Just need to vent aloud

[Shylight]

*sigh* I'm typing this just to rant, I need to get all these thoughts out, if I don't, I'll be badgering my friends...Warning: I'm extremely angry, so this post is going to be filled with terrible, nasty comments. That if you've been someone who's been reading my posts, I'd refrain from reading more of these

 

My lover (FWB) and I have been sleeping together for four months now, two months into our 'friendship' his ex girlfriend unexpectedly showed up to town from accross the state and 'stayed over' that night. I was hurt, it honestly really, digustingly hurt even when he and I weren't in a relationship. Now two months later, he decides to invite her up for a nice, little, four day weekend stay .

 

I cannot help but feel hurt. (Please, refrain from consistently reminding me that it's ok for him to do this because I'm not in a relationship with him, I understand this, but i can't help that it hurts) I sickens me, and I have been sick for two weeks ever since I found out he was doing this, and now it's just a few days until his girlfriend shows up and I find myself angry, hurt, lethargic, and completely depressed. I'm sitting here fantasizing about hurting him and her. I admit that I'm obsessed over him. I'm ashamed to admit this. I keep seeing him and her in bed together over and over again and it just makes me sick as hell.

 

His family thinks were together, they tease us constantly about it. I'm almost considered an inlaw. His family is going to entertain on the July 4th sunday, and I have this sick sadistic thought knowing he's going humiliate himself by bringing his girlfriend up to this party instead me. Knowing his family, they are all going to be wondering why he's brought an ex-girlfriend over the person they think he's with. I want to laugh in his face.

 

I will NEVER, EVER get into a FWB situation again. Ever again. No sex out of relationships for me either.

 

After his girlfriend leaves, I'm breaking it off with him....it's funny because he has a weird work schedule, and I am usually the only one available to be with him on his days off. He hates being alone, and admits that he is dependent on me.I can only imagine how upset he's going to be when I not only deny him sex, but I don't offer him the prized company he craves constantly.

 

I wantto go up to him right now and say "Listen, if you invite her up here than its over with us, four nights of you and your ex, and you lose me for the months ahead."

 

He also tells me he doesn't want a relationship with her, I doubt that, nor do I believe it. He said he'd always have a thing for her. "I'd never get back in a relationship with her, I can't trust her".

 

"Yeah right." I think.

 

I do not know how I'm going to function next weekend. I just don't I already know it's going to destroy me.

 

Very sorry to those who have read this all the way through and am concerned because I sound like I'm a nut.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

No, you don't sound like a nut..you sound like any normal woman or man who has developed feelings for someone which are not reciprocated and you learn that the person is spending time with someone else. I don't think you really need to "break up" with him...just keep declining his requests for sex and company...he will get the message.

[1guygirl]

its so hard when you have these feelings so strong and yet under the situation peeps would even say you dont have a right to them feelings...YES YOU DO, you are a human being with a heart, with love to give, and if i were you, youre in a loose/loose situation right now so i would tell him the FWB has to end now and why...you love him. then just go. you owe it to yourself to do this, he may even want you too...who knows...if he doesnt then you love yourself more and walk away

 

you deserve to be in a relationship where you love is returned

[Shylight]

Not to mention he has very little idea about the extreme discomfort I have over this. He has invited me over and I feel like I need to go to keep up the prominade of being ok with this until his girlfriend is gone.

[savignon]

I cannot help but feel hurt. (Please, refrain from consistently reminding me that it's ok for him to do this because I'm not in a relationship with him, I understand this, but i can't help that it hurts)

 

After his girlfriend leaves, I'm breaking it off with him....

 

 

 

You CAN help but feel hurt. You've made a choice to continue this relationship even knowing it makes you "sick". I'm not saying that to berrate you but rather to empower you. You have CHOICES and your choice has been to carry on with him knowing he doesn't want a relationship and hooks up with his ex when he gets a chance and that it makes you feel like crap.

There's no reason whatsoever to wait until "after his girlfriend leaves" to break up with him. In fact, there's no breaking up to do since your'e not going out. In other words, you can start healing NOW...without any kind of conversation with him. The next time he invites you out, SAY NO. He texts you, DON'T RESPOND. He calls...IGNORE IT!! Start healing TODAY....not "after the weekend".

I imagine if you give him an ultimatum, he'd choose his g/f so the only reason that would be a good thing to do would be to remind you in a harsh "tough love" kind of way that you are not his girlfriend, you are not in a relationship and that you need to move on.

I hope you choose differently in the future so that you stop feeling so awful about yourself.

Best wishes.