Need some advice from wiser heads...

[EricForeman]

Well about a year ago i told this girl i liked her after we had hung out for the first two months of college a lot. She didn't feel the same way and now a year on i am finally completely ready to move on. I recently deleted her from my facebook friends list (yes probably should have done it ages ago) because that was the last memories of pictures etc. with her. Now she has sent me a message saying why i have done this? I really don't wanna get into the real reasons and am not sure what to do. It especially awkward because were still on speaking terms and i still bump into her every so often since we have many of the same friends. What should i do without having to say i deleted you because those memories are too painful? I don't want to get into feelings and what not. Ive played that hand and im not going to again. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks Eric

[Celadon]

Geez, how did she know you'd de-friended her?

 

As for what to tell her, maybe you could just say "I really value as a friend, but I have my reasons, which I'd rather not talk about. Don't take it personally. It's me, not you."

[RedDress]

I'd go flirty: "Argh! Just crushing again and I need it to stop. You're very distracting, you know. "

 

That way you aren't burning any bridges and you are holding that door open in case you want to 'friend' her again down the line. It's also flattering (even if she's not into you) - so it won't really make things weird/awkward/offensive. AAAAAAAAND she'll know you like her so if she gets any ideas...

 

You catch more flies with honey.

[EricForeman]

Well K8ie like i said we have some of the same friends so i a week later she has eventually figured it out. She sent a pretty formal message saying have i done anything to offend you? i would like to clear it up? i mean the last time i saw her was a week ago in the college library and we hung out had a laugh.

 

Red dress that sounds good but i'd rather not catch this particular fly. One defining characteristic of this girl that she admits is she can be selfish and i dont want to boost her ego anymore. She loves playing games of power you know. Me and her get on so great but even now when i see her maybe like once a week. I dont want any psychological games man.

 

Im just thinking of saying 'my bad, was cleaning house, must of done it by mistake'. Dammit im not sure.

[HouseKitten]

It doesn't sound like you're in NC since you have to see her in real life anyway so have you considered just pretending it was a mistake and adding her back? Were you finding it difficult to avoid stalking her profile, or were you just doing it as a symbolic 'moving on' gesture?

 

You weren't actually in a relationship with this girl, you just had a crush on her so I can see why she might be confused as to why you've gone so far as to delete her - especially since like I said before, if you see her relatively often in real life, you're not exactly in NC.

[EricForeman]

...I guess it was a little bit of both...more likely symbolic of moving on. Yer i am considering that you know. It just every now and then there will be some profile picture of her that i took or maybe i was there. I think its the best way to avoid any unnecessary confrontation.

[HouseKitten]

NC means No Contact, something people tend to go into after a breakup to protect themselves and/or to try and move on.

 

So what I meant was, you still see her in real life fairly often so it's not like you're trying to cut her out entirely in order to move forwards.

 

To be honest, if it was just supposed to be symbolic then I would re-add her to avoid the drama since she's noticed. It does probably come accross as overly dramatic to delete someone a year after they rejected you.

[EricForeman]

yer just realised that...Yer i think your right there...and thats what i will do...Thanks a lot =D

[geekgirl4]

If you guys were in a relationship, then I think deleting is fine so you can start anew. But you guys didn't date. Just tell her you were doing some facebook cleanup and she must have accidently deleted.