eva1983 Posted May 16, 2010 Share Posted May 16, 2010 Hi All I just want to know what you lot think . I would out from other people that this chef guy was interested in me , so we got introduced and we started chatting . We swapped numbers on the second day day but I said I would text him once I finish work . So I texted him and just after two text messages he stopped texting me back . I thought this was weird but didn't think much about it . I saw him the next day and we talked and so I texted him once he finished work asking to meet for a coffee before he finishes .I got nothing back that evening , so I thought maybe he's not really interested and left it . I decided that day I would keep low as I got blown out . So the next day at work I went down to get breakfast and one off the ladies said your the girl that likes Jake and I said back not any more as he's not interested (knowing he was listening ) . She in a loud voice says yes he is , he's very interested . This confused me . Anyway at lunch I came down and he was their so I just ignored him and again the ladies came to me saying Jake told her that he messed up but really likes me . She also mentioned that he is shy , so to give him a chance.So I told her if he's interested he needs to show me or tell me coz at the moment I'm sure he's not interested . That afternoon after his shift I got a text saying sorry and that he was hopeless and wanted to go out for a drink . So Monday came and I said yes I would love to meet up . He picked me up from my house and it went well . We had a really good chat and time flew by . He dropped me home and said he'd call me but he didn't . We saw each other at work and every time I saw him this week I knew he really liked me. We always make eye contact . But then again he would say he'd call but doesn't . On Wednesday I sent him a text asking if he wanted to meet up again and he texted back saying yes deffo but not too sure when as he's busy this week . We left it at that and then he's been off sick and I haven't heard from him this weekend .I texted him Thursday asking if he was ok but yet again he didn't reply to my text. But I see he's been on f/b updating his status via his phone . So I know this all has happened in a week but does it come accross as he's not interested ? I'm defiantly starting to think that . I'm going to try to back off on Monday , not be to friendly . What do you guy's think I should do ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 16, 2010 Share Posted May 16, 2010 I think it sounds like a typical situation where two people go out on one or two dates and then one person decides he/she is not interested in another date. It's flattering that he continues to look at you -- it sounds like he continues to find you attractive and even might enjoy flirting with you, but for whatever reason at this point he is not interested in seeing you again. It's good that you let him know that you would like to see him again, so that if he changes his mind he doesn't have to guess at whether you were intereted in going on a date with him. If he wants to go on another date with you, he will ask you out on a date or accept your invitation and set a specific date and time. I would stop playing the games of talking about him behind his back when you know he is listening, or even when he is not around - it can be a turn off to find out that someone was talking behind your back, or cause concern that if he were to date you he and his personal information would be a topic of your gossip. I wouldn't take this personally - if you had a nice time and said thank you if he paid for you or went out of his way in any way then I'm sure it's nothing you did - sometimes people don't click as far as dating and they're better off as friends or even flirty friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savignon Posted May 16, 2010 Share Posted May 16, 2010 I agree that if he were interested he'd follow through on calling or asking you out. Anyways, it doesn't seem you enjoy the 'push/pull' aspect of all of this which doesn't really make him a good candidate for you, right? Remember that you get to have your standards as well and this guy just might not be cutting it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HouseKitten Posted May 16, 2010 Share Posted May 16, 2010 He's not that interested. I would back off entirely if I were you and start moving on, because even if this guy agrees to see you again, he's just going to keep blowing hot and cold. It sounds like he has some interest, but not really enough to make the effort to keep things moving along. Do you want to keep pushing to go out with someone who isn't really sure they want to be with you, or would you rather just move on and find someone who is actually clear about being attracted to you? Also: all that back-and-forth with some other girl running between you telling you he's interested but shy was ridiculous - are you both in high school? Because that's what he's acting like, getting his mate to tell you he likes you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eva1983 Posted May 16, 2010 Author Share Posted May 16, 2010 Hey , Thanks for reading and advising . So to clear up a few things we weren't talking behind his back . He had told the lady what had happened and I think she just wanted me to know that he was interested . He was standing on the side but I couldn't see him but she could . Also after our first date when he dropped me home he said he wanted to meet up this weekend but I told him I had plans and would love to meet the following weekend . By the way he's 22 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 16, 2010 Share Posted May 16, 2010 Hey , Thanks for reading and advising . So to clear up a few things we weren't talking behind his back . He had told the lady what had happened and I think she just wanted me to know that he was interested . He was standing on the side but I couldn't see him but she could . Also after our first date when he dropped me home he said he wanted to meet up this weekend but I told him I had plans and would love to meet the following weekend . By the way he's 22 . You were not talking directly to him and talking about him so he would hear you - that could be seen as immature/playing games. You didn't say directly to him "I am interested in you but you seem not to be interested in me" because your strategy was to say it to someone else and hope he would hear you. Many people mention meeting up again after a first date. Until there is a specific time and place set up for another date my suggestion is to treat it as nice, flattering but mostly meaningless as to whether there actually will be another date so you don't get your hopes up. A lot can happen after a first date - maybe he thought about it and decided you two didn't have enough in common, maybe he met someone else or decided he was more interested in someone else, maybe he decided that dating someone wasn't a great idea right now, etc etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metafisics Posted May 16, 2010 Share Posted May 16, 2010 He's annoying me already, I'd just move on from this one. Careful what you wish for, you might end up chasing after this one long after your relationship has started. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriarRose Posted May 16, 2010 Share Posted May 16, 2010 He's not that interested. I would back off entirely if I were you and start moving on, because even if this guy agrees to see you again, he's just going to keep blowing hot and cold. It sounds like he has some interest, but not really enough to make the effort to keep things moving along. Do you want to keep pushing to go out with someone who isn't really sure they want to be with you, or would you rather just move on and find someone who is actually clear about being attracted to you? Also: all that back-and-forth with some other girl running between you telling you he's interested but shy was ridiculous - are you both in high school? Because that's what he's acting like, getting his mate to tell you he likes you. I agree with all of this. And as someone who delt with "hot and cold" behavior for nearly a year, you really don't want to go there. It is hurtful and frustrating, and if he was that interested, he would not be acting that way towards you. Obviously there is a spark, or he wouldn't be in contact at all - but whatever he is feeling, it's not enough. Or perhaps there is someone else he is involved with. Who knows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eva1983 Posted May 16, 2010 Author Share Posted May 16, 2010 Ok...so do I just smile and walk away tomorrow? He'll know something's wrong if I do that as we've been talking at lunch time . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriarRose Posted May 16, 2010 Share Posted May 16, 2010 Ok...so do I just smile and walk away tomorrow? He'll know something's wrong if I do that as we've been talking at lunch time . Just be your normal, friendly self - treat him like you would anyone else. No need to be cold or anything, but make no mention of seeing him again. He probably will say how he's been busy or whatever, blah blah blah ....just say, no problem. Don't get into it with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curious_Girl Posted May 16, 2010 Share Posted May 16, 2010 Eva, you keep posting new threads but you don't reply to your old ones. Are you just trying to get the answers you want? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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