Considering another attempt at celibacy

[Blue Spiral]

I've kind of painted myself into a corner, here.

 

Long story short: years ago, I tried monogamy. It made me miserable, I was completely incapable of it...but, worst of all, I hurt someone else in the process. Despite not having much in the way of emotions, I'm an extraordinarily soft person, and it really disturbed me. Not wanting to hurt anyone else, I tried to be celibate--but it didn't last all that long.

 

I eventually switched to FWB, and it mostly worked. It was (and is) the all-around safer option, at least for me. I felt more relaxed and well-adjusted than I ever had before. Some (well, maybe most) of the women developed some level of feelings for me, but they were able to keep it under control. Until yesterday.

 

Long story short part two: drama, her wanting more and me obviously incapable of giving it. etc. She's incredibly sweet, and I inadvertently hurt her. She's actually apologized to me since then, saying that she knew what I was and wasn't capable of upfront, but even so...I'm considering just being a hermit again. And please don't think I'm being self-sacrificing, here. I'm just selfish; I don't want to go through the guilt again.

 

And for me, no FWB does indeed mean being a recluse. I don't like being social, the only reason I do it is for survival reasons (work, groceries) and sex. Take sex out of the equation, and I'm incredibly antisocial.

 

I'm being overly optimistic, though. I doubt I'd make it more than a few months, if that long. But I'm hating myself enough to give it a try.

[LightbulbSun]

If you feel you'd be better off single, more power to you, man.

 

I know I would never choose a life of celibacy, if I had a choice. But again, more power to you.

[hannah_k]

While it's admirable to care (in some way) for the people you affect, there's not much you can do if you're up front. I dunno if that helps, but I wouldn't blame you.

[Day_Walker]

I think that while in the process of finding a person that you want to spend a significant time in a relationship it would be naive to think that you arent going to hurt people along the way. That doesnt mean that you should try to intentionally hurt another person but you have to be honest with yourself and the people that you get involved with.

 

That is all you can do.

[dancingcolors]

I don't choose celibacy. I just get stuck with it. What is FWB?

[Blue Spiral]

FWB = friends with benefits.

 

My attempt at celibacy has already ended, ironically.