coolgirl Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Right after the Divorce was final I told my EX that I no longer wanted to be in contact with him, I didnt want any sort of communication with him because him being around was not helping the fact that I needed and wanted to move on. He KNEW about it from that momment. He kept going in/out of my life for about a year and a half and I have to get the shaft like this ? He KNEW that how much of a hard time I was having trying to accept the fact that he's not a part of my life. Still he kept going in/out for what ? If he would had left that time right after everything was final yes it would had been easier for me to move and get on with my life. That be understandable. It would had been easier for me to forget everything. A year and a half for what ? I dont understand what I did so wrong to deserve this. He also knew how much of a hard time I was having with the Divorce as well still after a year and a half. I told him so many many times to get out of my life but didnt listen. I've been miserable for the past 6 weeks. I cant stop crying, My sleep has been out of whack again for 2 weeks now. I'm depressed. And cant seem to get better anytime soon. I never though in my entire life I could hate him this much. Because I do. So much. I really dont want to go through the process hf healing and coping it can take me months to get over something like this. Because I do feel miserable. Link to comment
Citlali Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Why do you allow him to be part of your life? What did he do? Call you? Show up at your house? E-mail you? Why didn't you ignore him? Did he force you to listen? Link to comment
coolgirl Posted July 1, 2010 Author Share Posted July 1, 2010 Why do you allow him to be part of your life? What did he do? Call you? Show up at your house? E-mail you? Why didn't you ignore him? Did he force you to listen? He wanted to stay friends and thought it was the right thing. And I didnt so he knew from the beginning i was not so keen on keeping this friendship with him. I kept talking him out of it and to leave me alone and not to contact me and not talk to each other for a while until i have completed healed and moved on and I haven't. Everytime, i would have the talk with him he kept showing back. I havent really haven't healed from it because of the constant contact that was going on back/fourth. He knew how much of a hard time I was having with the divorce, he knew of the hard time i was having with seeing him as well cuz everytime I would had seen him I would end up going home crying like a little girl. And out of nowhere and left unexpected. Link to comment
Puckdog27 Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Seems to me you're placing blame on him for something you were just as much a part of. Link to comment
Citlali Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Ok, but unless he threatened to harm you in some way if you didn't e-mail or call or meet with him, then you allowed him to be a part of your life, which in turn led to your depression. You could and should have simply ignored him if you knew you couldn't heal AND talk to him. You chose not to, though. No one forced you. You participated in it. If you want to make progress, then you have to ignore him. He won't stop if he knows you will respond. Plus, unless he is mentally deficient, it was sufficient that you 'had the talk' about needing space just once. If he didn't get it, then that was his problem. You didn't have to keep trying to explain and should have just ignored him. Link to comment
DN Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Time to let go and move on. So long as you view him as an enemy he is still occupying your mind, time and attention and that is hindering your progress. Link to comment
turnera Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Uh...so why don't you just change your phone number and email? Why don't you block him on FB? What you are saying makes no sense when it is YOU who doesn't HAVE to take his call. Link to comment
savignon Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 I understand how hurt you and perhaps all the contact made you hopeful at the time or it eased the pain. For some reason or another, you allowed him to be a part of your life and now it sounds like you don't want that anymore. Some ideas are to not accept his calls, block his phone number, stop visiting with him, delete his emails, block his texts.... Link to comment
turnera Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 I agree. You probably weren't really ready to let go...until you were. Now that you are, just block him. Link to comment
BunnyTee Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 As long as you allow him to come and go as he pleases, this is a *you* thing as much as it is a *him* thing. Lock it all down, enforce a zero tolerance policy on all fronts and you'll find peace. Continue to allow and tolerate the nonsense and it's nothing but a self-created cesspool. Link to comment
april15 Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 Coolgirl, you can do this. You can move forward. YOU can ignore him and stop letting him back into your life. Easy to say, hard to do, but you CAN do it. The sooner you do, the sooner you can start healing and finding your way out of the circle of emotional stress you have been living in for the last year and a half. Link to comment
coolgirl Posted July 1, 2010 Author Share Posted July 1, 2010 Ok, but unless he threatened to harm you in some way if you didn't e-mail or call or meet with him, then you allowed him to be a part of your life, which in turn led to your depression. You could and should have simply ignored him if you knew you couldn't heal AND talk to him. You chose not to, though. No one forced you. You participated in it. If you want to make progress, then you have to ignore him. He won't stop if he knows you will respond. Plus, unless he is mentally deficient, it was sufficient that you 'had the talk' about needing space just once. If he didn't get it, then that was his problem. You didn't have to keep trying to explain and should have just ignored him. Yea, you know when we were talking on/off or seeing each other on/off its really difficult getting through to him because he's been stone cold for a while and it was like everything would fall on deaf ears. I cut communication more than i can say 20 times or maybe more I didnt keep count. And really i'm hoping he's gone for good maybe I can find it now to heal and move on because I was held back alot from that year and a half. And didnt get anywhere with my life. I was feeling miserable for the past 6 weeks that he's been gone for good. Maybe, now I can concentrate on going back to the way I was before. Link to comment
coolgirl Posted July 1, 2010 Author Share Posted July 1, 2010 Uh...so why don't you just change your phone number and email? Why don't you block him on FB? What you are saying makes no sense when it is YOU who doesn't HAVE to take his call. I have changed my email. As far as phone number and FB i'm having a bit of a hard time coming to terms with changing/ blocking as well. Link to comment
coolgirl Posted July 1, 2010 Author Share Posted July 1, 2010 I understand how hurt you and perhaps all the contact made you hopeful at the time or it eased the pain. For some reason or another, you allowed him to be a part of your life and now it sounds like you don't want that anymore. Some ideas are to not accept his calls, block his phone number, stop visiting with him, delete his emails, block his texts.... Yea, you know and I feel stupid because of this cuz I didnt know this was coming at all. Your right I dont want it anymore cuz its hurtfull when you once cared about a person, and lived with, slept with, been married too and tried to be your friend with and they turn there back on you and leave without saying anything at all. I wasn't expecting this coming at all. I feel more stupid because I didnt know this year and a half was nothing but playing these ridicoulas games with me. And I just didnt see it. It was like I was blinded by all this. Link to comment
coolgirl Posted July 1, 2010 Author Share Posted July 1, 2010 Coolgirl, you can do this. You can move forward. YOU can ignore him and stop letting him back into your life. Easy to say, hard to do, but you CAN do it. The sooner you do, the sooner you can start healing and finding your way out of the circle of emotional stress you have been living in for the last year and a half. I told him once he's gone he's gone and he has NO right to come back at all. I told him i never want to see him again, nor talk to him again and not put up with his family again. And you know the thing is I never thought I could hate him this much. Link to comment
turnera Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 But it is YOU who is perpetuating it. You do see that, right? You SAY you don't want him in your life, but you 'have a bit of a hard time' not answering his call. Either you want him, or you don't. If you don't, just stop. Link to comment
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