I saw him today after a year and 3 months

[dancingcolors]

Hi. I posted a couple of other threads a few weeks ago about how I was with a guy for 2 years, and how he left me without telling me for another woman. We had no contact for 1year 3 months. Well, not exactly, I sent an occasional email or letter, and once a hat I crocheted for him. Never a single response from him.

 

When he left me, I was extremely devastated, to the point I gave away all my stuff and moved to another state. I just came back to where I lived in the relationship a couple of weeks ago. I sent an email saying I was back, no response as usual.

 

We are both 57, not spring chickens. Anyway, I am still in love with him, and definitely not over him. I make jewelry for a living and today I went to sell at a small crafts fair on the highway between his town and mine. This fair was so small and bad, hardly anyone came. I was sitting there, crocheting a hat when I heard my name. I looked up and there is was, after a year and 3 months of not seeing him, with his new woman, the one he left me for. The first thing he says, after all this time is "Do you want to meet Kathy?" I was sitting there kind of stunned, and she says "I doubt it" and runs away. He proceeds then to say in my booth and talk to me for an hour.

 

The conversation was basically me, telling him, what a rat he was to me, and him admitting it. He says he never loved me, and he loves her. He says he thinks of me often, and I am always with him. He said he wanted to email me many times but never did. Then I told him my counselor this winter said our relationship sounded extremely painful and I never got closure. Then he says he wants to call me, he still has the phone numbers I sent him this winter that he ignored and are they still my number. It turns out he read all the communications I sent him. I say no the phone numbers aren't any good anymore, and when he sees I am not going to give him a number he asks if he can email me, and communicate with me that way. I ask why and he says he wants to write me and say he is sorry, and share all his feelings with me. Meanwhile his woman is who knows where, and he is just hanging out with me, talking about us for an hour straight, and he isn't saying things, like that is the past and I am with someone else now etc. Finally she shows back up, while he is asking me again if he can email me. When she shows up, he stops in the middle of a sentence, and starts escorting her out of my booth.

 

Oh yeah, one another important point. He says he got the email that said I was back in town, and he went to the fair on purpose because he thought he would see me there. He said he went to the emergency room that morning, which made him have to pass by the fair, and it thought it was more than just chance, something much larger, and called it serendipity, seeing me.

 

Finally, I watched them leave, her in the car and seat, I always sat in. I was a wreck.

 

He didn't look very well. He had aged alot, and didn't even seem like the man I knew. He seemed to have no joy, even though he claimed he was now he love. He was always kind of a light and happy person, and he seemed morose. It was all kind of weird.

 

I don't know if he will email me. I don't know the point of it. These woman I talked to at the fair about it, seem to think he still liked me, to come there like that, It seems weird that he brought the other woman, and her reaction seems like she wasn't expecting me, although he was hoping to find me there.

 

What is anybodys take on this?? It is 1:18 in the morning and I can't sleep. Oh, and yeah, he wears the hat I made him, although he never aknowledged to me, that he even got it.

[Exchange]

I get the vibe this other woman is controlling him.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

My take on this is that you are so much better off without this guy. He is a coward and he has no sense of appropriate behaviour. He dumped you for this woman...just completely walking out of your life without giving you any heads up about it. Just disappeared. Then he comes to see you with all this sweet-talk while his new partner is hanging around. That was really cruel of him...cruel to do that to you and cruel to do that to his gf. He may not have looked well because he has health issues, but that is a completely separate matter from jerking around two women. Forget this loser...he is very selfish and self-involved and doesn't care how is actions impact others.

[pumpkinmoon]

I'm sorry about this. It must have been very hard on you.

 

I really can't make head nor tail of the whole thing.

 

One thing that stood out is the fact that he said he never loved you. True or not, that was a very hurtful thing to say and so unwaranted after so long apart.

 

What I don't understand is why he would say that, then proceed to talk to you for an hour, telling you that he thought about you all the time blah blah blah.

 

I also agree with CAD about leaving his gf to wander around whilst he talked to you.

 

He is obviously a very confused individual. I would never believe these actions and words were possible of a 57yr old man.

[Carus]

Hi Dancing*

 

Welcome back....

 

My ex is still with the guy she left me for too....1 year later....

They came to the club I work at on Friday night, so I am holding back tears here becoz I am feeling your pain from over here.....

 

Luckily (?) for me we didnt even talk....I mean, she is with her new guy but it really is sad when 2 people who used to be so close, have to now be in the same room and not even talk

 

But even sadder is this:

He says he got the email that said I was back in town, and he went to the fair on purpose because he thought he would see me there.

And he brought the other girl? I'm sorry but What The.....??

 

I dont understand these people I really dont....My ex has moved on and is in that blissful nirvana of indifference now and of course free to go wherever they want, but if I had a new GF I wouldn't take her to her ex's place of work....I just wouldn't ya know...?

Finally, I watched them leave, her in the car and seat, I always sat in. I was a wreck.

After about 1 hour I had to watch them put their arms around each other and dance off into the night.....

 

I feel your pain. You are not alone. ((Hugs))

K2*

[StrangeFellow]

Dancing,

 

I am also dealing with ex issues, and I feel for you. I hate to regurgitate what has already been said, but it sounds true to me. He's not the same person, but may very well be controlled by his current girlfriend. You deserve better than to have been treated as you where. I hope that soon you can reach the closure that you need and eventually find someone who will treat well.

 

Hope for you,

Strangefellow

[dancingcolors]

Thanks everyone.

[dancingcolors]

I got like 4 hours of sleep last night. Today I am just going to rest and regroup, and tomorrow I am going to refocus back on my life and my business, and get back to where I was before the bomb dropped. Getting my life together.

[Carus]

You Go Girl!! \\