my fiance just left me and i am heartbroken what can i do?

[SUNSHINE]

I'm a 19 years old and a female. i have been with my fiance for just over 2 years now. He almost had twins together last feb but i miscarried. We have never been very stable. I love him with all my heart and i want to win him back and i want to know what to do. I can't stop crying and i want to try and get him back......he said that he broke up with me cause he just doesn't want to be with ME. But he can be with someone else. I don't know what to do... I need some help anything would be nice. I feel like killin myself. i just want to feel better

 

Thanx

Elyse

[cookies]

hi there...

im really sorry 2 hear that you lost the babies first of all. That is hard enough on you, without you having to deal with this horrible breakup with the one man you love the most in ur life. Right now, its very important to give him just a little space so that he can sort out whatever it is that he is feeling in his heart...and u use this time to indulge in ur sadness. I do feel its healthy to cry and let the sadness out, because if we bottle it up inside it can be more devistating on us.

 

Sometimes when we go thru things, we say stuff to the other, that we really dont mean, ..and later on regret it. So give him a little time and space,..without puting any added pressure on him, by persuing him, and trying to convince him that you 2 belong together. Try not tocontact him at all, to see if he will somehow miss you. It will be a great difference if you two were never in a loving relationship, then you cant expect him to miss you at all...but in this situation...im sure he will miss you contacting him, because i dont believe we can just stop loving somebody just like that...

 

it seems impossible to me...

 

im sure others has plenty of good advice to add along with this,..but in the meantime, im always here to help...it saddens me to see ppl hurting...sometimes i just wish i could take everybody´s pain in the world and call it a day...

 

peace,...

 

cookies

[pennywise1]

SUNSHINE:

 

I am sorry to hear how badly you are hurting. Fact of the matter is that most people on this board are feeling pretty lousy themselves.

 

I myself am heartbroken at the moment and as bad as I feel now I can tell you that it was worse a couple of weeks ago.

 

He is obvioulsy going through something right now and pushing the issue now will only drive him further wawy from you and make matters worse.

 

I agree with cookie in that you should give him some space and utilize this time apart to get yourself back on track. I myself find it very helpful to talk to family and friends about it. For me it is almost therapeudic. If you are uncomfortable talking with friends and family then please continue to do so here if you find it helpful.

 

Be strong.

[Gilgamesh]

Hello Sunshine!

 

both cookies and pennywise have given the best advise, give your ex his space, he needs to sort something out in his head, give him time its the best thing you can do.

 

I like you was >

 

Dont go blamming your self over what has happened, or go thinking what if i did this or that, .

 

After awhile youll start to feel a little better, there are lots of things you can do to help.

 

What did you do before your partner? did you paint? jog? write detective novels? you must have done something, just do it!

 

Go visit a City you never been to, go see some movies, comedies, not mushy romantic comedy stuff but goofy stuff, that will make you laugh even if you dont want to.

 

Go to a sporting event, even if you never have! its a new experience.

 

Is there something you always wanted to do but never have? maybe fly to Florida and swim with some Dolphins? or Hike into the grand canyon? or maybe some white water rafting? or maybe just start a vegatable garden. or do some community service.

 

change your hair style, buy some new clothes, new shoes, get all your partners stuff and pictures and put them away, all the songs you liked together, put them away also, get some new CDs. call up some family and old friends you havent talked to in a long while.

 

re-arrange the furniture in the house! maybe change the colors of the walls, put in some plants and or paintings.

 

Join a gym or take yoga class, yes! it really helps with the stress and it helps you in so many ways. or take up Jogging, biking or swimming.

 

The more stuff you do, and the more experiences you have the more the past is behind you and the sooner youll get over this, and IF he does decide to return into your life, you will be a stronger more confident person. if not, you will be over him, and ready to move on and love again.

 

you may find yourself! your true identity, and become who you really are!

 

i know that you are tired and in lots of pain right now and are not that motivated to do any of that stuff, thats Ok, you need to go through the sorrow, sadness, fear and anger emotions first, when you get your energy up, try and do some of the stuff I mentioned. youll see it really does help!!!

[Sorrowful Tears]

Im going thru almost the exact same thing and I am also 19. My fiancee broke up with me 3 months ago. We were together for a year and a half and planned on spending the rest of our lives together. But my situation is a little different- he just doesnt want to be with ANYONE right now. And we're still good friends and we hang out 1 or 2 times a week. For a while things got distant between us and I know that he became annoyed with me calling him and asking to come over. But over the past couple weeks things have gotten better and we've sorta become close again.

 

Anyways, just so you know, you are definetly not alone. I spend each and every second of my life in tears over him and am going thru the most intense pain anyone could ever feel. I feel like there is nothing left to live for. Deep down I almost know that we're gonna be back together eventally and that is the only thing that keeps me going. I wish I could tell you that things are gonna get easier with time but then I'd be lying. The pain of losing the one you love never goes away. But maybe it'll be different for you. All I know is that for me the pain grows even more intense with time. The only advice that I can give you is that if it's meant to be then it'll be... eventually. Many couples break up (sometimes numerous times) and end up getting back together. Keep hope is all I can tell ya. Most people prolly dont agree with what I said but if you truly love somebody I dont think you should give up.