my ex is back in my life after 5 months of no contact

[jimtash]

This is my first post and I need a little advice so please bear with me. My ex and I have know each other for four years and for the first three we were just friends and co-workers. She was in a relationship for most of that time but I eventually fell in love with her and she did with me and she decided to leave her boyfriend for me. Well things progressed real fast and she moved in with me and in the beginning it was just fine but soon, external pressures started to shake things up. First, my parents didn't approve of her and I tried explaining that it didn't matter because that should not have any influence with us, but she would not hear of it (we both worked for them). Second, she has children and wanted them to move in with us but I didn't at the time and she took that very bad (I genuinely liked her kids and was good to them but that was a little to quick, but now that I look at it, I'm sorry I did). Third, she insisted on an engagement ring after three months of living together and that was also kinda quick for me but I did give her one because I loved her but the realationship started to flounder soon after that. She would always get upset at me when I wanted a little space to chill out, wether on the computer or working on my car or hanging out with friends or just anything. Well it got to the point one day that she decided to call her ex up and see if he could get her a job working with him again and she quit working with me although we were still together at the time. So a few months elapse and we keep getting farther apart as she starts spending more time with her ex than with me but she insists they are only friends. Then to further throw things apart her mother dies and who does she turn to, her ex. I was basically not there for her at that point and thought it futile to even try and she soon moved in with her father to be close to her kids (her mother was their guardian). We still talked to each other and she would stay over at my house every now and them but nothing intimate would occur. A few months later she was back working with me again because she couldn't make descent money anywhere else and she had also finally decided to move out on her own and try and get her kids back, but that didn't work out either. That's when thing really started falling apart. I tried being supportive then but she sometimes wouldn't even open the door to talk to me and to top that off, she wouldn't even show up for work and leave me hanging by myself. After a while of this crap, she was terminated and I lost contact up until around January of this year where I come to find out that she moved back in with her ex after she had been evicted from her residence beacuse she had nowhere to go but what relationship they had, I don't know and she still won't give me an answer. Anyway he was killed on the job and she was just devastated and called me up one night and I was basically just ignoring her. I still had some animosity towards her and she was really the last person I wanted to talk to and so I just hung up on her. Well now fast forward up to about two weeks ago and out of the blue she calls and tells me of her current relationship. She moved in with this guy (a vulture if you ask me) who had been there for her after her ex had got killed and lived with him for about five months. But to top it off, this guys a fugitive from Mississippi and he was caught and finally extradited there just this past week (he was still here when she first contacted me). Well anyway, the first night she contacted me she stayed over at my house and we slept together (no sex) and it felt good to hold her but akward at the same time and I explained this to her and she kinda understood me and said it will be awhile before it happens again. We've now been talking regularly and I've been getting to know her again but she still has a bit of bitterness towards me because I wasn't there for her when her ex died, but I've explained the reason why and she understands that I was hurting also. She keeps bringing it up by the way that her fugitive friend was the only who was there but I wasn't and at the moment is still in love with him and that he treated her good and she knew that situation she was getting into and that it would be cruel to dump him right now. Anyway, this last Saturday we went out and it was good, we held hands, we laughed but I didn't kiss her although we came close but she turned away at the last moment and I didn't press it. What I really wanted to do is talk about the relationship we had and us but she didn't and that was that but throughout the night though she did say some things like if this makes me uncomfortable that we shouldn't she each other anymore and I'm sitting her thinking that she's the one who really is, not me because I'm really just happy being there with her. I talked to her the next day and we decided to go out again that night but she changed her mind at the last minute and that's fine too because she says she doesn't want to be pressured into anything at the moment and I understand that. I asked her to call me back and she said she would but hasn't as of yet. I as of this moment have a thousand emotions running through my head and stirring this up again, I just don't know. Thanks for the vent.

[Scout]

This can't be for real...is it?? I felt like I just read the script for a Jerry Springer show. But if it is real, I would say, you have really let this woman down time and time again:

 

a) wouldn't let her kids move in (it was ok for her to live there and sleep with you, but you drew the line at taking in her own children?? That's one of the worst things I've ever heard of anyone doing to their boyfriend/girlfriend.)

 

b) hung up on her when someone close to her was killed in an untimely tragedy

 

3) wasn't there for her when her mother died, either

 

It's this woman who should be posting on eNotalone! She truly needs some help with her choice in men.