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the sequence towards asking a girl out!


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hi all


i just broke up with my gf of 4 years 3 months ago, so im pretty rusty in this dating game. anw, recently i have been volunteering at this daycare centre, where i take care of a class of children age 6-12.


one day there was a new teacher that joined us. shes around my age, early 20s, and shes a really sweet and nice girl. and it was not long before i started to have feelings for her...


so the question is, now i have barely just known her. im currently on a 2 weeks vacation overseas so i would not be seeing her for the time being, but i would be back at the centre eventually. i really know whats the appropriate steps i should take once im back at the centre.


im aware i shldnt be too pushy or aggressive. i got some stuff while holidaying and am thinking of giving it to her when i get back...but is this appropriate? since we are just friends, will giving her gifts from overseas seem awkward and inappropriate or will she like it?


i try to maintain a confident and mature front when i interact with her. so far i have carried myself well...but i think im acting too serious...how should i act when im around her?


when is the right time to ask for her number?


when is the right time to ask her out?


what are the things i shld do to gain her attention and probably close up the distance between us?


i also notice she would not look at my in the eyes when she talks to me, even thouggh she smiles and talks nicely...is she shy?


what should i say casually to walk her to the busstop after work? sth like.. "hey im gg to the busstop..wanna come along?"


any advice wld be appreciated!

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Man i remember the first time i got thrown back into the dating game after being in a relationship that lasted 7 years. I hardly recognized it, and it was WAY different to when i was last single in my teens. The game's still the same but the rules have changed, and it took me a long while to get back to the flow of it. So i understand where you're coming from.


The first thing i noticed about your post was that its a workplace issue. Many here are against it, FYI. Also you're dealing with children, and i believe there's a whole issue there in regards how adults should be behaving around each other when around THEM.


Also, at the moment your relationship with her is strictly business. You've mentioned what you want to do/happen but buddy, has she given you any signs or clues that she wants something more than a professional relationship?


Does she touch you (non sexual) when she talks?

Does she often go out of her way for no particular reason to ask you something dumb or to just simply make her presence known?

Does she initiate conversations? And if she does, are there any personal questions about you? OR they strictly work related?


These are from my own personal checklist that i keep everytime i meet a new woman. There are more, these are just from the top of my head.


Make sure she shows signs of interest first before you make any sort of move, as it looks like you've been thinking about her for some time now and have started playing out fantasies. I do it too, and i'm here to tell you, its not good for us!

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oh no, thanks mate! im currently holidaying down under, at cairns and brisbane!


anyway, ur pretty much right. i've been playing way too much fantasies out in my mind, and its time to get my feet back to earth. i guess we are still quite foreign to each other, and i must give each other some time to get to know each other better and see whether she develops any interest in me. wouldnt want to scare her away!


so whaddaya reckon i shld do now? keep it cool and act normally?

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Hope your enjoying this fair country! And the weather's nice despite it being winter. But cairns is never cold!


Keep it cool, keep it professional. It sounds like you have plenty of time to work things out and that my friend is a luxury. Take it from somebody who used to move all the time because of work, and everytime i met a girl i was always under a time limit - never a good thing.


Drop little signals every once in a while. If you want, tease her a little bit for fun (nothing serious), do it front of the kids even. They usually get a kick from it.


Be careful though and don't friendzone yourself. The playful teasing should keep you away fromt he dreaded zone. Good luck.

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