I feel like I'm going to throw up.

[-Sanguine-]

Okay, so before I start, I would like to say that I know what I did was stupid and I've learned my lesson. I would appreciate not to be lectured about it because I feel bad enough as it is.

 

 

When my boyfriend and I were long distance we often got horny.. pretty normal.. so I would take pictures of myself and send them to him. Some had more clothing than others, but most of them I wasn't wearing anything.. You get the picture.

 

So he had all these pictures on his phone and somehow they got out. A couple weeks ago my friend told me that her friend told her that she was at a party and some guys had my boyfriends phone and they saw some pictures of me on it. It made me upset, but I thought whatever, my boyfriend has his phone now.. so they can't see. He must have just left it laying around, especially if he had been drinking. Not smart.. but I can't blame him for all this.

 

Well apparently, somehow someone got the pictures on their own phone probably by sending them. I got an email today from someone (I hardly know her, I live in a small town so I just know her by name) but she messaged me and said that she was out of town last weekend and someone showed her pictures of me that were on my boyfriends phone. She just wanted to let me know but she refused to tell me who had them or where she was because she has to see this person everyday.. whatever, understandable.

 

Now, my boyfriend is outraged and wants to find whoever has them. And I feel like I'm going to throw up. I know it was my mistake and I'm paying for it. But I don't know what to do. What if my family sees? I live in a small town, word gets around. I would feel so ashamed. I already do.

 

I don't know what to do and I'm freaking out. I just want to know who has the pictures so I can ask them to stop it. There are three people we know of who have ever had my boyfriends phone but he said is phone was broken and it was hard to navigate so he doesn't understand how they found them..

 

I just feel SO disgusted and ashamed. I'm shaking.

I don't know how to deal with this.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Unfortunately there is not much you can do about jerks who want to get their kicks like that. Hopefully your boyfriend will be able to find out who it is and put a stop to it. Perhaps these idiots will get bored of their sick joke and will stop before it gets around to others such as your family. If your family finds out and start hassling you just tell them that you realize it was not the wisest thing and you learned your lesson.

[Lamour detruit]

Ignore it, and try to get over it. It's not that big of a deal really. I wouldn't be surprised if a wholeee lot of people's naked pictures are floating around somewhere. If you're in a small town, it's kind of hard to escape gossip, but if you just shrug it off as something that isn't that much of a big deal, it won't be. It is normal for couples to do this, and while it got leaked, it happens.

[-Sanguine-]

Unfortunately there is not much you can do about jerks who want to get their kicks like that. Hopefully your boyfriend will be able to find out who it is and put a stop to it. Perhaps these idiots will get bored of their sick joke and will stop before it gets around to others such as your family. If your family finds out and start hassling you just tell them that you realize it was not the wisest thing and you learned your lesson.

 

I just don't think I could ever look my brothers in the eye again if they found out. It makes me so sick. I mean, I understand why she can't tell me who but I want to know so bad. I know who saw them the first time and I wouldn't put it past him to do this.

[-Sanguine-]

Ignore it, and try to get over it. It's not that big of a deal really. I wouldn't be surprised if a wholeee lot of people's naked pictures are floating around somewhere. If you're in a small town, it's kind of hard to escape gossip, but if you just shrug it off as something that isn't that much of a big deal, it won't be. It is normal for couples to do this, and while it got leaked, it happens.

 

I know, it's just so hard.

Thinking about the pictures I took.. some weren't stuff ANYONE has a right to see besides him. The thought that they did makes me want to throw up.

[Taikero]

This is why I password protect anything I have of such a sensitive nature, and I never carry that sort of thing around with me.

 

Chalk this one up to carelessness and bad luck, and resolve to be more cautious with such things in the future (though that doesn't mean you shouldn't take such pictures anymore, as I'm sure your man enjoys them and it really is a nice thing to do for him).

 

The gossip will die down soon enough. It always does.

[Lamour detruit]

I can understand that, and your initial response is normal. You never want anyone to see such private pictures unless it is your boyfriend. Unfortunately, many times, one way or another, even when not intended, the pictures are seen by other eyes as well. Before you ever send such pictures, you gotta think to yourself if it's worth sending anyway, knowing that. To be honest, while private, naked pictures aren't anything worth being ashamed about. It was intended for your boyfriend, and just because a schmuck decided to have his way with it doesn't have a reflection on you. People see naked bodies all the time, if they do come upon your picture, I highly doubt they would judge you, only those that are trying to stir trouble would.

