How do I get motivated to get a life?

[all lucky 7s]

I don't really get much contact with society outside of work, and I think I've been devoting way, way too much time to the Internet lately. I want to get out more often, but I'm not really sure where to go or what to do. I get along well with my co-workers, and we always make plans to go out, but they only actually materialize very rarely (maybe once every two months).

 

One problem is that I just don't feel much energy to get out by myself, so I always wait for other people to make plans so I can just follow along. But since I don't know many people at all, this practice has mostly resulted in me spending many a night alone at the computer. Another thing is that I sometimes feel a little bit of social anxiety when I go to certain places (for example, I'll feel anxious and out of place in something as simple as a clothes store), and I have this fear in general of new things. Which is ironic because I'm not satisfied with where I am and the only way to improve would be through enjoying new things and experiences.

 

To be honest, my ultimate goal in this is probably to get a girlfriend. Mostly for the emotional support and so I can have someone to go out with from time to time. Though I also want to be put in situations where I can meet and interact with new people. I have this idea that I'm terrible at social interactions (since I don't really have any friends) but I think it has more to do with the fact that I never leave my house and scarcely leave my comfort zone.

 

Actually, I intended for 2010 to be something of a new beginning for me. And it was, for a little while. But now it's already May, summer is coming and people are getting more active, more social, and it's like the world is coming alive again. I really don't want to spend this summer locked behind a computer screen.

 

So, long story short: Any ideas for ways I can get out of my house, preferably a place where I can meet and interact with others? And also, any motivation tricks that can help me to actually go out and do these things? I have kind of an addiction to the discussion of action, which is holding me back as well.

 

Any help appreciated. Thanks.

[Moontiger]

What are you interested in? Do you like art? Dancing? Poetry? Cooking? etc. Is there something that you are interested in learning more about? Do you have any hobbies that your really enjoy?

 

Sorry to ask so many question! But, I think this information is important inorder to give you any advice.

[evandang00]

I know exactly how you feel...

[all lucky 7s]

What are you interested in? Do you like art? Dancing? Poetry? Cooking? etc. Is there something that you are interested in learning more about? Do you have any hobbies that your really enjoy?

 

Sorry to ask so many question! But, I think this information is important inorder to give you any advice.

 

That's actually another problem, in that I don't really have a passion or strong motivation in my life. I like movies, video games and the Internet mostly. But these aren't really activities I relish, they're more like ... things I do to kill time. Which is why I want to see if I can find new things to do so I can start getting a life. I want to try new things, I just don't know what to do or where to start.

 

I do read about a lot of different things, mostly over the Internet. And I'm very interesting in psychology in particular, how and why people act the way they do. Very fascinating to me. For things to do, I've thought in the past about getting a second job, taking a class somewhere (I kind of want to learn a new language, maybe Chinese or Korean), maybe volunteering somewhere (like an animal shelter).

 

So I guess I have a general idea of where to go, I just need tips and advice on how to get there, other things to try, and a way to get motivated so I can turn thoughts into action.

[sidehop]

Sometimes it takes more exposure, which internet is a great thing. There are so many things out there that you just need to be introduced. I'm sure there are many things that would peak your interest; whether it becomes a new hobby or even a career. Scratch the surface, see if you like it or not.

 

New interest will result in new people, networking, group of friends with same interest and I'm sure within there will be a girl

[evandang00]

and if you decided to start learning Mandarin, let me know (I'm Chinese)

[fLuiD]

For things to do, I've thought in the past about getting a second job, taking a class somewhere (I kind of want to learn a new language, maybe Chinese or Korean), maybe volunteering somewhere (like an animal shelter).

 

Those things can create a starting point for where you want to begin. In doing some of those activities, you are bound to have to interact with people. Initially, it will be based on whatever activity you are doing. With time, you will find people that have other interests which may spark your interest in those things as well. The rest of it is getting out there and doing it.

[all lucky 7s]

Sometimes it takes more exposure, which internet is a great thing. There are so many things out there that you just need to be introduced. I'm sure there are many things that would peak your interest; whether it becomes a new hobby or even a career. Scratch the surface, see if you like it or not.

 

New interest will result in new people, networking, group of friends with same interest and I'm sure within there will be a girl

 

Yep, this is something I'm trying to an extent, but very slowly. I know what you mean though, I'll try searching the Internet for anything and everything I might be able to go to in my spare time.

 

and if you decided to start learning Mandarin, let me know (I'm Chinese)

 

Thanks, man. I'll keep that in mind if I decide to go that route.

 

Those things can create a starting point for where you want to begin. In doing some of those activities, you are bound to have to interact with people. Initially, it will be based on whatever activity you are doing. With time, you will find people that have other interests which may spark your interest in those things as well. The rest of it is getting out there and doing it.

 

That last line is definitely what I need to work on most. I tend to just let other people make plans, and then I tag along. That's the first thing I need to work on changing.

[savignon]

Maybe try a community class (not expensive and for 10 or so weeks at a time so if you didn't like it, it would be over soon enough). Classes offered sometimes are yoga, art, a foreign language, tennis, (other sports), etc. etc.

Maybe make a commitment to yourself to invite one friend/group of friends out a week (coffee? meet at the bar? grab dinner?)

Baby steps!!

Best wishes!

[SnowFox]

Maybe get out into the community and focus on doing something to help others. It can help to break out of an overly self-focused rut that it sounds like you are in. There are so many different types of volunteer opportunities out there- and there is a desperate need for people to contribute their time and skills to causes that benefit others. With the current economy, non-profit organizations are really struggling and most would welcome volunteers doing all sorts of different tasks. It can really help to get out in the world and meet other people who care about their community.