Okay, I went down the police station today and said.

[coolgirl]

Okay, so I went to the police station today and talked to an officer about trying to regain my stuff back from my ex's place. This is what he said that I need to do. Go down to civil court talk to the judge and tell him why I need my stuff back ( which I think its ridicoulas) and get a court order fourm from the judge and him being served with the papers that its okay for me to enter their place with the help of a constiable. Why, the constiable if we end up in an argument or fight. Which I barley think thats going to happen. And both him and I need to appear in court before I can go over and grab my stuff. That's the last thing I want to go to court. I dont understand why this has to be difficult. It would had been really helpfull if he just done this without an hassell.

 

The officer said that once 2 parties separate stuff needs to be split half and half and I told the officer that he said I could have everything there is and there is nothing there for him because its all my stuff not his. I told him just want my personal belongings which is about 2-3 boxes and thats about it how hard can it be. I told the officer that he can get rid of the other stuff but I dont wanna have to go down to court just to get 2-3 of my personal boxes. Before I even start the process should I disucss this with my lawyer ?

[Jetta]

Yes get legal advice on this matter. The laws vary by state, and country (not exactly sure where you're living now), but your attorney can give you the best method for obtaining your belongings. Good luck.

[catfeeder]

Considering what your lawyer charges per minute, wouldn't it be cheaper just to buy new stuff?

 

A small claim is, well--as small and perfunctory as it gets. If your stuff is that valuable, then that's how to get it. If it's not worth the hassle, then why has this become so important to you?

 

I guess the question becomes, is it about the stuff, or is it about seeing the ex to get it? If it's truly about the stuff, then the method doesn't matter.

[Puckdog27]

I don't understand what you feel is ridiculous....its not the job of the police to get peoples stuff back. If your stuff had been stolen, it would be their job to catch the theif as a law has been broken.

 

The civil court is tasked with settling disputes between two parties when no laws have been broken. What the officer told you is correct and you don't require an attorney to do it. You simply file a claim, a hearing will be held and a decision rendered.....surely you've seen shows like Judge Judy...that's how these things work, just with out the tv cameras and drama

[FathomFear]

Agreed. I'm not exactly sure what you were expecting. The law doesn't take sides. You have a right to your stuff but he also has a right not to have people randomly barge into his apartment. There's due process for everything and this is no exception.

[coolgirl]

Agreed. I'm not exactly sure what you were expecting. The law doesn't take sides. You have a right to your stuff but he also has a right not to have people randomly barge into his apartment. There's due process for everything and this is no exception.

 

I just want my personal belongings back thats about it. Its only 2-3 boxes and dont really understand how hard this can be. And plus I'm not barging into his folks place. Beside I would need a court order fourm to do that and thats what I am trying to do. I'm not trying to embarrass myself or anyone else for that matter but unfortuanly he does not have the decseny just to give my stuff without any hassell and believe me going to court is the last place I want to go and grab my stuff I'm not looking for any headache.

[karvala]

If you let him know that you're planning to get a court order for your stuff, and you've got a meeting with your attorney on x date about it, and that you'll be moving to have the costs passed on to him, he might decide it's not worth the hassle and just give you yours stuff back. Depending on your relationship with his folks, you might also talk to them about it. Actually going to court is an option, but it can be costly (and I doubt you'll actually be awarded costs) so it has to be the last resort here.

[coolgirl]

If you let him know that you're planning to get a court order for your stuff, and you've got a meeting with your attorney on x date about it, and that you'll be moving to have the costs passed on to him, he might decide it's not worth the hassle and just give you yours stuff back. Depending on your relationship with his folks, you might also talk to them about it. Actually going to court is an option, but it can be costly (and I doubt you'll actually be awarded costs) so it has to be the last resort here.

 

I dont want to threaten the guy with the court thing. My thought on this is how to apporach him like this without threatening him. Well I thought my relationship with his folks was okay but we've not spoken sense his and our divorce after a year and a half ago and dont think he has an understanding mother. So were in no talking phase.

[monkeygirl12]

well since you cant do anything else to get your stuff, then your only option is going through small claims...i think that once hes served the papers to attend or you tell him then he might just give it to you..you dont have to threaten him to tell him "we have small claims court to get my stuff back on such and such date" that should take care of everything...

 

I find it very rare that he doesnt want to give your stuff back..I would list things and write them down of what you know are in the boxes and date it so when you go to small claims before anything gets settled and given back to you, you can tell the judge what you expect in the boxes and anything missing he will be held accountable for.