[-Sanguine-]

I can understand that, and your initial response is normal. You never want anyone to see such private pictures unless it is your boyfriend. Unfortunately, many times, one way or another, even when not intended, the pictures are seen by other eyes as well. Before you ever send such pictures, you gotta think to yourself if it's worth sending anyway, knowing that. To be honest, while private, naked pictures aren't anything worth being ashamed about. It was intended for your boyfriend, and just because a schmuck decided to have his way with it doesn't have a reflection on you. People see naked bodies all the time, if they do come upon your picture, I highly doubt they would judge you, only those that are trying to stir trouble would.

 

I really hope you're right.

It would be a lot different if I lived in a city. But my sister-in-law is friends with the woman who told me (although she promised not to say anything to anyone and I believe her). I'm from a town of about 1500 people. Word gets around fast. And I know my mom would be so upset.

[-Sanguine-]

This is why I password protect anything I have of such a sensitive nature, and I never carry that sort of thing around with me.

 

Chalk this one up to carelessness and bad luck, and resolve to be more cautious with such things in the future (though that doesn't mean you shouldn't take such pictures anymore, as I'm sure your man enjoys them and it really is a nice thing to do for him).

 

The gossip will die down soon enough. It always does.

 

He did enjoy them.. but they were from months ago. I haven't taken any pictures like that since December so it's kind of scary. And he has a new phone now so the pictures aren't on anyone's phone except this idiot who is showing people.

[-Sanguine-]

The thing is.. the person who told me.. she said this is someone she has to see every day and she doesn't want to make them mad. She is probably around 30. So I'm trying to figure out who she would see every day who is that much older than me.. and how in the hell they got the pictures. Ugh I feel like a detective.

 

And part of me is scared to find out cause I know my boyfriend is really angry and he wants to "smash the phone in that effers mouth"

although I know he wouldn't actually do that.

[melrich]

Agree with the others, there is little you can do and even finding the original source will do you little good. Once they are out, they are out and likley to be posted on internet sites catering for this sort of thing.

 

It is a salient lesson to everyone, no matter how much you trust or how careful you are, these sorts of things do have a habit of reaching a wider audience.

[Mauxly]

Were the pictures taken before you were 18? I'm not sure about Canada law, but in the USA, anyone who looks at those pictures is subject to the laws against child pornography. Just HAVING the pictures means at least 10 years in prison for each picture. Anyone who knowingly distributes them could get up to life. It is HUGE.

Now, I know that both you and your boyfriend are liable too. So I'd delete all of the pictures off of his phone. And then let all of your friends know about the age issue and that "Oh no! An investigation has been started, and you are really worried!" Kind of a huge white lie. But probably enough to scare the crap out of anyone who looked at them and heaven forbid actually has any copies.

 

So long as you are fibbing, just go ahead and tell them that you were under age when they were taken...

[-Sanguine-]

]

Agree with the others, there is little you can do and even finding the original source will do you little good. Once they are out, they are out and likley to be posted on internet sites catering for this sort of thing.

 

It is a salient lesson to everyone, no matter how much you trust or how careful you are, these sorts of things do have a habit of reaching a wider audience.

 

Oh my god.. the internet. ](*,)

[-Sanguine-]

I was 18 when the pictures were taken. I'm almost 100% positive anyway. The majority of them were taken last September to Decemeber (I don't even think any were taken before that) So I was definitely 18.

 

All the pictures are off his phone, he has a new one now and the other one is gone. And I haven't taken any like that since December so no more can get out..

 

But I did take quite a lot before..

[abitbroken]

Maybe this is a lesson learned. Anything sent by text or email is not really private, or only to a certain extent. Maybe next time, entice him via webcam or just let him more eagerly anticipate the next time he sees you. I don't mean to add insult to injury. It is just that when something that is true, or that really happened comes out, it is not just on the gossippy people but also on the person who made the choice in the first place that might have not been so keen in retrospect. I just know pictures can really come back to bite someone either by someone accidentally getting ahold of them or when the person in the picture is established in their profession and they come out later.

 

Please encourage your boyfriend to delete them from his old camera just for safety's sake too.

[Speranza]

Hey, it's not JUST your fault! He was a bit silly too!

 

I can imagine this feels really awful but just think ahead twenty years - it really won't matter.

 

Am I strange for thinking I'd hate this MORE if it had been an Ex who leaked them? At least you are still with him and you have each other, anyone who sees the pics doesn't see YOU. It will die down. And you HAVE learnt from this. Hugs.

