Why smiling gets guys

[sophie274]

Please stay on topic. If this thread goes off-topic again it will have to be permanently closed.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

im gonna go out there and smile and see what happens... but what kind of smile? toothy smile, subtle smile, grin?

 

Also, what happens when you smile and they smile back? Do you just keep smiling at them? Keep walking? Stop and see if they approach you? Approach them? What?

[glucoze]

My smile is a bit of a grin toothy smile. So it depends.

I meanim I would only give an open toothed smile if someone I knew/liked smiled at me.

But for now, have a subtle smile. It also depends where you are. Just think of something that makes you happy, or a joke, that will get you smiling and it'll seem more genuine then that fake rehearsed smile!

 

Guys.. They approached me hah, but most of the time well a couple I approached them after they returned the big welcoming smile

 

Smile. Makes you feel good, makes you look good, makes others around you look and feel good.

A win- win situation.

 

Again, if you smile at someone and they won't return the smile do not worry. I find it really sad when people don't know how to smile. Poor them.

Keep smiling.

 

[sophie274]

I agree that smiling makes anyone look better and is a great way to seem approachable.

 

I think the best smile is the one where you smile with your eyes. I think a big toothy grin might seem a bit unnatural if you're walking around with it plastered on your face (especially if you're not really feeling it), but an upturn of the lips and a crinkle and twinkle of the eye if someone looks in your direction is nice. Honestly smiling also makes me feel better - it has a bit of a fake it till you make it effect where smiling cheers me up even if I don't have a big reason to smile. This time of year there are a lot of dogs and young children out and about on the week-ends, and I always make sure to pet the dogs and smile at the kids and their parents (some people are paranoid about pedophiles now, so if you're a guy you might want to be careful - a bit unfortunate). I usually get a smile back and it makes me feel good.

[glucoze]

What Sophie said.

 

Smiling with your eyes is also a really good bet, that you'll get lots of smiles in return.

I used to walk around my neighborhood.. anywhere with a frown and I wouldn't notice it either until random people would approach me and say "Why do you look so down, you are so beautiful show everyone that smile!" and i'd get even more annoyed which in turn made me unable to smile LOL. But they were right. Fake it till you make it..

When people say "smile" It doesn't mean you need to leave your house with a wide toothed smile and walk around with that.. people will think you are a little crazy lol.

 

Look approachable. You'd be surprised of how many people will be drawn to you..

I'll admit it's a little scary at first, but once you get the hang of it it'll come naturally!

[Bluesman89]

LOL...

Braces? How about those? How old are you?

Maybe you can wear those invisible braces (invisalign)

I wore braces a few years ago.. i hated it and it sucked but now I love my smile!

I have enough things to be self conscious about without braces. They also cost money which I don't have..

[glucoze]

I'm sure you can do loans, can't you?

[Jake]

I have problems in this area, I practice while jogging or walking around my neighborhood as I pass oncoming people I try to smile. Not a big toothy grin mind you as they'll think I'm on something but I do smile / acknowledge their presence and I find it easy to do as most of them are old folk taking their dogs out so they're generally friendly.

 

I admit around the pretty girls I'm still too shy but I'm working on not having a serious terminator death to all like face.

[glucoze]

LOL jake!!

Well thats because you are shy silly.

I bet if you smiled towards that pretty girl she will smile right back

guaranteed!

[Jake]

Noooooo couldn't do that... at least not yet. I know the way I am right now my "attempt" at smiling would turn out to be a hesitant half smile at best (like aw crap reaction) and then I'd look down at my feet and crash head long into something.

[LightbulbSun]

I think women are prettier when they smile. When I see a smiling girl, I want to go over and talk to her. When I see someone glowering and looking like they'll bite my head off for doing it, I stay away.

[SnowFox]

The muscles in your face that move when you smile, particularly the muscles around the eyes that move (when its a "real" smile), actually trigger your brain to produce the same chemicals you feel when you are happy.

 

So when you are feeling down, you can actually make yourself feel somewhat better by intentionally forcing yourself to smile-- and when you do this, concentrate on smiling enough to move the muscles at the side of your eyes. Just moving your mouth muscles will not trigger the same effect.

 

I think women may get better responses to smiling than males (when out in public) because smiling at someone is actually submissive behavior. Its a signal of openness/receptivity- which is typically what men look for in terms of determining who to approach. When a woman smiles at a man in a public setting where they are strangers, it signals that she is receptive to him. When a man smiles at a woman in a public setting, it doesn't signal "I am receptive to you" (which is non-threatening), it tends to signal "I am interested in you" or "I would like to approach you" or "I find you attractive". Those signals can be a bit overpowering for a woman who is out in public. So a man trying to "lead" with a smile may not get very good responses, because many women out in public are not open to being approached and they don't want the attention.

 

I think a man would have better success making some eye contact at the woman, noticing if she starts to smile a bit, then using that as his cue that she may be receptive to his approach. Most women interpret a gaze (not a passing glance) from a man in a public setting as potential interest, but nothing further. Its her cue to show receptivity to that gaze, if she is receptive. She might smile a bit, look away, and then look back. If the man is still looking, he might smile a bit at this point. And now both have non-verbally communicated interest in each other.

