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Im trying to move on from my feelings from a girl i work with. I have a real strong emotional connection with her. (as well as alot of freaqy similarities including police numbers being similar, star signs the same, birthday 2 days apart, etc). She is 5 years older than me, we both find each other attractive the only problem is she has a bf who works with us and our friendship had to be scaled back because he was getting jealous. Despite my best efforts i fell for her...hard (ive never liked anyone this much before), i couldnt stop how much i liked her no matter what i did. Im sure she was at least a bit interested in me too.


Well her transfer got approved last week and she is moving about 9 hours away to another police station and im crushed. I guess im more dissapointed because ive never had a connection like that with a girl before and im never going to get a chance to tell her how i feel.


Now no matter what i do i cant let these feelings go, its almost as if something wont let me. I do what i normally do (which is no contact) and i will be going along fine until something like her contacting me for help with work stuff, or she will contact me for a chat, or other little things that remind me of her will pop up in my day to day life through people or things that have nothing to do with her (her town of birth, town she is moving to, last name, etc). Here is the real kicker, if none of the previously mentioned happen to me and im doing well. I will go to sleep and dream about her. When i wake up im back to square one and having deep feelings again.


I would like to think its because her and i are meant to be together and its fate's way of telling me not to give up, but fate never intervenes for me in my love life. But a small part of me believes it and wont let it go.


Now on top of all this i have had 6 long years of rejection that has built up. Here is my situation i 21 a virgin, my last 2 gfs were when i was 15 and both left me for another guy, for the last 6 years i have been rejected countless times, or the girl is with someone, or the girl will go out with one of my close friends, and if i do manage to go out on dates with a girl they end up going cold on me (the furthest i got is to a 2nd date with a girl), I normally dont let myslef fall for someone easily but it seems like whenever i finally do and start to like someone i get rejected (its like clockwork).


So couple the 6 years of rejection alongside the girl i really like leaving and you have me feeling pretty horrible at the moment. The thing is, im not bad looking. Im told that im good looking or cute by alot of people.


Because of everything crushing me at once, something inside of me has died. I no longer care anymore, i dont care as much what people think of me, im less docile, i dont care how much i get rejected, i dont care if i offend someone. I have no expectations anymore, how i am now isnt all a bad thing, but this situation has made me different, and i dont know if im ever going to go back.


Any ideas on my situation (how to get over her? do you think its fate? how can i move on??? anything else you want to say) please no negative comments, it wont help.

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A girlfriend drought is never fun, especially when someone you really like is just out of arms reach and getting further. You said you are not bad looking and that you get compliments, but you have trouble getting past the 2nd date. If you haven't already, take a good hard honest look at your own personality traits. It seems there is something other than your looks that is turning girls off. However, don't get so paranoid that you can't function properly on your next date. Perhaps if you have a casual female friend you could ask her if there is anything striking about yourself you should change.


As for this girl you have feelings for, virtually everyone goes through what you're going through at some time or another. It's not easy for you or anyone else and feelings of depression or even not wanting to live is quite common during this. Keep telling yourself that if it was meant to be, it would have happened....but keep in contact with her if possible and be listening for any signs she and her boyfriend aren't doing well. Just b/c she is seeing someone doesn't necessarily mean they will stay together forever. In the mean time look for other female friendships that could lead to more in order to kill alittle time. It may even make her jealous at some point.

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