[-Sanguine-]

Maybe this is a lesson learned. Anything sent by text or email is not really private, or only to a certain extent. Maybe next time, entice him via webcam or just let him more eagerly anticipate the next time he sees you. I don't mean to add insult to injury. It is just that when something that is true, or that really happened comes out, it is not just on the gossippy people but also on the person who made the choice in the first place that might have not been so keen in retrospect. I just know pictures can really come back to bite someone either by someone accidentally getting ahold of them or when the person in the picture is established in their profession and they come out later.

 

Please encourage your boyfriend to delete them from his old camera just for safety's sake too.

 

It is definitely a lesson learned.

We don't send dirty pics anymore. We haven't for like 5 months.

And his phone which had the pictures on it is gone and there's no way the pitures can get out again. So that's good, I guess.

 

I'm just so worried that my family will find out about them. My name will be ruined..

[-Sanguine-]

Hey, it's not JUST your fault! He was a bit silly too!

 

I can imagine this feels really awful but just think ahead twenty years - it really won't matter.

 

Am I strange for thinking I'd hate this MORE if it had been an Ex who leaked them? At least you are still with him and you have each other, anyone who sees the pics doesn't see YOU. It will die down. And you HAVE learnt from this. Hugs.

 

I know, he could have deleted them, too or not left his phone around. It is an equal fault for both of us. I am glad I am with him and he is going to try to help me find out who did this.

[-Sanguine-]

I feel like I can't do anything but lay around here and worry that someone is looking at my pictures! Ah..

[Mauxly]

I was 18 when the pictures were taken. I'm almost 100% positive anyway. The majority of them were taken last September to Decemeber (I don't even think any were taken before that) So I was definitely 18.

 

All the pictures are off his phone, he has a new one now and the other one is gone. And I haven't taken any like that since December so no more can get out..

 

But I did take quite a lot before..

 

OK, so here's the deal. The jerk who is showing people the pictures? He does not know that you were 18 when they were taken. I know your friend doesn't want to tell you who it is. But you could but a bug in your friend's ear. Tell them that, "Oh the horror! I was only 17 when those pictures were taken and someone found out about them and notified the police. The police are taking it VERY seriously and you are very afraid of what might happen to the people who have looked at/have copies of the pictures because the penalties are so harsh"

 

I'm sure this information will get back to the jerk.

 

I'm not a fan of dishonesty, but you need to get this guy to stop showing people the pictures and delete them right? If he thinks he's in possession of something that can land him in jail, he may delete them and try to forget the whole thing.

[Mauxly]

Actually, you don't even have to lie about the police being involved. Just tell your friend that you were 17 when the pictures were taken and threaten to go to the police.

[-Sanguine-]

I could, I guess..

I'll talk to my boyfriend about it.

 

I've never actually talked to this person before this, so it's not like we're friends at all. I wonder if she would find it suspicious that I would say I'm 17 after the fact that she told me?

 

I dunno, part of me doesn't think they would even take that seriously. If it is the person who I think it is, they likely know I'm 18. Actually of the three people we think it could have been, they all went to school with me and they know my age. I could say that I was 17 but I really have no proof of that, couldn't they argue that?

[-Sanguine-]

Actually, you don't even have to lie about the police being involved. Just tell your friend that you were 17 when the pictures were taken and threaten to go to the police.

 

That's true..

Good point. I'll see what my boyfriend says when I talk to him and then decide.

Thanks..

[Mauxly]

I could, I guess..

I'll talk to my boyfriend about it.

 

I've never actually talked to this person before this, so it's not like we're friends at all. I wonder if she would find it suspicious that I would say I'm 17 after the fact that she told me?

 

I dunno, part of me doesn't think they would even take that seriously. If it is the person who I think it is, they likely know I'm 18. Actually of the three people we think it could have been, they all went to school with me and they know my age. I could say that I was 17 but I really have no proof of that, couldn't they argue that?

 

I'm not saying tell them that you are 17, tell them that you were 17 when the pics were taken. If I thought for a moment that I had something that could land me in jail for 30+ years, I don't think that I'd stop to ask for proof. I'd get rid of it as soon as possible.

[lavenderdove]

I'd call the phone company and ask for records... they probably emailed or texted the photos to someone else's phone, and the cellphone records would be able to tell you what number they were sent to...

 

It might be illegal to do this kind of thing, steal someone's phone and pictures, so you might want to do that research, and if you find out who is sending them round, prosecute them, if for no other reason, to prevent them being sent around some more.

 

They can subpoena each phone record as the pictures are propagated between phones, so you might be able to put a stop to this.