 

Before anyone slams me for saying men shouldn't have to do all the approaching, etc, I am not stating that at all. I am merely offering some possible dynamics that go on behind the phenomenon of both genders smiling at strangers in public.

 

I should also add the caveat that in a setting that is meant for meeting the opposite sex like a bar, a club, a singles get together, etc, I think both genders are likely to be more flexible about these dynamics.

 

I am mostly talking about being in places out in public like a park, a coffee shop, the grocery store, etc.

 

A great book to read if you are interested in this type of stuff is SuperFlirt. It has tons of pictures of all types of body language both genders can use to flirt with each other.

[getbiii]

you don't have to show your teeth to smile,

my smile, and real smile is jjust like a half grin,

honestly most of the time i only life one cheek up!

lol

and my theet never show!

unless im super uber happy and laughing

then its full blast both cheeks up!

[GoneCrazy]

I don't think I agree with that..

maybe your smile is not very genuine

 

What would be a genuine smile ? Showing teeth ? cause i don't open my mouth i do a puppy face kinda smile if i smile with my teeth showing i look like the joker without make-up.

[glucoze]

Hm I've seen people with fake smiles..

If it just looks so... forced. That's what I meant by not a genuine smile.

If it looks like you are forcing something that isn't there - a smile - and it just makes you look very fake.. And uncomfortable.

I've seen this before LOL

[glucoze]

Well said. Because this has happened to me quite enough times.

See, if I smile a a guy just like you said or in general, he will obviously smile back and take note "she's very open and she seems nice and she's attractive, why not go over and introduce myself?" vs if I looked pissed off haha

But if a guy smiled at me in a public setting just like you said, the first automatic thought is

"crap.. He's into me." There's a difference it's all in body language from my experience. If he smiles and he keeps walking then I won't think too much of it. But he if he constantly smiling at me and he seems like he wants to come over and talk that's when I think:

"he's attracted to me, he wants to talk to me" and I'll admit it is a bit startling. Especially if I am already interested/dating another guy. I am nice and I don't enjoy turning guys down..

[glucoze]

I think a man would have better success making some eye contact at the woman, noticing if she starts to smile a bit, then using that as his cue that she may be receptive to his approach. Most women interpret a gaze (not a passing glance) from a man in a public setting as potential interest, but nothing further. Its her cue to show receptivity to that gaze, if she is receptive. She might smile a bit, look away, and then look back. If the man is still looking, he might smile a bit at this point. And now both have non-verbally communicated interest in each other.

 

This.

This goes back to my point. If a guy was 'gazing at me' and if I looked back and smiled, then he has the perfect chance to come talk to me because I do notice him, if someone was gazing towards me and I wasn't interested I'd keep walking - this is only in a public setting - So.. Again you have a point

 

I enjoy staring contests though. Ugh unless the guy is smoking hot.

Man.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

a guy has never randomly smiled at me... but then again, I have never made eye contact with a guy, looked right at him and smiled either... that is such foreign territory for me... i wonder what would happen.

[glucoze]

Girl that's probably why. Try it. Do it, it's great.

Guys have probably smiled at you, but because you don't make eye contact, you most likely miss it.

From what I know and see... Guys are shy - yeah that was very surprising to me as well-and most of them especially around here won't really do much unless the girl smiles or does anything that will allow him to be able to approach her without being yelled at for being a perv or something like that.

 

Eye contact. Just as important as smiling.

It's like you get to see who they are inside when you look into their eyes and smile. A genuine smile.

 

Haha.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

I seriously didnt realize that this whole making eyecontact with a guy and smiling was a way to signal that you are available and approachable. I will definitely try it, kinda nervous though. Maybe thats why guys dont approach me.

[glucoze]

Don't be nervous Hun.

You are young, and beautiful, smile, the whole world wants to see a smile. It just make everyone happier. Like this ripple effect. It's incredible actually.

You'll feel even better. Even if ONE guy smiles back at you, this gives you the confidence to feel even better. I'm not saying "ya you will definitely find a husband the moment you smile " hahaah but it does open up windows of opportunities that you probably won't see when you sulk all the time. It's shocking how suddenly someone who blends into the crowd can be once they smile.

 

 

[Shallow]

I seriously didnt realize that this whole making eyecontact with a guy and smiling was a way to signal that you are available and approachable. I will definitely try it, kinda nervous though. Maybe thats why guys dont approach me.

 

You definitely should, if it's towards someone you're interested in. Otherwise, I'd use this sparingly (others will probably disagree and say to do it all the time, so I probably just have some faulty wiring that needs to be fixed.)

[sweetdslollipop]

What if guys don't make eye contact?

 

I'll be smiling and they won't even see me.

[glucoze]

Then move on. Or say Hi.

Unless they are busy or aren't aware of your presence go over and say hi.

But if you are randomly walking and you see a guy and you smile and he isn't making eye contact i dont know if there isn't much you can do.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

i tried my best to make eye contact with a cute guy sitting at a table at a sushi restaurant... but he never even looked at me! I was practically staring at him the whole time, damn!