

[dragon lady]

I'm only guessing here because I have no statistics on this subject, but I think virgin men are often attractive to virgin women, particularly if religion is involved. You'd be more likely to find a virgin woman who wants a virgin man than a non-virgin woman who wants one. Sure, there are those who like to "teach" virgin men, but I'd say these are relatively rate. There are also women who just don't care either way. They only want a good guy. In which case, being a virgin is not going to be an advantage, it's just neutral.

[MD Geist]

It shouldn't be about teaching anyone anything...virginity should not be about a teaching-mentor role. It is just sex..not brain surgery.

 

Either way he will be learning something new and if she's a non virgin she's gonna be leading like it or not. I would find it interesting if a non-virgin girl expected her virgin man to lead the way the first time they've had sex.

 

Although I wouldn't doubt it.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I wouldn't say I "prefer" virgins as sexual past really doesn't matter to me.

 

But, it would be nice to play teacher.

[jahur]

I would find it interesting if a non-virgin girl expected her virgin man to lead the way the first time they've had sex.

 

yes that would be interesting!!! lol

 

i needed my first to lead the way, as i had no experience whatsoever! so i was always grateful of that, what i wasnt happy about that she bragged about it, as if i was some sort of trophy! i was never a hyman hunter myself, never had a virgin so cant really say.

 

anyhow NOT all women trophy hunters, but to be balanced men do the same, trophy that is!

[livingdeadguy]

us women would probably find it fun to experiment on you with new things and teach you new ways to do things lol

 

In the back of my mind, I was hoping for 8 pages worth of answers akin to this.

 

That's kind of up to the individuals involved, isn't it? If a virgin is willing to learn and a non-virgin is willing to teach, who's to say that's not how it should be?

 

Thou shalt not argue

 

I think it's cute. I mean, it proves that you are somewhat ok with it. By that I mean you didn't go out an find a hooker. So that's a major plus. I also find it a real turn-off when a guy has slept with a lot of girls. I don't think it's a negative thing but actually a good thing.

 

In theory, could getting a hooker to lose it be compared to sleeping with a lot of girls? Obviously the numbers are vastly different, but maybe similar in terms of the negative aspects? (there is a thought here....just not sure if i'm communicating well-at all.

 

Anyway, thanks all for the answers.

 

Dare I ask at one point does the age of said virgin come into account?

[Sparkly Eyes]

In theory, could getting a hooker to lose it be compared to sleeping with a lot of girls? Obviously the numbers are vastly different, but maybe similar in terms of the negative aspects? (there is a thought here....just not sure if i'm communicating well-at all.

 

Honestly, to me they are not that different. Many might disagree, but that's how I see it.

 

Being a virgin is the biggest turn off when you just can't stop talking about it, no matter the age. A confident guy can get away with it easily IMO.

[waveseer]

I would be wary of a man in my age range who was still a virgin. I would be concerned that his celibacy was not voluntary and/or he has a health problem.

[livingdeadguy]

Honestly, to me they are not that different. Many might disagree, but that's how I see it.

 

Being a virgin is the biggest turn off when you just can't stop talking about it, no matter the age. A confident guy can get away with it easily IMO.

 

Cool, you actually did understand what I was trying to say. But I want to add another possibility: the one night stand. Start a night with a goal to find someone and get it over with. Better/worse/same than/as the others? (although the one with multiple could be a bunch of one night stands).

 

So what I'm reading is that for a certain amount of time it's okay (of course it is!). Even better if the person is comfortable with it. But at a certain age, it could become a concern.

I suppose the whole religious thing speaks for itself in terms of how long you wait? (doesn't apply to me, just curious)

[Brigadoon]

Cool, you actually did understand what I was trying to say. But I want to add another possibility: the one night stand. Start a night with a goal to find someone and get it over with. Better/worse/same than/as the others? (although the one with multiple could be a bunch of one night stands).

 

So what I'm reading is that for a certain amount of time it's okay (of course it is!). Even better if the person is comfortable with it. But at a certain age, it could become a concern.

