bri427 Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 i hate ranting and feeling hopeless...but there are moments when im at my lowest and even tho i know i can pick myself up again...i just want to lay there and cry for what seems like hours on end. ever since me and my ex fiance (BU in January) i have tried dating and meeting new ppl...after a lot of mishaps and trying to find myself moments...finally i came to peace with just myself for once. some of the guys were ok, but most turned out to be complete losers and waste of time. everything will go smooth, and i do every right by the book. dont act clingy, stay tru to myself, be honest, give them space when neccassary...etc! it just doesnt get me anywhere. time and time again...another loser comes in, then leaves! im so worn out of even attempting chances wit these guys. but i just keep having hope that eventually one of the chances i give is put to good use. im a wonderful person, i try hard to be that way. i just want the pain to stop...i just dont want to be lonely anymore! Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Do you feel like you are over your ex? Link to comment
bri427 Posted July 5, 2010 Author Share Posted July 5, 2010 yeah...me and my ex are very clear where we stand with eachother. we are fine with loving eachother deep dwn inside and not having contact. we kno it jus hurts way too much to be around one another in any way right now. im over that and ive accepted all the pain and empotion that came with it...now its just all the other losers adding on to it for no apparent reason. they just fuk it up or leave. Link to comment
lovebyproxy Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 I hate to say this, as I hated to hear it while being in your situation. True honest wonderful relationships seem to come around when you are not looking for one. I can attest to this. I have found trying to concentrate on myself while feeling lonely and helpless is a big help. It's not easy, I know this, just try one little thing a day, even if you don't feel like (which I'm sure you don't) Go for a run, learn to cook a new dish, read a great book. Build your own foundation first, then anything can be built upon it. best wishes, chin up Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 yeah...me and my ex are very clear where we stand with eachother. we are fine with loving eachother deep dwn inside and not having contact. we kno it jus hurts way too much to be around one another in any way right now. im over that and ive accepted all the pain and empotion that came with it...now its just all the other losers adding on to it for no apparent reason. they just fuk it up or leave. How long are these pseudo relationships lasting and are you getting intimate before you get into a relationship with these guys? Link to comment
catfeeder Posted July 6, 2010 Share Posted July 6, 2010 How long did you give yourself to grieve your ex before throwing yourself back into dating? It almost sounds like you went straight from being someone's fiance one day right into trying to find another relationship. It sounds rushed and manic and compulsive, and the results could be telling you to pipe down and be alone for a while--without the hunt. Link to comment
bri427 Posted July 6, 2010 Author Share Posted July 6, 2010 MS DARCY> they really aint relationships at all. we tlk, we meet, have a great time things go good and thats that...their gone. its nerve racking to be pushed so far mentally and emotionally and barely drag enough energy to give any guy a chance these days and once i do...its always a waste so far. i kno in order to find the right one, u gotta meet alot of wrong ones. ugh lol. CATFEEDER> we have been broken up for 6 months now...i didnt go out right away and i took my time gettin back out there. they do not ever get physical anymore..the first few guys were, and i learned to treat myself better than that. oddly to say its not rushed in my mind because i simply do not ask nething from them...we have great times and get along but then they just leave and never hear from them again. im struggling with finding out why and although i dont think i "look" for anything, i just give ppl chances when it seems possible itd be different, and it usually never is so far. . thanks guys for the support everyone!! Link to comment
catfeeder Posted July 6, 2010 Share Posted July 6, 2010 Dating and forming a relationship are two different things. Lots of people just meet to try people on like shoes--to see if they fit. When you're dating after a breakup, you may not realize that you bring some of your relationship patterns with you. It's natural. You've been with someone long enough and intensely enough to have been engaged, and so you're accustomed to operating like a person in a relationship. Casual daters aren't thinking in those terms. If you intend to meet men who are dating casually, you'll need to understand that odds are against clicking into a relationship--and that doesn't mean there's anything 'wrong'. It just means that not everybody is meant to fall in love with everybody else. If it were that simple, love wouldn't be rare--and there would be nothing special about it. Glad to hear you're not getting sexual with casual daters anymore. You've adjusted your thinking in terms of valuing your body, now just do the same with your mind and spirit. Taking rests from the dating scene can put things back into perspective. It's not just about resting to grieve a breakup, it's about resting whenever things get frustrating. Otherwise you bring that into the next date--people can smell it, and it's not something you can hide. Your best perspectives and discretion will always come from a place of solidity and relaxation inside yourself. When you lose that, take a long enough breather to relax get it back before seeking the next date. In your corner. Link to comment
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