Ic3D-FLuD Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 i am a guy and i have known this girl for almost a year now. I met her when i was gettin over a previous girlfriend. She started to like me more than i liked her and thought we should see eachother but i wasn't convinced it would work because of the distance. But when she told me she loved me and all the feeligns she had for me i was drawn in and she took my heart. Well last week i found out she was going out with someone from her school. I confronted her and she lied, she lies all the time to me and i can tell she lies but i can never actually prove it because she will say something like "how can you believe what they say? im ur girlfriend, u should believe me" and then i feel guilty and say sorry. Well back to that boy, i asked her about it and she said that he had asked her out and she said no to him. I was really happy. But then when i found out who the boy wasi realisedi had spoken to him before, so i asked him about it. Unbeknown to my knowledge she had actually said yes. So, i decided to confront her again and she came up with some silly excuses like always. After i found out she kept telling me she loved me and that I mean the world to her. She said she didn't think her and this boy would work out and she will go out with me again. Stupidly I thought "Oh, Great!". After a couple of days she dumped him because she said she had made the wrong decision and she loved me to much and she would never leave me again. Well a week past and it was going really well.....but....it gets worse.... Yesterday (Tuesday) i bought her some credit fro her mobile phone so i could text her and she could text me back. Later on that day i found out she had been texting that boy she went out with saying she loves him. I confronted her and again she produces one of her lame excuses, this time it was "yeh, i love everyone, i say it to everyone, but your extra special to me". She thinks im stupid. Well, we finished last night. My heart sunk when i found out she had been telling this boy she loved him. She still tells me that she loves me and wants to be really good mates and that we could get together in the future. But i think she is just putting these hopes into my mind so i don't go. She always wants a back up boyfriend just incase the other one dumps her. I know i should move on and forget her but i can't. She is too special to me, my mind says go but my heart says stay. I don't know what to do...... Link to comment
SadHatter Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 Hi mate, very, very sorry to hear the situation you're in. I have just had a very similar thing with my girlfriend, basically had a 3-year relationship and then she started messing me around, lying constantly, getting dodgy text messages when she was with me from other guys etc. Anyway, to cut a long story short, she messed me around for a good 6/7 months, saying she loved me but wanted a break for her independence etc. Anyway, I had suspicions that she was just using me as her "security boyfriend" - and so they proved...she is dating her boss from work, who is 32 (she's 19 next week). So - good riddance! I think you're in a similar situation - you're her safety net. Don't make the same mistakes I did. Ditch the bitch! Download this song...the main chorus has good advice...Dry Your Eyes by The Streets. Good luck, reply and lemme know what you thought of the song! Link to comment
Calvin Ong Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 Me think the most important thing is to talk to your friend face to face. Try to talk to her calmly and say the truth what u think about the relationship between the both of you. Think positively and do not let this matter affect you too much. Link to comment
Ic3D-FLuD Posted June 16, 2004 Author Share Posted June 16, 2004 Thanks SadHatter, I know i need to let her go and move on but i don't know how. I am friends with a lot of her friends and her cousins aswell. I was practically adopted by their family...as sad as it sounds, its true. Yeh i have the album, that song is very appropriate. Calvin, i know that is what i should do but it is difficult because i would prabably do something pathetic and break down in tears. Thanks for your advice so far!! Link to comment
Val_76 Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 Some people say I love you without meaning it or without knowing the meaning of it. Maybe your girl is one of them. A relationship is 2 person together, not 1 person going with 2 persons saying: I love you more than the other to each of them, thats called a love triangle if I don't mistake. If you can leave with another guy around in your couple then I guess you'll be alright with this girl. If not I suggest you begin to think about packing your bags, your heart and go find someone else. Yes almost a year can seem like a long time, but will you ever have any confidence in her in the future because of what she's doing to you right now? Trust is essential for love to grow. Do you trust her? Link to comment
Ic3D-FLuD Posted June 16, 2004 Author Share Posted June 16, 2004 I used to trust er but then little lies started which were meaningless and then they started to grow to bigger lies and at the moment i don't trust her at all. But i want to trust her and i have spoken about this with her but she turns the guilt back on me for not trusting her Link to comment
ComputerGuy Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 I know you dont want to hear this, but one of the biggest most important parts of a relationship is trust, thats why my girlfriend and I are still together even though we are 2500 mile apart. If you're having trust issues this early on, than you are going to have to face that it won't work out. As for crying being pathetic, it's not, they say boys don't cry, well, men do. Link to comment
Val_76 Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 Is it your fear of being alone that push you to trust someone you know you cannot trust? Is because she's so beautifull and special that a men would go out of his way and step on himself to be with her? Is there something in her, except the fact she's cheating on you, that you will never find with another girl? You have only 2 choices... accept to share her with anyone she thinks might be good for her and be happy with it or just walk away. Link to comment
jaiva Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 If you continue to stay she might break the heart that wants to believe in her. She is playing you for a fool. Don't allow her to do this to you, because you deserve better than that. If she's always lying and cheating then she's not worthy of your love or your tears. Be Smart with your decision. Jaiva Link to comment
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