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Wherever I go I miss him so much

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It might be different from all you guys' situation. We never really in the relationship. He is my client came over to my city for business trip. I like him alot. He got divorce 8 months ago, has 2 little kids. The first night we went out had dinner ,drink, we had a great time. after we back to hotel. we kiss and hug, he hold me said he is a lucky guy to have me. but no sex that night.bcs I kind worry about he might say it was a mistake to have sex with me bcs he was drunk,so i just wanna take it slowly. anyway I thought we start the relationship but he gave me a big surprise the next day.

The second day at hotel room he couldnt really face me.i felt there is something wrong,but i werent that sure what it is. So i told myself ok just see what happens........then we just watch TV together for a while. I back home went to sleep. At midnight I got his email.said he is sorry.bcs after he was divorce he is kind lonely in another country wanna talk to someone ,after he meet me he feel i am a good girl but he wasnt so sure when he will back to home country .the failed marriage freak him out. He is so afriad to get married again. He might just being single for a long time.

He said he cant give me anything,he cant promise me anything. After he back to company which in another country, the distence will kill the relationship. he doesnt think we can make it.

I cried so hard.

I cried in front of him. but he acted so harded heart. He said its not easy for him too but he doesnt know whats going to happen with his life. if we were together I need to wait for him here.,plus long distence. it might be take 3-4years to wait. He just cant keep me waiting. It is the best age for me to be loved and love somo one who can really be with me.

I feel so frustrated. nomatter what i say he always say No to me.

later.after he back to his company.he send me an email said that night at hotel room when i was crying in front of him .he almost failed with insisted refuse me. He almost say yes to me.almost hold me kiss me hug me.but he didnt. for him ,promise means responsibility ,once he make up his mind he has to take responsibility about our future. He cant do it now.bcs the distence,his failed marriege. everything makes him cant make up his mind.

He is weak.

I kind understand him. but I just dont know why there is noway for us to make it.

sometimes i m thinking maybe all of these he told me just excuses. He just not that into me.

I told him dont contact me anymore.He said noway.He wants to know if im happy if im doing good in my life.

I really dont know what to do .everywhere i go always make me think about him.

how can i get over this. or if i can find any clud improve that he is not that into me.all he want is get ride of me .if i get that feeling maybe its easier for me to forget everything and move on.

I dont know what im talking about,everything sucks in my life. I tried so hard to find my Mr right.but everytime ,,failed. I kind give up.

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I know..yes he is still my client. im thinking if thats the only time we doing business with each other then later on after we finish this order I wanna delete everything about him.

I know I should move on,just cant help thinking about it.dont know how am i gonna get over this. It seems so hard for me now.

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I know I know...deep in my heart I actually know that there is noway we can be together. I feel sad for myself not just for our failed relationship. being single sometimes really sucks. I thought finally I find someone that I really want to be with but later on the reality showed you that it just a dream. Its time to wake up, but I just cant do it now. this is turture me!

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