I suppose the whole religious thing speaks for itself in terms of how long you wait? (doesn't apply to me, just curious)

 

My honest advice here? Go buy a couple of books like the joy of sex etc and read up on the basics ie if she says would you like backwards cowgirl you know what she means etc.

Come back here and ask any questions you like about basic warming up, what people usually do, a kind of rough running order if you like, and just say nothing and go with it.

Whether you decide to have a few one night stands or wait for a relationship is up to you.

If you were a bit hesitant I'd say I'd put it down to you being gentle and respectful and I really do have to stress that I was with one guy who was in his mid thirties, had previously been married for about ten years and he hadn't a clue what he was doing and he'd been at it for a decade!!!!

You don't have to know exactly what she wants because one of the hardest things to teach guys is that we want you to ask us, not just charge in there like a bull in a china shop. So relax because chances are that the fact that you're the type of guy who's here posting about this and is giving it masses of thought means you've a really high probability of being a good lover

On a sidenote the best lovers I've had have been complete and utter nerdy boys - probably because reading up on the subject wasn't a completely alien concept to them

[MD Geist]

what i wasnt happy about that she bragged about it, as if i was some sort of trophy!

 

I would take that as a compliment if she did that with me.

 

There's something sexy about a woman who dominates and leads the way in the bedroom. Don't get me wrong id love to be with an inexperienced woman, thats always my first choice. Otherwise I wouldn't cared if she shared that with her girlfriends at all that she had her way with a virgin cause most likely she would. They should look at that way, they should be just as sexually charged to deflower a man as much as we are to a virginal woman.

[livingdeadguy]

Maybe, it's just me (and my being a virgin), but I would have no problem being given instructions on what she wants me to do. Her pleasure, my learning experience, yes? That being said, I probably will charge in (because of human nature?)

 

I've never wanted to actually claim that myself, but I have semi believed that the nerds rule (Revenge of the Nerds).

 

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to Amazon for the Kama Sutra (aye, go big or go home).

 

seriously though, i may need to print out and frame that post.

[Fudgie]

Back in high school when I was dating guys around my own age, I pretty much only dated virgins. I didn't want anyone with a "player" rep or anyone who had a risk of giving a nice little STD. I wasn't having sex, but I was giving bjs.

 

I just had a nice feeling with being with a virgins. All the guys I was with, I was their "first girl" to date and do anything with. I just liked it because there was no ex-gf drama, I didn't have to worry about STDs, and it was cool showing them the "ropes" because of course, I was a little more experienced and I think they enjoyed learning things from me and they knew that I wouldn't berate them or make fun of them.

 

but MOST of all, I found that the virgin guys were more slow about things. I was not the type to be wanting to do sexual things all the time. They wanted to take things slow, unlike other guys that I had heard about who were experienced and wanted to GET IT ON. Just wasn't for me. I liked being with guys who would respect my slower pace.

[ButterflyK]

Yeah, virgins (especially older ones) I think are less likely to cheat/run astray.

 

Also we can condition you to do whatever we want (; So you become ours. You don't think about exes or anything ever, so as far as you know we're the best at everything... does that make sense? Mmm.

[Fudgie]

Yep virgins are awesome.

 

I'd take a virgin guy OR a guy with very few sexual partners over an "experienced" guy any day.

 

Like I said, less drama overall. My boyfriend has only had 3 sexual partners (including me) and he's 58. I've had 2 including him. I think it's kind of cute when he seems "unsure" at times. It makes me smile.

[elle83]

hmmm i deflowered a virgin. i really liked that quality about him because he wasn't a manwhore. i kinda liked teaching him things although i wasn't all that experienced either. but the best part about it, was the chemistry and bond we had during his first time. i wanted it to be a great experience for him since he had chosen to lose it to me... (and not his exes heheh...)

[Brigadoon]

I've never wanted to actually claim that myself, but I have semi believed that the nerds rule (Revenge of the Nerds).

 

Amen to that.

And there is NOTHING more arousing to me than the size of a mans brain